Thank you friend. What you do say counts for very, very much! I promise you 
and i appreciate you and ur words of wisdom. I like ur thought process on spacing out ur calories over the next few days. I might actually try that and yes i do have to look at the positives. Progress is rarely a straight line. Its up n down and all over the place lol
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Thank u so much for ur positive energy! I needed that confidence boost tonight. Im so glad ur on this thread. Its really nice to chat with u!
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Oh love- so happy to hear you chuck out the word āshouldā
There really arent any concrete rules so being rigid will only causes guilt and most likely lead to relapses.
Im glad youve decided not to do your weigh in tomorrow. I have found that even if im doing great but then have a late dinner (not giving my metabolism time to digest it) then i put on guilt pounds if that makes sense. The guilt and anxiety of possibly gaining weight causes me to swell up and the the scale reading in the am is higher.
Do be kind to yourself. You are doing great and slowly making changes that are going to stick with you for a lifetime not rigid rules that get tossed with dieting. Ive seen your sober selfies - you are beautiful 
embrace the goddess within you. With a healthy active lifestyle the weight has no choice but to fall off. 
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Day 456
Feeling optimistic this morning! Going to get my boy on the bus and then head to grab my new preworkout then hit the gym and eat well today! Im thinking of doing a list of my reasons why i am on this health and self love journey (very similar to what i did with my drug addiction - my reasons why i quit). I will do this today to help me stay motivated. Hope everyone is doing well on their health journeys 
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Morning beautiful- lovecyour energetic attitudeā¦a list would be a fantastic idea. I may need to do this as well.
Hope you have a wonderful day. I have more energy so starting to move more (i do love to excercise and its killing me that i cant like i want)ā¦the more i move the more my body swells up - got up to 20000 steps (still not where i usually am) - did this for two days with light yoga and up 5 lbs (no other changes)ā¦im having some more tests done so hopefully ill get some answers. I just know that i have to keep my healthy diet - which has now become my lifestyle for the most part). All will fall into place soon enough
I hope everyone has a wonderful sober Monday 
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Idk if you are interested Dana, but I was struggling to find the āsomething that clicksā with my relationship to movement, food, physical body, mental image and emotions toward bodyā¦to help heal and bring wholenessā¦as I am doing on my sobriety journey. It is all a part of itā¦as you said in your OP. Anyway, I have ātriedā a million things over the years (like I did with sobriety and the rules around drinking or using or moderation, etc) to feel at home with this aspect of self. Recently I began Noom. It uses psychology to assist with the struggles we have around āall thisā. And I tell you, the readings they have daily remind me so much of my sobriety journey and reframing, acceptance, tossing shoulds, being gentle with oneself. Idk, for me it feels healing, so I wanted to share that with you.
The first week is free (or whatever you choose to donate) and then it is $175 ish for 5 months. I use the app just as I use this one and after a couple of weeks, there is a community that opens up to you as well (tho you have to kind of find your tribe thereā¦on a kind of clunky appā¦ if you are interested in that aspect of it, it isnāt 100% necessary if you are finding support here or elsewhere, but I do feel the community aspect of any healing journey is very important).
Anywayā¦wanted to share as it has felt like a solid component of learning for me.
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Hi Jasmine,
Have you been tested for Rheumatoid Arthritis? Often the more movement, the more inflammation. Unfortunately I know 1st hand, Iāve had for decades. I hope thatās not it, and you find the right diagnosis. Sending hugs 
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Thanks Maxine ā I was tested for this earlier mid last year and I did not have it at the time. Since Nov 21 iāve had many different ailments come and go and then the residual effects of the medications and treatments are still lingering. Iāve been hard to treat as it seems Iām gotten multiple ailments at the same time (doctors have been baffled but each different department treats me for that specific ailment) I finally left all the the other doctors in Sept and found my own (out of network) doctor who is not all about the medications. She has not yet tested for the Rheumatoid Arthritis so itās time to revisit. Thanks love - hope you are doing well today! I do hope you enjoyed your bowl of watermelon yesterday ā reading your post got me to the grocery store to get me some watermelon
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Ur so positive 
im hoping that some answers can be found very soon for u. 20000 steps is ALOT! WOW! Im glad ur still eating healthy too! Hppe ur day has been good so far friend!
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Thank u so much for the suggestion. I have heard of Noom and actually have heard also very good things about it. I think the only thing stopping me from doing it is the cost. But i mean since i quit using, there is some extra money lying around lol I do see the benefit of having a community strictly for that health aspect of my journey. I think it would be beneficial to check into!
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Today has been good with regards to my health. Mentally i am feeling more āstableā and much more focused. I went to get my preworkout and then stopped at the grocery store for a few things. Found these which i am super excited about lol:
Avocados i love but can never find them at the perfect ripeness lol and then watermelonā¦ well this just makes it easy to snack on. So i have a few things to help me in my snacking urges. I am realizing that being prepared is crucial for my success. If im not prepared for my hard days, i will most likely struggle alot. So Im just trying to be prepared for next time.
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That must be so frustrating for you! I do remember being misdiagnosed for several months, I even had a doctor tell me to go to a chiropractor. He did damage to my already swollen joints, I was in tears, I could barely walk. Early on, my blood work didnāt show the RA marker, but found out later, it often doesnāt in about 50% of people. They also kept thinking Lyme disease because it mimics RA, but I didnāt have the tell tale bullseye rash.
Keep trying and I hope this doc is the right one, I pray you feel relief soon! 
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Day 77 So after finding this thread yesterday (thank you Dana ), I ate some watermelon and had beef smoked sausage for dinner. That is an improvement for me, I ate real food (as much as smoked sausage is?)
I realize too, Iām very hard on myself, Iām nice to everyone else except myself. So Iām working on that.
I started my day with my last chocolate croissant, my justification is that I canāt throw it out. But then, Iāve thrown out a lot of fruit and vegetables after theyāve gone bad. And lets just say for lunch, I hit a Popeyeās Chicken pretty hard. My eating issues are similar to drinking, some is brought on by depression, loneliness & boredom. Iāve also been shopping more (again similar) the difference is I now can actually drive to the store. Before Popeyeās today, I bought myself a Bonsai (motherās day present to me) and a lemon cypress plant, both at Home Depot. Like my dog Buddy and cat Riley, Iām happy to have the plants to take care of. Plants are another new thing in my sobriety.
My goal tonight will be fruit only, still have watermelon. I have strawberrys too if they havenāt gone bad. And only good thoughts, Iām human, Iām sober and Iām a work in progress! 
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I love this post so much! U made some really good points in it that I could relate to.
I was nodding my head when i read this:
I feel this 100%ā¦ bcuz honestly i would NEVER in my wildest dreams talk to others the way i do to myself. Why are we so hard on ourselves when we are human beings too? Good point u made here.
And then this:
Yes again lol u hit the nail on the head. Im an emotional eater for sure. I used to escape feeling emotions thru drugs and im doing the same thing with food.
Sounds like uv really done some thinking and had some realizations. Im glad u shared them bcuz ya i could relate! Im so glad u got urself a mothers day gift. Happy Mothers Day by the way I love plants but i cant keep them. Well except for cactus plants bcuz i seem to accidentally kill the others one. Maybe i over or under water idk lol but they are so pretty!
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Thanks Dana, youāve always helped me early on here, so if I write anything that helps, that makes me very happy!
I talk to myself a lot, and when I called myself a loser this morning, (I think it was because I didnāt make hard boiled eggs last night, and was eating a chocolate croissant), had to ask, why do I talk to myself like that, never in a million years would I say that to anyone else, especially over food!?
But I have to laugh at myself too, I talk to Buddy & Riley (my dog and cat), and they answer. Buddy is still very nice in his replies, Riley can be a little snarky with her answers to me. 
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Thank you so much Dana - I do try to be positive as I feel the more positive energy we put into ourselves and in our surroundings the more we will generate and receive back. This is where the gratitudeās and affirmations make a whole lot of difference. I can say that it is not always an easy task but worth it.
Iāve always been an active person and on the go and my tastes except for my smoking /drinking were always super healthy. I have started eating 2-4 oz of my vegan coconut ice cream at night since I quit drinking. I am trying not to be hard on myself about this as it is way less sugar than what I was consuming while drinking.
It is just so much more stressful for me not being able to work out as I find it helps me remain focused, energized and releases so much toxicity. I am hopeful that I will be able to get back to my what my mom would call ācrazyā routine soon enough
Always nice when someone else sees you as a āpositiveā person - thank you!
Day has been decent so far - hope you are having a great day as well! Did you get around to making your list? I hope that optimism you started with this morning is still with you my friend.
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I do agree - being prepared is 100% necessary to maintain a healthy diet and routine.
Now with individual food prep Tupperware and small reusable zip lock bags available it is easier to create your daily meals / snacks and have ready so you are not tempted to crave junk food.
When we eat junk our bodies get hungrier faster as they did not get the nutrients necessary to function. We can eat less but have a balanced nutritional meal / snack and not be hungry for longer periods of time. Also note that you do need more healthy fats in you especially if you are doing a work out routine so that you donāt create problems for your bones in the future. Sorry - I feel like Iām talking like my mom and that fascinates and scares me 
So excited that melons are in season 
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Damn - iām sorry to hear that. I wish they would understand that everyone is different and will not necessarily have all the TELL TALE marks all the time. I do hope that you are being treated properly now and not in as much pain (not any if that is possible). If you arenāt already doing so the following daily supplements are very helpful for RA. Omega 3, Magnesium, D3, NAC and Ashwaganda. Iāve been doing red light therapy (purchased a belt from amazon ā cheaper than going and doing sessions). This has really helped me with overall pain management and I hear it could be good for RA. 
I know doctors are only human and Iāve repeated this over and over for past year or so trying to keep myself from wanting to cause the medical profession harm. It just is so frustrating when the people you go to for help a)canāt just come out and say āhey iām not sure - would you mind if we tried this to rule it outā b)if they act so certain about a diagnosis and dismiss you entirely then they should fucking man up and apologize when what you were screaming for all along ended up being somewhat correct and not as impossible as they assumed. Sorry - I am still working on my anger issues with the medical professionals ā can you tell? I am happier with my doctor now as she actually listens and is upfront of not knowing everything under the sun. I am grateful for her - she actually used to work for the main stream Health system but quit cause they wouldnāt let her try alternative medicines. She was the one that diagnosed and helped me out of my chronic fatigue 10 years ago. Funny how some people just find their ways back into your lives.
I just received my GI map test (this may also find the markers for RA) but mainly looking for deeper auto immune issues and possible parasites. Also a saliva hormone test - I have to set aside a not so busy day to take this one. I really canāt complain - I am doing so much better than I was before and as of August I have been able to be in public as my facial swelling and rashes on my face went away and the welts on my various areas went inward or disappeared all together so from the outside I look normal or as normal as one can be. I know this too shall pass! I have a great support system! Sorry, if I just dumped a whole bunch here -
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I completely understand!! I recently changed doctors and my new one is fantastic! I should have changed years ago and not wait until he was fired for criticizing the COVID vaccine, lol. Your symptoms donāt sound too much like RA, besides inflammation, it comes with severe exhaustion, unless youāre still having the chronic fatigue.
Whatās funny, is you said something I say, and a work friend of mine with RA also said: This too shall pass!
(Tried to quote you, but didnāt work) 
Staying positive is so important with any chronic disease. My podiatrist/foot surgeon once told me that I was so nice and positive. He said most of his RA patients were like that. I figure, whatās the alternative?
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