I want to come off coke without help from doctors.
**How do I stop myself from crashing and come off safely?
Someone please help this is my second attempt and the first time I thought I was going to have a mental and physical breakdown. 
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Doctor patient confidentiality is fundamental in most countries including USA, Canada, UK, etc. why wouldnāt you tell your doctor? Who are they going to tell? Youāre their patient.
Their job is literally to help you be healthy, which is what you want, right?
Itās hard to recover and keep secrets 
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Iāll be honestā¦ it was tough for me (but not impossible). My DOC was Crack cocaine. I would struggle to get past 3 days clean. I really had to take care of myself and do alot of self care (so if I was hungryā¦ eat, tiredā¦ sleep etc). Meetings helped to stay recovery focused. I also had to change a few things. Delete numbers, avoid people who use, change my daily habits, start doing new healthier things (I took up exercise and mew hobbies). Itās hard bcuz emotions and obsessive thinking for wanting to use, just roar their ugly heads the first week or so (at least it did for me). Ur body has to go thru that withdrawal. I had to stay close and stay connected to other recovering addicts. U can do this! Itās tough but itās sooo worth it
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Do I not just stay in bed and sleep it off? The fear of going out gives me major anxiety and I feel like Iām crashing big time itās awful. Iāve done this 3 weekends in the past 6 weeks but relapsed because of the severity of the come down.
It was awful.
Am I best taking gabapentin and sleeping and eating then getting through the worst of it?
Well done you for getting through this I really donāt know how you did it, hat off to you, Iām a mess atm.
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Honestly it took many many tries. Iāve been using for 22 years (not all crack but various drugs) and I think Iāve just learned over all those relapses what not to do and what I need to do. The trouble is that I knew what to do, but I couldnāt follow thru. The big one was thinking I could do this alone. Thereās online mtgs (I use the Intherooms app), and TS of course. U gotta reach out before u use, not after. Itās so crucial to stop that addictive thinking when it 1ST starts. U can do this! The beginning sucksā¦ it really does. Tell that voice to āshut upāā¦ literally I used to say it out loud lol
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They are interacting with The father of my child. He nearly murdered me.
Thatās why I used coke as a crutch.
No excuse but I did.
I canāt tell anyone I just have to get off it. I have to for my daughter.
Heās manipulating everyone and lying to everyone so if I tell my doctor they will have to put it in a report that goes to court and even though heās beating my daughter no one believes her they think sheās making it up and playing us off against each other when she is not.
Heās a narcissist and a gold domestic perpetrator but heās very convincing and a very good liar and I donāt want him getting my daughter so I need to sort this out and come off it completely. Sheās not here for a week.
So every week that sheās not here I try to come off it.
I donāt take it whilst she is with me, I am high though but I am composmentis when I have her in my care.
It doesnāt matter how I sugar coat it.
I just want it out of my life forever.
Sheās the only reason I live and exist and the most important person in the world.
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I need too try, I cave in every time. Iāve been at this for 10years with a break in between of 11months and a 3week break, but that was cos I had no choice lol.
I need that right now.
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Have u ever thot of writing down ur reasons for quitting? And what happens when u use (being broke, no food, being behind on rent and bills, guilt and shame, physical withdrawl etcā¦ that sort of thing)? Sort of like a reminder. I took this paper with me everywhere. I had pictures of people also who relied on me to be clean. Anything for motivation to break me out of that thinking. We must āplay the tape to the endā. Meaning donāt stop at the āgood timesā or what we think drugs will do for us. Play that tape to the end when u havent slept for days and havent eaten, when mental health is suffer and ur physically hurting. The reality is, is that drugs serve no purpose. The idea that drugs do something for us, is a completely lie. Itās a lie in our mind. Ur stronger than u think. Drugs may have a hold but u CAN break this. U just gotta do things differently 
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Thatās a hard space. It sounds like he is manipulating the situation and taking advantage of your addiction. I can see why you want it gone 
Sounds good. As Dana said above, you canāt do it alone; you need support from people who understand recovery. Talking Sober is a good place - the checkin thread is helpful for many people Checking in daily to maintain focus #44 - and there are also online meetings for NA and at InTheRooms:
https://meetings.intherooms.com/
For InTheRooms, tap Find a Meeting then choose the Narcotics Anonymous fellowship.
Meetings are anonymous so thereās no reports and no records, just recovery.
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Iād try and get away from it all if you can for a little while somewhere out in nature. Only from personal experience can I say how good it does me to get out in the woods or near the sea suddenly external highs are not so tempting. Stay strong
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I feel you there. I refuse to go through anything that could be a required reporter bc of my kids. I have been able to stop before. My reason for using is impulsive behavior and self harm because of significant trauma. The trauma that has been happening in my life since May 2020 is unbelievable. My biggest trigger when I am clean are bathrooms. To get through the hardest part I sleep and make sure to take all my psychic meds.
I hope for strength for you in the coming days. It is an inner strength you need. I am doing it because my children deserve a better me. I was thinking a few nights ago that I am not the only one going through trauma. The kids are too. If they can cope with out yeyo, then I believe I am going to strive got it too.
Hope my ramblings can help some.
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Iām in bed now, Iāve dosed up on all my meds and been weaning off that by taking little tiny keys every 5hrs so I donāt crash and taking 100mg of sertraline and just taken 600mg of pregablin. Unsure whether to take a diazipam. Iāve no kids til Monday 6pm. So Iām thinking sleep till then and hopefully I can get through the withdrawals. I just donāt wNt it to show when I pick my child up. Iām so scared itās giving me major panic attacks 
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Itās awful ptsd. I feel you babe. You got this.
I just hope I can be as strong as you are xx
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Reset again. Everyday is a struggle, everyday Iām using, everyday, Iām scared, everyday I want to die, everyday I hope for a better life than this, everyday I hope to walk out my door without the constant anxiety.
I just want to live without this in my life, an have a relationship and a family environment but I canāt let anyone in and I canāt repair myself and my mind and I canāt seem to say no to the inner demon that Iām at a constant battle with.
This is torture.
Two things here
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Dr patient confidentiality, they cannot submit your chart as a ārecord against youā as it would infringe on your privacy as a patient, your doctor would lose his practice as well as be faced with civil if not criminal lawsuits
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The mandated reporter thing, that only implies if a child was purely in danger, if you took your child to the doctor cause of physical abuse, or told your doctor that you were giving your daughter cocaine, well thatās a different story.
I think you need to do some research as it appears your kids father has convinced you otherwise for his control.
I donāt know what country your in, but almost all developed countries have much stricter laws than you can believe regarding patient privacy, unless this guy is treating you in a backroom somewhere his chummyness wirh your ex is probably not worth losing everything over.
In perspective, one of the groups im doing music work for the front man is a doctor, I was at his clinic last week diagnosed with pneumonia. He didnāt treat me, but we chatted and I said you can let them know I wonāt be at the session tomorrow, he explained to me why he canāt, and that if o shoot a message in the group saying I canāt make it due to illness, then itās ok
Also you have the right to see another physician, as far as medication, follow the instructions as designed no one here can give you medical advice on how to safely detox, there are quite a few of us with medical training, but without physically seeing a patient, itās way to dangerous and we donāt play WebMD