Yeah, I’ve done that test. I can’t remember my score but I was squarely in the under four category. Thanks for reminding me of it, though!
Yep, exactly. It only happened once but it was a wakeup call that it literally is poison. It was interesting when I was in the ER. A nurse touched me and I broke down crying, realizing it was the first time in nearly seven months anyone other than my son had touched me. She just sat with me and held my hand for awhile while I cried. When I saw the doctor, who was equally wonderful, she said that there had been a surge in ER cases just like mine – people who normally had their drinking under control but had just snapped with a major episode during social isolation.
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Wow…so we’ll said. I am a step ahead of you on the sliding scale. Still new in this journey, friends want to go out to a bar…I tell myself I’ll have a diet coke…should I just avoid the environment?
My opinion is hell yes, avoid bars until you have built some sober muscles. Why put yourself in a tempting situation so early on. Baby your self and your sobriety until you feel more confident. There will always be another opportunity to go out. Early sobriety is a time to hold tight and fast to taking care of YOU and starting new patterns and ways of living. 
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Please read my post closely. Note that I did not ask for diagnosis or comments saying that I’m in denial. Obviously I know there’s a problem – no matter what the terminology – because I’m here. Please be respectful of what I wrote, and the care with which I wrote it. Posts like yours – telling me I’m not in touch with myself – are exactly why I hesitate to join groups like this, much less post: Because it makes me feel really crappy when I share something intimate with strangers, clearly express what reactions are not helpful, fear being judged, and they do exactly what I tried to head off and judge me. Consider looking yourself in the mirror: Why do you feel compelled to say things that a stranger has expressly asked you NOT to venture? Why do you feel compelled to make the assumption – and express it – that a stranger has no self-knowledge? I don’t say this unkindly, just as a reminder to read and not be so superior and presumptuous about another person’s self-awareness.
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Not helpful. Comments like this are EXACTLY why I hesitate to join a forum like this, much less post. I was clear in my post about what I was and wasn’t looking for – and I wasn’t looking for a diagnosis or someone saying I’m just in denial. The self-righteousness of “One day, when you’re [sic] heavy drinking catches up to you, I hope you recall this conversation you’re having because you will see” is shockingly patronizing. I am a stranger to you, and trust me, I have plenty of self-awareness. Please be respectful of what people post and what they’re actually looking for, not as an opportunity to make someone feel like they are lacking in wisdom. Thanks.
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You are here and that’s what is important.
Alcoholic to me symbolises no control or choice when using alcohol which i dont believe is true.
You are either a drinker or non drinker, how much you pour down your neck is your choice. Your body and conscience will tell you
if you would be better off abstaining no diagnoses needed by 3rd party
I apologize if I came off as sounding a bit rough. That was not my intent.
Thank you for the apology. 
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If you have to ask, then you might be the latter,
I used to think the alcoholic was the stereotypical live under a bridge beg for your change outside the liquor store, nothing in your life but the sauce and a few pairs of dingy clothes.
I ended in detox after rock bottom, I believed I was just a “problem drinker that got out of control” an oil change was all I needed,
I then was informed to read a excerpt in the big book, from The doctors opinion, regarding a man of good earning capacity but enjoyed the drink, also Bills story, an excellent stock broker who drank like his liver was indestructible, both of which described me,
When I went to my first AA meeting I thought it was going to be a bunch of grumpy old men bitching about their wives. I met professionals, lawyers, doctors government employees, all of which had the same thing in common we were all habitual drunks
If alcohol effects your life negatively, but you choose to drink heavily, or you have no will power against a drink. It gives you something to think about.
Alcoholism is a disease of the mind, it’s something another can label you, but only you can decide if your an alcoholic
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