Hello here I am for the 100th try just got off a week bender and today is day one. All I can do is cry and be so ashamed of the things I’ve been doing I can’t seem to beat this horrible cycle of alcoholism I call my life I know what I have to do is just not drink but that seems so hard and impossible I have lost everything including my job I feel so hopeless and lost
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Welcome back! You don’t fail until you stop trying. Read around and see how others have done it. Glad to have you with us.
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Welcome back and well done on Day 1. I can see how hopeless you feel at the moment but you are taking the power back. Have you got a plan in place?
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I don’t have anything planned I feel lost only plan is don’t drink. Maybe AA
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Well not drinking is a good plan, well done for making that step. I am not experienced with AA so hopefully someone else can come along and guide you through. I think you need a plan in place to support you as willpower alone is really tough. Stick around here and keep talking
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What kind of plan?
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Like people to support me? No I’ve been a really shitty person to the people I care about
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You can do this ,love and strenth sent to you
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If Sobriety is what you desire what are you doing on a daily basis to get outside support for it?
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Hi Angelica, I understand the pain and shame and heart-breaking regret. It’s like shattering everything that matters, your self respect and your respect for others. It is devastating.
There is help.
Inpatient rehab would likely help. It would help you get dry so that you can get your feet on the ground and make better choices. Find a program at www.FindTreatment.gov - ask for help if you need it; don’t be shy. You have nothing to lose in asking for help.
A group recovery program would help too. AA is one - here are options near Clovis CA: Find A.A. Near You (North America) | Alcoholics Anonymous - and you could also try programs like Celebrate Recovery (Christian focus) or SMART Recovery (psychology focus). Search them up and you will find meetings near you.
Just go. Just go. What do you have to lose? Ask for help from family even if they don’t believe in you. (Again, what do you have to lose?) Search like someone looking for water in the desert. This is life or death.
You’re a good person Angelica. You are, I promise. You can find your path with search and with effort, one day, one hour at a time, and when you do, you will find your peace and happiness, booze-free.
Here’s some more resources:
Monterey Bay CA has a whole bunch of meetings with young people:
“Young people in AA” - nineteen people ages 16-27 share how they got sober in AA
Some residential treatment centres:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/treatment-rehab/california?category=young-adult-residential
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Welcome back Angelica
Just don’t give up trying! you can beat this addiction – we just can’t do it alone.
in your previous attempts - what have you tried? are you able to recall what helped?
If you can - join a meeting and get a sponsor or try a recovery group. IRL support is very important. I feel like this site and the support here is more than enough for me but i have to stay super connected to this site for it to be useful.
At this moment - are you able to consider rehab?
I am grateful that you are back and working on breaking this cycle. We are here with you – keep strong 
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I FEEL YOU. I have reached my 7 day mark and this week has been a huge roller coaster of feelings that I’m not fond of. I spent the first 2 entire days and nights feeling guilt and shame. The insomnia, anxiety & depression was torture. But I’m sticking with it because I deserve to be treated better by myself. YOU DO TOO. I fortunately have a couple of loved ones who give me mad support. But this community right here saved me this week for sure. I don’t think i would’ve made it through those sleepless nights without these strangers. Stay on here. All day long, all night long. Online meetings are not the same as in person but those also helped a lot. Alcohol sucks. It’s stolen enough of our lives. Keep that in your mind.
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Thank u for the kind words. Means a lot I’m going to start searching. Thank you
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I haven’t started yet. Just trying to make it through the withdrawals
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Id do anything to be on day 7 but I’m on day 2 and I have no desire too drink but that changes with time. I will keep trying and be on here as much as possible
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Hi Angelica! Great job not giving up and reaching out for support. I tried quitting alcohol several times and felt discouraged and like my life wouldn’t be “fun” anymore, until this time around when I listened to the audiobook ‘This Naked Mind’ by author Annie Grace. I can’t stress how helpful this was for me- she teaches you how to change your underlying beliefs/subconscious about alcohol so that you can avoid drinking because you genuinely don’t want to anymore rather than just trying to tough it out with willpower and feeling FOMO. She also has a free podcast on Spotify by the same name. You can do this! There’s great support here and lots of advice, perspectives, and different approaches.
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Try not to become too overwhelmed with talk of AA and sponsors ECT. Just ride this one out for a few days when you are over the initial few days things will settle. Start a little few notes in your phone on how you are feeling and where you want to be tomorrow and next week. Not 12 months time… hours and days that’s all you need right now.
This message board is great. Commit to come here every morning for 30 days and see how it goes.
I have only short time.also so don’t think everyone here has long term. We’re all in the same boat here.
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I feel you, I don’t have a massive support network however have found that there are many other resources too!
A great book for me was “The unexpected joy of being Sober” I really recommend reading it.
There are many books and YouTube videos to help, plus things like online meetings (I’ve not done them but it’s so great to know they’re an option!)
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How’s it going Angelica? Have you visited one of those meetings? Did you recognize yourself in the stories of getting sober?
I’m going to go to a meeting tomorrow. I’ve just been focusing on going through the withdrawals which is really tough. But I plan on going to a in person meeting tomorrow. Thank u for checking in.
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