Woke up this moring with extreme anxiety and sadness. I am working on day 4 of being sober from an alcohol dependency. My husband left me on Sunday and I am very unsure of our future at this point. Sunday evening was the last time I had a drink was when he walked out the door. He blames every and ALL our marriage issues on my drinking. I do admit, that I am responsible for what has happened and now it is time to change for ME. I do not want to be like this anymore. I just wish I had seen the error of my way much sooner. Maybe I did and just chose to ignore it. My husband has turned his back on me and walked away. It is not his job to change me, only I am able to do that, but I don’t even have his support anymore. I am super scared and alone.
What I forgot to mention is this will be my third chance if my husband decides to come back. I have made empty promises to him and I both and I let both of us down each time. That’s is why I think this time he is really done. Again, what ever comes of our marriage, I MUST come first. I wouldn’t blame him if he truly wants a divorce because I let both of us down in this relationship.
3 weeks ago I was in a similar situation. I think the only reason she didn’t walk out, was she had nowhere to go. But after 3 days of not talking, and then some tears and yelling (from both of us) I too took responsibility for mine and alcohols role in our problems. So I guess I am saying work on you, and let them know and be part of the work, if they are willing. Good luck on day 5.
Oh boy. I am so sorry.
I too am on day four. I also cannot handle alcohol. I have also lost my partner.
So, I’m with ya. It’s so hard and lonely but we can get through this. I’ve only been coming here for a few days and it has definitely helped me. I don’t have much advice (if any) but if you need a friend to chat with - let me know - I’ll probably need one too.
Good for you for coming here
hey there, glad you’ve found the forum, welcome! there’s a lot of support from others with similar experiences on here so you’re in good company.
that’s a thread i encourage everyone new to the forum check out. read it over it’s a great starting point.
the forum has a lot of people going about their recoveries with different approaches. some engage in established programs of recover (smart, aa, etc) and others create their own programs. there’s a lot of people maintaining sobriety and living better lives on this forum and regardless of their individual paths and approaches i think a common factor in the people having success is that they are committing to bettering themselves and staying clean/sober each and every morning.
i’ve seen a number of people turn their lives around and rebuild broken lives/relationships. with consistent effort and time i’m confident you as well. i encourage you to get out of your comfort zone and put the effort into your recovery. in my experience it’s a “you get out what you put in” type situation so give it all you got and the results will come.
again, welcome and check in here often and stay connected
Hi, sorry to hear your troubles.
But you seem to have the right attitude.
You know it’s all on you to change. Don’t worry about who’s fault it all was, we all know it takes two.
If you strive to make a better you then who knows what the future will bring. It’s yours for the making.
Sorry to hear your struggling. A lot of us have either had this fear, or had the reality of someone leaving because of addiction. Your on the right path. Just keep yourself healthy first. Actions will always speak louder than words. For people to see that we have changed…we have to show them with our actions. It’s a rough road but is worth it. I’ve put a lot of strain on my own relationship with alcohol, so I understand. You can do it. You have support here. Reach out​:heavy_heart_exclamation: hugs to you
Bigs hugs . I’m in a similar place. You have made a start to change by stop drinking, please do this for yourself as well as your marriage. You are not being selfish putting yourself first especially if the changes benefits all. Not knowing the whole story, but your drinking cannot be the only factor for your husband walking out, it takes two to work on a relationship so please don’t think all the blame is on you. I can easily blame my husband’s faults in our marriage because he is unfaithful, an alcoholic, and all the other complications that goes with this. However, I choose also to drink, knowing I’m feeling depressed which led to heated arguments. Communication is the main key, keeping all channels open. Allow yourself to grieve and give yourself and your husband space to think things over. Once he sees that you are serious on the changes you are making he may look at things more differently. Please speak to friends and family for support and this site is always open 24/7 for chat.
Sorry that you are struggling with the uncertainty in your life, today. One thing you can be certain of is drinking won’t make anything better, but it can make things a whole lot worse.
I do believe had I kept drinking, my wife would have left me. But I quit, and things improved daily.
If there’s a chance to save your marriage, it rests upon your sobriety, as this is one of the few things that are 100% within your control. You can choose not to drink. No matter what happens with your husband, you can choose sobriety.
Two months ago, my husband almost left me because of my drinking. I convinced him to give me one last chance and got my ass into AA.
You are right that you need to do this for you regardless of whether your marriage works out. But I can say from personal experience that going to AA and working the steps goes a long way towards showing a partner that you’re commiting to getting well. And if the relationship does end, it will provide a support system for you. Which you need either way right now.
I’m so sorry you’re hurting. Focus on getting sober, and I promise you that your life will improve
Hi,
I’m sorry you are feeling low and thinking you are on your own. You have a lot of people on here who can empathize.
My wife gave me an ultimatum. Either I get sober or she leaves me. I got sober and she left me anyway. Oh well, at least I am sober now and reaping all the benefits.
It is great that you recognize that things have to change and you have taken big steps to make things better. This is going to be a great turning point in your life.
Times will be tough sometimes, especially at the beginning of recovery but definitely, definitely worth it! Best wishes.
Thank you so much for your kindness and understanding. It is so scary mot knowing what tomorrow brings, but we just have to be strong for today. Tomorrow will soon be a whole new today. You are in my prayers and I am here as well if you ever need a supportive shoulder.
