Itās cold in the dungeon tonight
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So yes. I relapsed after yesterdays gym. Still I feel gym gived me that diferent mentality. I drinked but I denied the drink all the time. I think I not even got high.
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Looking great Joe. Keep it up 
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sorry to hear about the relapse. you know what happens now: you aks yourself what led you to it. you ask yourself what it is you need? and you try and give yourself that, you, not alcohol. love, compassion, patience, hope, safetyā¦ all examples of things we need and we need to provide for ourselves.
the gym is a great asset, everyone here can attest to that, but itās not getting anyone sober. much love my friend. youāre not alone!
Iām getting back to training, heavily deloaded and still no pull movements not to aggravate the tendinitis but just glad to be back. doing anything at all. will be higher reps lower weights for me for a while which feels weird and not as satisfying. but I am not complaining. being cleared to do some training at all is a major blessing. thinking I might be out for months for a while, I was in a dark spot for sure.
keep grinding, team! 
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So thought Iād throw in another update for my ongoing fitness journey. Iāve successfully completed 7 perfect weeks, which basically means I stuck to 4 workouts a week, every week, for 7 weeks.
Iām feeling a lot better within myself, finally starting to reap all the exercise benefits. Itās in the little things. Like the other day I dropped a coin at the till in the supermarket and I was able to quickly squat down, grab it and get back up. One nice smooth movement.
I really wanna start implementing even more walking into my routine because Iām becoming slightly agoraphobic these days and itās not healthy. My idea of a good day is cleaning my flat top to bottom. Likeā¦ the flat is spotless, I should get some fresh air now 
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This is the best thing about it. Weight loss and all the other things are nice added bonuses, but the overall feeling inside is the best. Glad youāre getting the benefits of the hard work youāve been putting in. 
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Iām still not getting the benefits I am hopeful for.
Been 3-4 weight sessions per week for past 5 weeks.
On days I exercise my body is under stress load when I hit the hay, and I get a mediocre rest and my body battery does a crappy recharge at night (Garmin watch tracks all this shit). Only getting like a 40% body batter and 6.5 hours of sleep.
And as for weight, arghhh. Eating only between 11am-6pm and eating very healthyā¦ NOT A DAMN POUND DROPPED!
Itās becoming frustrating as all hell.
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Weight loss can take a little bit depending on your metabolism. Even though your doing an intermittent fasting schedule, are you tracking your macros through an app like My Fitness Pal? That helps a lot so you can see exactly what your taking in. Also I donāt know what your workouts look like, but if your taking long breaks in between sets it not the fastest way for weight loss. Try cutting your rest times in half and even doing exercises back to back, like supersets. Make it more of an HIIT style, even if that means you have to lighten up the weight a little bit.
I also donāt know when you got sober, but my sleep really didnāt start to regulate until about 3 months. I basically was still working out, and felt like dog shit and exhausted for the first few months.
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Definitely not tracking macros or anything to that detail yet. Still trying to get my workout routines into a pattern a bit.
I lift pretty decently heavy. 3 sets of 10-12 reps, with last coming close to failure. Rest 60 secs between each set.
Iāll keep at it, and am setting up a new bench today for legs so tomorrow get a bit more leg work in.
Im working hard to get all dialled in before end of month. My wife is headed to Mexico for month of March (Iām staying behind as we lost our dog sitterā¦ fuckinā hell). So want to take that opt to hit gym harder for the month,
Thanks for reply Joe. Was just venting as itās bothering me a bit. Iāve done this all before and understand the process, itās just never been this stubborn in the past to get the dial moving.
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Iām needing to bed into a routine. I finish work in one week so am going to set myself a schedule to follow for some inspo and to start as a means to get my mental health kicked into touch. This career break is my launch into my new self.
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Got my 600th workout with my virtual people
šš»āā Iāve been working out with Camp Gladiator for a few years now. I really enjoy their programming and not having to plan my workout 
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Trying to figure out who the hockey players are on your wallā¦I got nothin, canāt tell even with zooming in.
But I do know the ASU logo, are you in AZ like I am?
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Haha, one is autographed Trevor Linden and one Roberto Luongo from Vancouver Canucks. Thereās a few more of them about the house.
ASU logo is a metal project son did as his team for Midget AAA hockey, where he was captain his last season there was the North Delta SunDevils in BC, and that was there logo as well.
I wish I was in Arizona, lol. Been many times but at moment east coast of Canada is where we reside.
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So 30 mins on Suckmill,
Then 50 mins on legsā¦ well letās say that was a little crazy. Could barely walk up the stairs from basement and couldnāt do my 15 min yoga stretch.
Think Iāll mix in legs with each workout instead of a full session. That hurt and I probably pushed way to hardā¦
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That is so cool!
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Its a journey not a race. Im happy that ive switched off the want to ego lift. Its been years since i last weight trained, repping 44lbs thats just the bar in bench press, dead lift and squat likely too.
Im not at the gym for anyone else but myself but damn its a harsh reality that im not 20 anymore.
Form first the weight will come.
Smashed some chest and back today was still solid work out, picking up some more supplements tomorrow looking forward to getting into a full four days.
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welcome back to the goodness.
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Loved Linden growing up and Bobby-Lu is an all-time netminder. Awesome memorabilia to have!
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What was suppose to be a light deload day turned into a heavy lift lol started with squats going from just the bar to 135x5, 225x5, 315x5, and finished with 1 rep for 405! Did calve raises, adduction/abduction, leg extension and hamstrings. Decided I wanted more so I went to leg press and got up to 973lb for 1 rep and my legs started getting jittery so I called it good for the day! lol 3 more days and Iāll be at 1 year and 10 months sober from alcohol and letās just say Iām proud of the process this has taken and where Iām going on this sober path!
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Weāre proud of you too.
The guy in the background is walking around like āHey who took all the fuckin platesā.
Why donāt you learn to share bro. 
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