In December I decided to be a idiot and have a beer after my work week. One of the worst decisions i ever made. Well the sober place i was staying at didnt like that much…
Got kicked out, had to dish out 300 bucks for 1 night in a hotel so i wouldn’t freeze to death.
Had to quit my awesome new job.
Left Vermont and went to Austin TX, then to Bend Oregon and lastly here, at the Grand Canyon.
I took a job working for a kitchen at the Grand Canyon. Its the worst job i ever had in my life.
Living here sucks. All there is, unless you have a car, is the restaurant i work at and a general store. Food and items in general are outrageously expensive. The booze is fair priced though.
I drank everyday the month of February. Heavily.
I drank on st paddies day and decided that’s gonna be my last time. I literally cant fuck my life up anymore.
Im leaving this hell hole and heading back to Vermont. The only state i like so far, with the best resources to get back on my feet. Follow the shelter rules, keep my head down, and save money. I already have my old security job waiting for me, unfortunately i wont be able to go back to my awesome nursing home job though.
Wherever you go, there you are. If every place is a problem, the problem is not the place, right? When I committed 100% to sobriety, my circumstances no longer mattered. I can be sober anywhere under any condition, if I am willing to practice some simple daily things.
Ok, glad you have a job to return to. Hope you will find a place to stay as well? Is there a chance to return to the sober house? I do not know the rules they have for them.
Are you planning to go to AA ore something simulair to help you?
Vermont definitely offers resources for those seeking to change their lives. I hope you can make the changes it sounds like you want. My old boss is an old timer at AA meetings up there.
I said the same thing in the beginning. Those kind people at meetings taught me God can be anything I want it to be and doesn’t have to be religious. I found nature to be my god. Knowing I couldn’t stay sober by myself and there aren’t other convenient options in my area, I decided to stick with AA. Now, whenever I hear the word god, I substitute it in my head with nature.
Many in the rooms will tell you the acronym G.O.D can stand for Good Orderly Direction or Group of Drunks. Once I got past this one word, it opened a whole new recovery world for me. Without open mindedness and willingness, you’ll find yourself right back where you started.
AA is not the only program out there. Have you considered SMART, Dharma or any of the others? Here’s a link: Resources for Recovery
Have you tried going thru SMART? They have a free intro handbook on Kindle if you have Kindle unlimited. There is no god talk. And I checked and they have online meetings like all day every day. I read the handbook and found it helpful by itself but if you prefer a community that could help.