Hi AJ, welcome!
It sounds like you have a precious gift: clarity. The stakes are absolutely clear for you right now. Not many people have it this clear in life.
It’s time to be humble and own your life, your problem, and your future. You’ve been avoiding it for years. Owning up will be scary and you will want to run to booze. But instead you’ll turn to your AA sponsor, or your other sober community supports, and you’ll grow new ways of coping.
Keep an open mind, don’t leave any stone unturned - go to meetings (real or virtual); I mean, is it worth losing your wife just because you’re nervous about meetings? No, of course not - and never ever give up.
Welcome to your future. It is - I am not kidding - infinitely better than your past.
Check back in here! Looking forward to hearing about your progress. Here’s a thread of sole resources to explore:
Resources for our recovery