Hello it’s my first day. Im 30 years old, overweight, 5ft,8 I’m desperate to fix my bad bad habits of smoking/vaping/porn/masturbation…it’s damaging me beyond what I can even comprehend/handle. I feel like my brain is hot tv static idk how to explain it. I feel like my heart is pounding, I want to be able to touch my wife and feel aroused again, I feel like I’m loosing my mind and emotions. I want to quit, I feel like I’m going to loose my mind or go to a crazy house for my depression, anxiety and other emotions that I feel I’m confusing. As you can see I’m a mess, the way I’m texting this is messy. I just want to get everything out. I Want to experience being healthy again. Strong, confident, I ask my wife of how I used to be and can I come back? I was smoking and quit before but now all of these of these other problems got added on for bad decisions please if you have similar issues to what I have…and is committed and days ahead of me please…I feel like I’m going crazy.
Your not going to be able to change through anyone else. You have to want to do it for yourself. Just take a deep breath and take it one moment at a time. Trust im sure we have all felt that way before but it to shall pass.
Thank you for responding. I know what you’re saying but it’s more of the sense of communication, as in through you (your experience). It’s been close to 1hr since I’ve stopped looking at porn and the urge to smoke my vape that’s in my pocket…
Well my experience is certainly different than yours. I went 6 months last year. My doc or vices are Coke, alcohol, and weed as well as nicotine but not ready to give it up yet. I have a lot going against me…ptsd, lgtbq (living currently with parents that are anti-lgbtq). I’m also early on this time but have a pre employment test coming up for a new job and that is what is forcing me to give up for now but even after that dont wanna go back. 31 now abs that 6m last year is the longest I’ve gone in the last 10 years. I guess take what you can from this information lol.
Thank you. I can’t stand myself when I watch porn now. I feel like my brain gets all agitated, like if someone injected some kind of liquid with little needles idk how to express that feeling.
I was exposed to porn when i was really young and so used it as a coping mechanism throughout my teens and 20’s. It severely affected my view of sex and my intimate connections with my girfriends, and honestly how i quit my porn addiction was viewing my habits as an addiction and then deleting any accounts i had on websites i frequented, i delted my libraries, i threw out my dvds and old magazines. I just completely avoided pornographic content, and over time whenever i needed that dopamine dump i used a coping skill to replace the masturbation. It improved my relationship with my ex, i was able to concentrate all of my sexual energy and focus towards her and enjoy her in a new way. I hope this helps, and you’re able to make healthy changes in your life, but it’s going to take work and real discipline
I’m trying to find ways to substitute these urges, I know it’s gonna be hard.
Yes it will, but it gets easier with time. Fwit, im proud of you.
There are certainly a lot of things you you can do. Play a game, watch another form of videod like movies,tv, YouTube, go for a walk in the park, find, a hobby, whatever else you enjoy doing.
First, welcome to Talking Sober. Regardless of the drug or behavior of choice, we’ve all been caught in the shame spiral of using, regret and self loathing and the negative self talk. Part of my path to getting sober was to focus on just one thing at a time and do what I could about it in the moment.
AA meetings helped me tremendously, for the sense of belonging and acceptance, and the structured program of recovery. And I could not recover with a beer in my pocket. Get rid of your vapes, your dope, and any street cobtacts you have for pot.
You have a lot to unpack. Do what is in front of you, that’s what they told me when I was spazzing out about my legal trouble and my marriage trouble and my job trouble and trying to not drink through it. And it helped, it really did,to consciously ignore the things I could not change at that moment.
Blessings on your house 
as you begin your journey.
Welcome to Talking Sober @Rem164 , you’ve made a good choice to seek support here. There are plenty of threads with people tackling various addictions, at different sobriety stages, who have stories and advice that may resonate with you. What you’re going through sounds tough. Know that you can reach out here for advice, support or even a lighthearted chat whenever you feel the need. What have you tried to address your need for your addictions? Counselling, therapy or talking with a trusted person to deal with underlying issues is a great step for long term, effective sobriety. Joining AA or SMART meetings are recommended methods for strengthening your resolve to fight addiction. And as you know, it is a battle. But, one you can arm yourself with the skills to keep fighting. A question that I have found helpful to ask myself is “What would you tell a friend to do, if they came to you for support with the addictions you are facing?”. It helps to reflect on this. There is no quick fix, but tackling addiction one minute, hour, day at a time will eventually build momentum towards your goals. Keep up the good fight, we are here with you!
I haven’t gone to therapy and I haven’t done anything about it, I’m struggling with a lot. I’m just trying to quit cold turkey, but it’s so hard. I’m afraid to go out to thugs like that because it’s gonna be a reminder daily for me. I’m trying. It’s so hard. Currently watching a romance movie and it’s hard to be in the moment
Yoo, you’re not alone on this one. Like I’ve said in a previous post, sex and porn went really well with my DOC (drug of choice). If your having trouble quitting cold turkey, as I’m pretty sure you are. Try setting days during the week where you dont do it. For example…dont watch porn on Monday and Thursday. Little by little keep adding days to that. Do the same thing with the vape. Thats the way I stopped. Your body will slowly but surely get used to this. Look, I’m not trying to push religion on you or anything…but when I get the urge to do the deed, I pick up the bible and read a randon page or two. After that I feel better. If your smoking high nicotine vapes you can also try patches from the pharmacy. Good luck on your journey man. Its difficult because its worth it. Nothing good comes easy…nothing.
How long has it been for you? It’s 5:40am on my side. The hardest part which scares me is when I’m alone. It hasn’t been a solid 24 hours for me yet without watching porn or smoking. I would like to give this a try. But I also want to hear more from anyone and everyone. When I was sober when I quit the first time I still had hidden urges, I wished I never bought these damn things…I wish I found this page when I first started.
A bit over 5 years. If anything I see these girls on instagram and they really trigger me. So I try to avoid them. The urge will be there. You just have to learn to cope. Try different things. Go hike, walk, play videogames. Anything really. Just get your mind of the girls or whatever it is your into. I wish you the best of luck my friend. PM me if you need to talk.
Hello everyone, it hasn’t been a full day but I’m trying to distract myself, I talked to my wife’s mom about how other people are stressed and her experience. Talking helps and texting my loved ones. I can’t help but cry, I’ve always been an emotional person. I often convince myself that I’m worthless and other bad thoughts. Constantly thinking of worst case scenario’s. I want therapy but idk if I should do AA for smokers, I’m gonna delete all the porn I have, I still have the vape in my pants pocket, it’s so hard to let that thing go but I haven’t used it since the time of my first post, I talked to my brothers and confessed my problem. I want to smoke but I’m telling myself I’m not a smoker no more. For those who quit successfully. What do you do? Plans? Tips and tricks? I’m desperate. Only because I know I wanna change but it’s not gonna happen over night. I’m constantly regretting my decision and still look into the past. My worst habit is being my own worst enemy, I can’t ever accept a compliment there’s so much more but my mind is scattered with wanting to use the vape and everything else. If you know any good therapy locations in NYC. Please tell me. Idc anymore I wanna change
Im glad you are taking steps in the right direction, but if you’re serious about change your actions have to reflect your words. Delete all the porn you have, don’t hold yourself back. This will be easy once you begin the process and you’ll feel a weight lifted off your shoulders once you do it. As for the vape, if you’re addicted to the nicotine then you can always try patches or the gum, lozenges, etc. Plus they have cool new products like smokeless inhalers you can buy to replace the vape with. Look those up if you’ve never heard of them
I told my wifes mom, my dad, my brothers, what has been going on. I told my wifes mom that my wife knows about my smoking, please don’t tell her I told you. I spoke to my dad and broke down in tears because I feel like I failed him. I told my brothers in an individual text what’s been goin on, how I’m feeling. I hate myself and the urge to kill my self is pretty strong. I don’t want to, I keep checking in here for the stories of people who quit and they start over, I don’t wanna be negative but I really hate what I’ve done, I hate how all have this mouse wheel we have to carry with us. I wish all of us luck. I’ve been crying a lot lately and I’m a grown man. I hate it, I know I need therapy but I feel like my therapist who ever it may be, is gonna need a therapist because of me. I haven’t been on my walk yet, is it normal to feel cold shivers or just feel cold when you’re not smoking?
I’m a suicide survivor and i promise you that self harm is NEVER the answer. It won’t make your situation better, in fact it just guarantees things can’t get better. Please seek out help immediately if you’re having strong urges to hurt yourself because you have so many people around you that love you and would rather accept your flaws and help you through your struggles than have to deal with the life long heartbreak of losing you from self harm. No matter how bad you may feel about yourself, the people around you will love you until you’re able to love yourself, i promise.
I urge to seek immediate medical attention for your suicidal ideation and overwhelmingly negative thoughts. Your posts read like you are in a lot of pain that goes far beyond wanting to stop vaping. Nicotine is a highly addictive substance but you can beat it. Some people find it easier to slowly taper. Either way, it’s not worth your life. That’s priceless.
You are a good person who deserves to live a happy and peaceful life and you deserve to look after your mental health. Is there anyone with you right now? You shouldn’t be alone.