How many restarts is too many? Am I just bullshitting myself that I can do this?
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How have you been trying to do this have you just been white knuckling it or are you working a recovery programme 
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I reset everyday for weed but one day could be the day. it would be easy not to press it but you gotta be honest to yourself or what’s the point.
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And a recovery program can encompass so many things. You may find this thread useful with some suggestions on where to find support, suggestions, information…
Focus on not drinking today. You can do this!
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I’m seriously white knocking it and seriously miserable.
Maybe look in to working a programme, I can honestly tell you that I never had any substitute success until I surrended myself to the programme that is NA. We can’t expect to just not pick up our doc,s that just doesn’t work and clearly isn’t doing in your case. What do you have to lose by trying one of the Kent recovery programmes we have all recommended to you, I’ll tell you what you stand to lose if you dl don’t —+ your life.
Five people that I used to use drugs with have died from overdoses in the past 18 months, I don’t like my odds of I had carried on using. 
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Find some type of program. It can be IOP, AA, SMART, Refuge Recovery, substance abuse therapy, and many more. AA is the most readily available, but if you want to put a little more work into it, there are options. Have you ever been to a meeting?
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I had not heard of this. But I do think about what changed in my thought pattern when this happens, when did I give in. It’s almost like I black out without even having started to drink.
I tell myself that. But I feel life is passing me by. I see other LIVING, and I am just existing one bottle to another.
We perceive other people as living these fantastic activity and fun filled lives bit they aren’t really. You can live a fantastic life yourself and it starts with sobriety which takes as little work, work that we cannot do ourselves unfortunately.
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But you keep trying, and that’s more than a lot can say. You miss 100% of the balls you don’t swing at, keep swinging because it only takes 1 to send it out of the park.
I’d recommend a program that has people in, going through the same shit like mentioned above. AA, Celebrate Recovery, SMART, IOPs led by a substance abuse counselor. Get into the middle of a herd of folks fighting for sobriety, lean on them, let them lean on you.
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Keep trying. You never know which time will stick. Try something more, or different, because if you keep doing what you’ve done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve gotten.
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as many as you need. invest in yourself you wont regret it
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All the people that have helped me here have certainly not done it in vain. Because of the support here I reached over a month sober, which I couldn’t have imagined. I hope no one sees my struggles as me not taking this seriously.
My life is engulfed in alcohol. It’s all I can think about once I get out of work. Then I am black out driving/walking to a liquor store. Sometimes I make it home without stopping, and at 10pm will get up put on clothes and run before the liquor store closes.
I am just struggling.
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I understand. I had to keep trying for a long time before my quit stuck. Never give up trying. I can read in your posts your desire and hard work…we know it isn’t easy…but it is worth it…YOU are worth it.
FWIW, I too would pass out, wake up and head to the liquor store, black out drive home. Or come to in the parking lot.
Keep reading, posting, doing what works for you to build your sober muscles. 
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I know those thoughts well. I would be oscar the grouch all day long, til like 45 minutes before I got off because I knew I’d have that booze in me soon. It was like I was predrunk with the thought of getting drunk soon.
Most of us have endured the same struggle. Keep struggling, keep trying. Doing things out of your comfort zone will help you grow, if you don’t want to do it, you probably should when it comes to sobriety or changing any habit really.
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I’m new here but have been around it most my life. Please keep trying! You’ll be so glad you went through the fire and got on the other side Yulie. It’s there for the taking… I’m sending you strength and a big hug!
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@Sweetlillove you can do this!!! One day, one minute one second one breath at a time… reach out we are all struggling in one way or another and here for all of us thru it all!
@anon79808082 it is sooo good to see you helping others even thru your struggles! I’m glad you didn’t give up.
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Thanks @CaptAZ you are always u understanding. I wont give up because giving up means death for me. Or hatred from my son one day if not already. I will not drink today. I am meeting. Friend I haven’t seen in 2 years so I am nervous.
But I will conquer.
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