Hey Pickles!! Love the name!
If you have a desire to stop drinking then absolutely you belong!!
From what you’ve written, you realize that something is not quite right and that seems to make you uncomfortable. I think a lot of people have a hard time coming to terms with their relationship to alcohol, I know I did. As far as being an alcoholic, that’s up to you to decide, and regardless of what you decide, it doesn’t make your decision to quit any more or less valid. Whether you are getting drunk every day, weekend binge drinker or just glass of wine a day, quitting is the easy part, it’s the learning to cope and navigate this life without alcohol that is the hard part, and that’s what we’re here for.
Welcome!