Thanks homie 
I will edit this post I’m making here after my CA sponsor meeting and whatnot once I have the chance to think more about your questions 
@DresdenLaPage aight yo here’s my answers to the questions 
“Is distraction going to be enough in the long run?”
Good point, I don’t think distractions will be enough in the long-term tbh. I need to focus on my recovery and not thinking about coke so much for sure like what you and the others said for sure I also need to learn to deal with my emotions better and learn to accept that bad days happen, bad stuff happens, bad times happen, bad emotions happen and that’s just a part of life. I kept using my DOC in the past because it numbed the fuck out of my emotions I realize (and also because for a while during the early part of addiction, it made me really productive at work. But of course when you’re dopamine is shot up to an alienated level, your dopamine shall eventually crash to a hellish level). I need to also learn to be able to be focused at work and whatnot without needing a stimulant I realize.
“What’s the motivation behind the motivation?”
Not quite sure that I fully understand this question, but I’m gonna try to answer it, so basically 17 days ago I hit my rock bottom. I thought I hit my rock bottom many times before, but that last time was different. I felt such a strong need to change and at least see what’s on the brighter side of recovery. I wanted this more than I wanted another line. This post sums up my rock bottom and why I wanted to quit so badly: I'm done with cocaine
I was listening to these two songs at the time, which really made me feel what I was feeling which caused me to hit my rock bottom:
Basically, I was truly sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was stuck in a perpetual cycle of coke use. The last few times I used coke it would put me in this wack ass thought loop where I was like “I HAVE TO QUIT I HAVE TO QUIT!!! HOW THE FUCK DO I QUIT WHY I CANT I FIGURE THIS OUT?!”
“If you’re talking/thinking about your DOC, why does that constitute a craving?”
I definitely agree with you that I’m not always craving the drug when I think about it. I realize from what you’re saying is that: if I’m REFLECTING on why I was using coke, how I got addicted, etc that’s not necessarily a bad thing. But, if I’m thinking like “mmm cocaine” type of shit or “oh why is coke so popular” type of stuff, that would not be helpful to me.
So not all thoughts about cocaine are necessarily bad, but some can be for sure.
Thanks homie for the questions, I really appreciate it It’s actually helping me a lot to learn and work through the nightmare I was living in