I’ve been a heavy drinker since my early 20’s. I’m now 52. I’ve had 4 years sober in my 30’s and 8 years sobriety until this last October. My mother passed away in October and I drank the night she died. My wife of 24 years served me divorce papers in February. I felt I lost both of the woman in my life and I went down the path of self destruction. Just received a DUI..my 4th and lost my job. I am 4 days sober today and trying my best to stay positive and look forward to better times. My soon to be ex wife hasn’t talked to me since filing for divorce and that hurts me so very much. I am trying my best to deal with the loss of marriage and the loss of my mom. I just found this app and I think it’s amazing! I am happy to be here 
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Welcome Segal,
Glad you found us. Sorry about the circumstances that brought you here. I could never get and stay sober until I got some good support with knowledge. I tried on my own and it never happened.
Have a good read around. Join in when you’re comfortable.
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Sorry your having a hard time maybe try a meeting might help helped me wish you well
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You’re really going through a tough time and so am I, I have been focusing on helping others and staying out of my head. the gym has helped me a lot, and trying to tell myself i’ll be better when i get through all this s***.
tell yourself you can get through this, you kinda have to get through it, what other option do we have? So, let’s make the best of it. embrace the difficulty and learn from it, then when someone you know is going through something similiar you can be there to help that person. let the situation(s) have purpose and meaning and look forward to being an improved version of yourself, that’s what I’ll be doing from now on, instead of thinking woe is me ya know?
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Welcome 
Im sorry u have had a lot on ur plate the last while. Grief is a difficult emotion to manage. If we dont have healthier coping skills, its very easy to return to what we know… using substances. My condolences to u friend 
I am impressed tho at ur previous sobriety time! Im wondering what had worked for u in the past? Are there things u can incorporate into ur daily recovery routine now to help u? Have u ever attended a 12 step meeting (AA)? They are also a great support. I attended in-person for many, many years and then as of recently started doing online meetings instead.
Even with everything going on in ur life, u can and do deserve to live happy, healthy, and free. Wake up each morning with the intention to stay sober 
Do all the things u need to do to stay sober for today! Reach out whenever u have the urge to drink. Let us help u thru it
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Thank you! I am committed to getting through this and coming out better from the experience. I appreciate the advice!!
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Thank you! The periods of sobriety that I had were just really from working on myself and family. I went back drinking very hard when these events happened and was not engaged with a sober program or community. I’m doing my best now to change those things so when life happens I have some tools and support. I really appreciate your kindness and support
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That is a lot to be going on. 
Dealing with a divorce, job hunting, legal admin, etc, all need energy and clarity, which you only get from being sober. Dig deep, do the next right thing, and hopefully your life will start to improve.
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this too shall pass
one day at a time
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Are you done yet? Tired of hurting, yes. Anxious and fearful of consequences, yes. But done?
This was one of the hardest questions I had to answer for myself. What changed for me was that I finally surrendered to the idea of being sober with no clear picture of what that would look like. For me, the surrender with ambiguity as to what it really was, that was the thing. I finally got beat down enough times and badly enough by the booze that I did not care what sobriety was going to be, I just knew it would be better than the wretched mess I was in my head and my soul. And I knew, mostly subconsciously, that everything was gonna be alright.
What I did from the beginning was to protect the tiny spark of sobriety in me and to grow it day by day. I got on Antabuse, went back to my drug and alcohol counselor and followed her advice, and went back to AA and followed their suggestions - without question. It was clear to me that these people knew how to stay sober and I did not, so my protesting about “not being a group kind of guy” or wanting to do the hard work of honest self-examination, those had to go right out the window.
It’s easy to be motivated to stay away from the painful consequences and drama when they are fresh and still occurring. It’s tougher to put that into action day by day, and to trust the process.
The great good news is that if a 5 time DUI loser like me can get sober, so can you.
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Thank you! YES I am done allowing myself to think anything will change for the better without sobriety. I totally agree that anything is better than how I currently feel. Thank you so much for your support and help.
Hiya Mike, you’ve came to the right place. Lets do this!
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