I had my one year sober anniversay 2/19/24. On the day of the solar eclipse, I had a glass of wine. To be honest, it wasnt the same as it used to be. I didnt enjoy it as much as I expected to. I didnt even reset my clock for two reasons, one because “it was only one glass”, and two because since I didnt enjoy it I figured I wouldnt drink again anytime soon and didnt want to throw away 414 days of progress even though now I realize that I already did.
I’m getting married this year and last night me and my fiance went to our wedding venue to finalize details with the planner. I had 2 tall cans of white claws and 2 glasses of wine within a 4 and a half hour period. It actually got me drunk. I reset my clock today. I woke up feel so gross and disappointed in myself. I didnt do anything wrong when I was drunk, wasnt rude or mean to anyone, but looking back on last night I just feel so stupid for how I let the alcohol win again and take control.
So, back to square one. I’m afraid that on my wedding I’ll drink again. We already have a champagne toast scheduled into the close of the ceremony. I honestly feel like one of the hardest parts of staying sober is the “social pariah” effect I feel. I hate being that one person that wont take a drink when theres a toast and feeling like an outcast. Its so hard being seen from my partner as someone who cant handle alcohol because I feel defective. (my partner doesnt make me feel that way for the record, it is me just wanting to fit in)
Looks like that seemingly innocent 1 glass of wine opened the flood gates…u are not defective at all just some of us cannot drink…and will never be able to drink as others do, back on the horse and remember that you will never be “cured”
Hey there,
414 days is a great achievment and you should be proud of yourself.
Planing to drink again might not be the wisest of choices. You can always opt to have some kind of sparkling beverage to toast with that is alcohol free.
Us addicts are allergic to drugs & alcohol ive realized this after so many years so you must admit that to yourself & dont even try worry about what other people think when you dont toast at venues i mean its your recovery & noone else needs to know.
The key to that sentence is I feel , this is ego. An out of control alcoholic is much more a social pariah than a recovering alcoholic. Like it or not you’re probably always going to be one of them, so which one would you like to be?
If you’re surrounded by sober people nobody will think it’s weird you’re sober. Surround yourself with what you want to become.
Welcome back . You can do this, you deserve a sober, happy, healthy life.
Speaking as someone who is not here on this platform because of alcohol issues: I don’t drink alcohol at events and I never feel like a ‘social pariah’. I just opt for the non-alcoholic option. This is a choice I make, not some kind of burden placed on me.
You know what friend? From what I’ve experienced, there’s not actually much of a stigma socially with being recovering addict as there used to be. I’m a recovering addict, and I’ve begun to feel lately that it’s almost “in” to be such. Don’t worry about the loss of the 414 days. Time lapse doesn’t matter so much. It’s quality of life right now. Just love yourself and your spouse, be a good person and be happy. People will respect that.
Hi I had two and a half years sobriety, then relapsed. Then took me three years to commit to my sobriety again. Now on day 301
I think its fantastic u have caught hold of yourself so well. You are not a social pariah. You are an inspiration. Loads of folks respect people for not drinkinf and if u want an alcohol free toast. U can! Tonight I will have a nosecco
Do you know what looks, smells and fizzes like champagne? Non alcoholic champagne. Just make sure yours is poured as such. If you care what people think, have a white cloth wrapped round the bottle like a fancy restaurant. Addicts like us have to plan a bit but it’s no barrier to having an awesome day !
This stood out to me as if I got married right now no one would expect me to be involved in a champagne toast, I am sober and I don’t bow to any ones else’s expectations when it comes to drinking, my partner would think I was off my rocker as he knows I’m in recovery and supports me, does your partner support your sobriety?
So congratulations on getting back on the horse thats the main thing those 414 days arent lost they have shown you what life can be like.
I looked at my stats the other day as i hit 7 months sober but do u no what i was more proud that over the last year ive only drunk 4 times so that was 4 relapses before now if someone would of told me in a calendar year id only drink 4 times id think they were mad i used to do that in a week. Take your wins wherever u can i say as this illness will kick lumps out of you whenever it can.
so take the hit this time learn from it and go again you got this ADAAT
I started to try and get sober 14 months ago. I’m on day 43 of this stretch (my second longest) but in total I have consumed less alcohol in 14 months than I would have done in 2 weeks’ before I started to try. A 95%+ reduction in consumption.
I’m enjoying being sober, and this is by no means an endorsement of or excuse for slipping, but my life is so much better now than it was 14 months ago even if I have not been perfect.
It’s the disappointment in ourselves that hurts the most… and the remorse of not being who we want to be! I’m on day seven ‘again’ and feeling good! Try not to be too hard on yourself… it’s a disease! My worse thing is not the cravings but the negative self talk along with good cop and bad cop on my shoulders talking me into it!
. You can do this, you deserve a sober, happy, healthy life.
I had two and a half years sobriety, then relapsed. Then took me three years to commit to my sobriety again. Now on day 301
