thank you, very kind
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Praying for you “stranger” but know that you are Blessed to have someone to call to address the loneliness. It is a Blessing that not everyone has.
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Good evening everyone or that’s what it is where I am. Thank you all for being a part of this app and this thread. Thank you for the support, advice, prayers and praise, it all matters, you all matter.
So today have I used H.A.L.T. … not really. I dusted it off recently hence, this thread. I am partly doing this dusting off as I am creeping up on a significant to me milestone(2 years without any drugs). Then it’s the holiday season. I have also made a big change by re-entering into the work force. I am also planning to most likely move in April. Also not being able to attend groups and meetings at the treatment center. Admist all these changes I have been dealing with a sponsor who relapsed and is back in treatment, and an ex who has had to be hospitalized. I pray for the strength to handle these things one moment at a time, not even one day at a time. I talk about these things (and it helps),here, at meetings, with my counsellor and some family and friends. I wish to keep moving forward, helping myself and others. Not always sure the best way to do it, but using all these tools I have learned and attempting to apply them to the best of my ability. So I will try slowing down,(cause sometimes I get hyper) praying(cause God is great), meditating(back to slowing down), talk therapy(everyone should be heard), faith, fun, food, sleep, exercise, gratitude, music and so on. Maybe I can’t… but we can. 
p.s. You are a star. Shine bright. Ya you!!
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Oh man. I didn’t realize your sponsor relapsed.
I’ll keep Kelley in my prayers for good health and a speedy recovery.
Great idea slowing things down. Especially the meditation. I got a good one in today myself. I needed it.
You’re awesome friend.
And your an awesome friend.
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It’s the SD, P, M, TT, F, F, F, S, E, G, M, and so on! We can! You’re not alone!
( slowing down,(cause sometimes I get hyper) praying(cause God is great), meditating(back to slowing down), talk therapy(everyone should be heard), faith, fun, food, sleep, exercise, gratitude, music and so on.)
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Good afternoon friends,
Well so far today I am…
Tired. Reason… new job, not a great sleep. Solution… Make an effort to go to bed earlier tonight. Recite some prayers. Write about it, giving some of its power away.
Sore. Reason… probably the new job and not a great sleep. Solution… Get some rest, do some stretching before and after work. Pray for strength. Write about it, giving some of its power away.
Lonely. Reason…being single, learning to love and be by myself is hard, working with a bunch of women is also hard and making it a more prevalent problem recently. Solution… Use my boundaries, focus on work, pray for strength, and write about it taking away some of its power.
Hungry. Reason…need to eat and do groceries. Solution… Go get groceries and eat.
Still trying my best. My life is good. This is not a post to say its not by the way, it is a post to focus on what I can do to make it even better. May yours be better too!!
God bless you all. 
&
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I love the positivity, such a great way to see things. I hope you can get some sleep soon!
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I love that you named the problem and then a solution. Will all of those solutions work? Unknown, but the process gives you so much power.
I will keep this in mind. You have helped me.
Thank you.
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I said on another thread I wasn’t gonna do this, it’s, fucking Christmas Eve, actually now Christmas. Guess who is angry(me)… guess who’s fault it actually is(mine)… guess who struggles to shut it off once he gets stewing in his anger… guess who allowed himself to build expectations however guarded and minor at home, work, friendships everywhere, even though he has been told not to time and again… guess who is getting re-stuck with resentments and building new ones… guess who wants to punch someone, anyone in the face… guess who is having to fight turning it inward… guess who is having to fight challenging family, friends and co workers lately… guess who hates to lose… ok its me Lol i am still talking about me. guess who feels like they are winning and losing at the same time… guess who isn’t satisfied just being clean and sober anymore… guess who wants to be able to say this shit, cusses and all to family at meetings, wherever… and not be shunned or judged, to be made feel less than , to be told not to feel that way, he is doing good enough, to not feel minimized… to get a new sponsor and already get ignored, to feel better and worse at the same time… wanting and getting answers but being afraid, then not accept or believing them(answers) … feeling somewhat broken again when i thought i was fixing things… wanting real advice but can’t afford it…not wanting advice from fucking strangers on here btw if we dont have a pre exisitib repore dontcome at me with some drivel… out no where… who do you think you are, giving advice to someone you don’t know on a thread that isn’t titled advice and questions … wake the fuck up… did i mention i have anger issues when i feel insulted, disrespeced treated unfairly or watching it happen to others… guess who is also lonely, hungry and tired… MEEE
Trying to pray about it, meditate, post this, eat, sleep or just relax but it ain’t happening yet.
Guess I need to refocus, I know I do. Gonna try my best. Hope seeing my sisters and neices tomorrow will help. Hope getting away from work and housemates for a bit will help. Not being able to get as much recovery in from starting work and being removed from the treatment center volunteer group has really made a negative difference. Solution time, less tv and video games in my downtime. more of this and online AA or NA… wish me luck.
@Lisa07 @Dazercat thanks for being here @M-be-free49 I hope you stick around … there i go with expectation Lmao
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Holy Shit Brian.
I hope that felt good to let it all out here. I’m sorry you got so much shit going on tonight. I glad you cut loose on here. It always helps me.
No let’s get to some breathing.
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Thanks buddy… this feels like a more appropriate thread for cutting loose than our regular one Lol.
God bless you and yours brother and I hope you have a very Merry Christmas.
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That was a lot of shit you just unloaded. Good for you! I hope you feel a little lighter now. Try to get some rest and I’ll pray for better days ahead. Much love to you my friend.
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Thank you very much. I went a little over board in the moment. Very much appreciate your support and have already drawn plenty of helpful stuff from your posts over time. Thank you for that.
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Queue the pity party/vent session…
Hungry. I was hungry today for leftover turkey. I wanted to pull the platter out of my folks’ frig, dish up some of the little shrapnel-like pieces with a few other leftovers. I was hungry yesterday to sit across the kitchen counter while Dad carved the turkey and let me pick at little bits.
Angry. I still have a lot of low-lying (read: not very visible) anger that it just won’t ever be that way anymore. Mostly now it’s grief/healthy sadness, and even that is changing to gratitude. But catch me on the wrong day and the anger surfaces in a childlike display of vehement anger. This after so much therapy.
I’m also angry that my plans changed this Christmas. No visit with pals who are like family – pandemic travel stuff. Was then supposed to go see Mom in the seniors centre, and I still want to, but I haven’t/can’t because the roads were shite and then I got the booster and was sick, and now both the weather and roads are interfering again.
I’m also now kind of angry about going. It’s going to make me sad. (See above re: childlike behaviour.) Dementia is a tough one. Besides, I’m through the hard days of this holiday, and now I want to putter in my little home and make soup stock and do yoga and read books and have some downtime. Instead of feeling sad. Though I never regret going, it’s just sometimes so hard.
Lonely. Yup, for what can’t be replaced.
Tired. Better today, because I slept off two days of booster shot hellishness. I think there’s a deeper tired in me though, that begs to be tended to by a lighter load, more time for rest and play.
I hate it when I talk like this. I’ve been nothing but super fortunate all my life. Still, it helps to just name what hurts.
Off to the gratitude thread… 
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It’s ok to speak these things, Emm. That’s what we’re here for. I appreciate your sharing about the anger. It’s understandable to be angry for a while over the sad stuff that we have zero control over, but still have to cope with. It will eventually become more manageable. That’s been my experience with anger about life events and sorrows. They bring us that deep tiredness, but we ARE able to come out of it stronger. You’re on my heart. I appreciate your presence, and I’m sending you lots of love.
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Thank you, Carolyn. I know I will come out of it and land on my feet, but probably only because of replies like yours and other supports that help me carry the load, you know? Thanks for listening and for your kind words. Love back at’cha.
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I need to practice doing this. Thanks for your honesty.
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Good evening friends.
I have heard people change the H. in halt to horny and add and S. at the end for sad. I get it. I usually stick with the hungry angry lonely tired bit though. That being said after reading @M-be-free49 recent post it reminded me, bless your heart friend. It reminded me of the sad bit. After a very nice holiday visit with my parents and other family I am a little sad. Watching dementia in Mom is hard, Dad going deaf, nieces barely knowing who I am and being uncomfortable around me is sad. I did enjoy the visit and totally understand it is better than not being there. Now I come home to a lonely situation which gets worse at night when I am tired. Gratefully there is a solution. A solution with lots of choices. Especially now that I am clean and sober and planning to stay that way. I found what works for me. Pray, meditate slow down, talk it out, share it here or on other threads, sponsorship and sponsoring through the twelve steps, therapy, pray some more, laugh and cry and deal with it as best I can, sing and dance like no ones watching, cause they aren’t, they are on there phone Lol Anyway glad you are here, whoever you may be reading this.
God bless you and yours. &
p.s. You are a star shine bright. Ya you!!
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I’m really angry and upset right now. Rather then instigate I’m going to step away and take a break.
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