I know from my previous forays into the world of recovery that you really should have ‘a plan’. In fact, I’m wondering if my past failures to kick the booze were as a result of not having a plan. Or it wasn’t a very good plan. Or I didn’t stick to it.
OR I could just have had the whole idea of ‘a plan’ the wrong way around. After all, in my mind the word ‘plan’ conjures images of little flags in maps in an underground bunker.
So my question is, ‘What, in your opinion, is “a plan”?’ As in, what shape does it take? Is it a list on your computer? Is it a set of strategies you carry around in your head? And what sort of things are on your plan? ‘Not to to drink’ is presumably item one. But beyond that?
If ever going to be a place where alcohol could become a problem, make sure you have your own transportation (plan).
Carry a sobriety tool box. Have things like a list of reasons you quit. A list of things you are grateful for. A challenge list: Name three things around you making noise, three things that blue, three things you’ve never seen before,etc., aroma therapy oils, a list of friends numbers or a reminder just to reach out, a fidget spinner.
Go to a meeting.
Schedule your day, don’t leave time for boredom.
Keep healthy snacks and drinks in the house always.
Know what you’ll say when someone asks why you aren’t drinking.
I found that having a plan is one thing but putting the action into that plan is a whole other story. I can’t count how many times I made a plan, while in active addiction, but never followed through. Once I started putting the action in every single day, my plan materialized.
Hmm i dont really have much of a plan. Ive basically psychologically put alcohol behind a closed door, and my plan amounts to not looking through the keyhole. Ive made it a non-option, and translated the accumulation of any discomfort caused by resistance into a positive display of personal progress. It may not be the most comfortable way to go about it. Someone here said to plan your day and leave no room for boredom. Thats a great tip because i am being absolutely murdered by boredom every day im not at work. It doesnt tempt me, it just sucks like crazy. I keep saying boredom is a sober person’s burden. I may have been glass eyed and 80 iq points short of a full tank constantly, but i kept entertained lol. Id rather sit bored out of my mind than go back though, of course.
I really feel like i have no businesses posting here anymore, to go on a slight tangent. Im basically just doing a glorified version of the willpower method. And for whatever reason im not being tested very hard. And every time i talk about that i feel like it doesnt help anyone and i come off like i feel im somehow better than others. Im just bewildered by it, honestly. On top of that i dont have much advice i can offer. I was talking to an old friend who has struggled with various addictions as long as ive known her, and she asked me how i was doing and i explained i was over a month sober. She congratulated me and asked how i did it, and i explained it just hasnt been much of a struggle and how it confused me. Im aware that sounds like a brag but theres no way to objectively explain it without it sounding that way, aside from many qualifying statements that seemed to go misunderstood. She just left the chat. I feel like ive done nothing wrong, but i also feel like i have nothing helpful to contribute. Might go into lurkmode for a while. Sorry for venting on your post! Feels good to type this out anyhow. Good luck!
Don’t worry, Reed, it’s a great post. Say, might it be the case that it’s not much of a struggle for you now because you have the strong resolve of early sobriety and therefore willpower feels like it’s enough?
Like, today no force in the world could make me drink because the horrors of the last week are so fresh in my mind. But two months down the line, when those bad memories have faded, that’s when I might need my plan.
Oh for sure, i fully expect it to get more difficult later when maintaining gets tiresome and all the positives seem less shiny. But ive tried this before and had a much harder time early on. I dont think ive magically and suddenly solved it, i just expected it to be harder or at least as hard as before. I thought i was gonna go through DTs and everything this time. The biggest difference here is this is the first time ive gone into it knowing i wont ever be able to drink in moderation. Somehow that finality makes it easier for me, not harder. Ive tried to look at it like mourning its corpse and burying it vs missing it while it lives and breathes in the next room, forcing myself to not walk over and turn the doorknob. Theres no wondering when itll be okay again. I can now silence the voice that wants to rationalize it, because its just entirely off the table. Quitting cocaine gave me a lot of tools that i can apply to alcohol now, and im just now realizing thats probably most of whats going on. I had to turn my back on that shit completely and lean on time to try to forget as much of it as possible to dull the blade of desire, all while using every fiber of my being and willpower not to break. I at least have seen my trajectory of recovery and have been through it before, so i have more trust in the process than i ever did before. I know if i stay away for long enough, i forget why i would want to do it at all. Pair that with the knowledge that opening a bottle is like swinging my legs over the edge of an open well, well…
No alcohol in my house for the first 3 months of my recovery
No alcohol related events for the first 3 months of my recovery (so no: pub, festival, restaurant, concert, etc)
Inform my family and close friends about my sober plan so they can support me and don’t offer me drinks.
Avoid the wine/beer section in the supermarket
Fill my refrigerator with healthy foods and alcohol free drinks.
Buy enough chocolate and sweets to eat for when I have cravings.
Look for activaties and hobbies to fill in time. Like walking in nature, run, reading, watch Netflix, listen to recovery podcast (recovery elevator is a good one ), work out, gardening, studying something new, etc.
Reduce social media to protect myself
Getting a day counter on my phone and smart watch to focus on my amount on sober days.
Getting myself a sober peer group to support me in my recovery like TS ore AA.
Getting myself a meditation app filled with breathing exercizes and meditation. (Insight timer for example)
If I have cravings I try to find out where they come from using H.A.L.T
If that won’t work I come to TS and talk about it. But sometimes just reading all your stories help
I used a vitamin B complex supplement to get more energy during the day. Also I used a melatonin supplement to help me with my sleeping problems in the first few months.
Celebrated every milestone! I gave myself a small gift like cake ore a nice t shirt ore whatever to celebrate my effort. At least in my first year I needed that! And gave myself a big gift when I reached my one year: a big back piece tattoo!!
And last but not least: make it as small as possible. Focus on today. Today is douable! If you do that day after day you will get that long sober stretch.
This is what I call my sober plan.
Make your own, it helps!
), work out, gardening, studying something new, etc.