I am the same with you I can stop drinking whenever I want, I can stop basically anything if I choose to. I like certain things. I am able to not buy alcohol. I am able to not drink. I am able to say one and done. I am able to go days without booze no issue.
But that took a long time and Identifying triggers that lead to DRUNKENESS. I have erased those things from my life and by doing so I can casually drink, like one once or twice a month.
So why am I on this app? I focus on drunkenness and not on abstaining. And this app is great for cutting back on phone time, monitoring social media activity, sobriety can take many forms.
Chesterton said “Heresy is not vice over virtue but the elevation of one Virtue above all others.” We are all broken people looking to suck less a little more every day. Great post.
Love this post. Hadn’t seen you around in a while. Good to see you.
Id say your lucky if you’ve come to the realisation that it’s not for you this early in your drinking career. Some people never get that realisation and waste their while lives in drunkenness.
Just be careful not to get sucked back into it by the sly old voice that says “yeah you can have a drink it’s not like your an alchy, you quit last time with no major issues you got it under control, you’ll be fine this time itl be different” cos if you get on that carousel you’ll be trapped again in the cycle. Just my two cents.
Hey man. I feel ya. Thats a tough spot to be in. You can stop, your life seems ok, but drinking is an issue (esp in the aftermath when hungover)
Drinking can be super fun at the time too haha.
In regards to the other responses here, it IS a sobriety forum. Most of us have failed at moderation.
Ive been where you are. Other heavy drinkers will tell you youre fine, but you know you aren’t. Alcoholics tell you to stop, but you don’t want to.
Having read Sassy’s post and commented on it, I then went on to read a lot of excellent posts. Great thread, people.
For me, the distinction between alcoholic and problem drinker is the thing that stopped me from doing what I needed to do years ago. I also think that it is a huge reason that so many other people are caught in this trap.
I was always able to convince myself that I was not an alcoholic. I don’t live under a bridge. I don’t reach for a glass of sherry with breakfast. I never drink alone. I’ve never had a day off work as a result of my drinking. Etc.
In the binary, you’re either an alcoholic or you’re not sense - I always end up in the ‘not’ camp.
I have always been a binge drinker and always known that I have a difficult relationship with alcohol. I have also, for the most part, enjoyed drinking and tolerated the downsides because they just came with the territory.
Realising that problem drinking is actually a sliding scale, ranging from people who have never touched alcohol, to people who are completely addicted has helped me a great deal.
I can now recognise that I am much closer to the completely addicted end of the scale than I am to the never touched alcohol end, and that I move further up that scale with each passing year.
This has also helped me to recognise that I don’t need to be a fully fledged alcoholic for it to be having an adverse effect on my health, both mental and physical, my relationships, and my financial status.
As someone who does (did) still enjoy drinking, I definitely felt like I was giving something up at first, and wondered whether I was doing so unnecessarily since I wasn’t an actual alcoholic in the first place. The voice in my head used that argument on me a lot.
The fact is though, as time has passed and I’ve got a bit of sober time under my belt, all of that has become irrelevant. Having spent a reasonably significant amount of time without it, and having critically observed my life without it in that time, I have come to the conclusion that overall, life is just better without alcohol.
Yes, it is. And labels.
And at the end of the day, to me, they don’t matter. I need to just be concerned with NOT drinking.
I think I would have said I was just a heavy drinker 15 years ago. Somewhere between then and now I transitioned from heavy drinker to alcoholic.
I was a frog in a pot of water on a burner. I swam around thinking I was fine, until it became too hot, but I was too comfortable to realize, then it was too late, I became food.
So if you want to meet people like you, we were all like you, once upon a time ago.
I’ve bookmarked this. Good post.
Never thought about it like this, great explanation
A few months into sobriety I think I ended up using the term alcoholic on here because it felt more real like ok this is a big problem that can’t be ignored anymore but IRL I usually define myself using terms like “I’m sober” or “I’m in recovery”.
I guess if I was going to really define the way I used to drink, it would be “binge drinker”. It doesn’t really matter though for me personally, I just can’t drink anymore and I’m comfortable admitting that.
I’m glad I gave sobriety a shot for longer than a few months. Some of the best gifts of sobriety have taken a couple of years to happen. I know the real miracles are yet to come.
I define an alcoholic as
“A person who is unable to moderate their drinking and their life has become affected in some way”
I’d deem my parents to be alcoholic as a they are unable to go more than a week without drinking and associate “fun” and “relax” to involve alcohol
I’m just a worse type of alcoholic who cannot stop when they start and need to drink daily
Whereas my wife can go a month without drinking, when she drinks she has maybe 2 drinks… unimaginable for me
I dont think it really matters. Im i a heavy drinker or a alcoholic? its just a label but fact is its getting me in trouble. It ruins friendships and relationships i do stupid things and i cant stop when i start. Thats something i dont want, do i wanna drink just for fun? Yes can i stop when its still fun? No so its a problem.
My father is a classic alcohlic but sees himself as a heavy drinker and doesnt see the problems it cost. The most important thing is that i wanna life different so i decided to accept the problem and stopped drinking. I tried to manege but i cant. So either way im not a normal drinker. I dont think that a label is gonna change that. Only i can change the problems i have
I used to think an alcoholic was a scruffy unshaven bloke who drank vodka and slept rough. Then I became that bloke.
Through sobriety I pulled it back though. All I know now is that I’m a non-drinker.
I never thought I was an alcoholic, never wanted to admit it, it’s a disease of denial.
This might help. Would be interested in hearing your score if you wanna share. Mines 12/12, but I treat the questions as has it ever happened rather than did it happen today or this week or last week or last month or last year.
https://www.aa.org/pages/en_us/is-aa-for-you-twelve-questions-only-you-can-answer
Heavy drinking could be a one off episode, a sign of early stages of alcoholism, or full blown alcoholism. Heavy drinking in of itself isn’t alcoholism, alcoholism is alcoholism, which usually involves heavy drinking. Chances are if you think you have a problem, in some way shape or form, you have a problem 
I’m past the point of return, my drinking is a beautiful alcoholic disaster. I’m in no denial of my alcoholism I’m only 26 and it’s been presented to be on a platter.
Perhaps your early stages are reversible and manageable.
“ Professor Doug Sellman, Director of the National Addiction Centre at the Christchurch School of Medicine, is not at all surprised by the American research showing fairly low rates of alcohol dependency even for high-risk drinkers, but he says it comes down to definitions. The term ‘alcohol dependence’ has meant different things over time according to the diagnostic criteria being applied. In the latest handbook for psychiatric disorders, the new term is the much broader ‘alcohol use disorder’, but whatever the label, Professor Sellman says the underlying problem of excessive drinking remains the same.
“I think we have a similar profile to the United States. The issue is the extent of heavy drinking in both countries and virtually all other Western countries.”
A pattern of hazardous drinking is hard to break regardless of whether it has reached the point where drinking becomes compulsive and can be termed an addiction, he says”
That’s it, right there! Just wanting different is enough, without any label. I have found that many who attempt to categorize, are just looking for a reason to keep drinking - seeking affirmation and justification. I don’t use the label alcoholic but I acknowledge I have a REALLY unhealthy relationship with alcohol. I drink far less than I did in the past. I decreased QUANTITY but changed the REASON I drink. It used to be “fun and relaxing” and now, I use it to shut down and numb out.
@Megs66 All I know is: If there is a time you are hospitalized due to alcohol consumption, what you call yourself really doesn’t matter. It’s time to get real with the fact that alcohol is poisoning you - like puking for two days poisoning you.