This is the second time I have tried quitting alcohol. The first time lasted a year and slowly started drinking in moderation again and now I’m back at the place I don’t want to be. I really want this second chance to stick. I have a special needs son, a demanding job and a daughter who is lovely. I need to show up better for them. My husband is very supportive. We are ex-pats in barcelona and will live here another year before going back to states.
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Welcome to the community Elizabeth
This is a safe space filled with members dealing with similar sobriety journey’s. You will find loads of support, love and advice here. You did make it a year before which is awesome. Grateful you have also seen that going back with the mindset of moderation does not work (we all have learned that the hard way). You are taking the steps towards sobriety and that is awesome.
Check out the What’s YOUR plan? thread for some tips and guidance.
Some members choose to check in daily (sometimes many times in a day) to stay connected to support and gain accountability. Checking in daily to maintain focus #86
Take some time to read around. Join in when you feel comfortable 
Hope to see you around.
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One thing that I have learned about giving up alcohol is that it is rarely a linear journey. There are often stumbles along the way that send us off our plan. Now you know more than you did the first time around and you will get back to where you want to be! I know that I myself cannot moderate alcohol and it took me so many tries at quitting to finally realize that.
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Its true. I used to be able to moderate it, but after letting it get out of hand for the past 2.5 years it seems moderation is not an option…
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Someone on this forum recently explained our drinking like reading a book.
If you stop, its like putting a book mark in the book. But at some point when you pick that book up again, you dont start at the beginning.. your right back where you left off.
Most of us think we can moderate. Or that after some time we are cured.. but neural pathways are formed. Just like if you learned to ride a bike as a kid you will always know how to ride a bike.
If you have problems with alcohol and moderation now. Then you will always have that problem regardless of any time away. So best to just accept that and work towards an amazing sober life. Ive spend way too many years trying to moderate and juggle an unsustainable life balancing being able to work a good career and get as drunk as i functionally can.
Ive never been as happy and healthy as i am sober. Its absolute insanity that anyone wants to lead a life ruled by addiction. The grass is much much greener on the other side.
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Welcome Elizabeth! Glad ur here and on this journey with us!
I too have a special needs son (well, he is medically complex) and i remember the mom guilt being horrendous when I was in the “problem”. Things are much, MUCH different today due to sobriety and the support from this forum 
And for yourself too 
When we care for ourselves, we then have the capacity to be better moms and wives.
Yes, moderation is impossible for people like us. We are addicts/alcoholics thru n thru. As soon as I put any substance into my body, i release that addiction all over again. Thats why complete abstinence is crucial for us. I remember at one point having 3 years clean and sober. I got complacent in my recovery. Went back out for over 10+ years. We must do the daily work to arrest out addictions.
Hope to see u posting more
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I feel like these addictions to the various substances are all guiding us. Most roads end with a spiritual awakening, through AA or something similar, that teaches us to put others first and understand and accept everyone and love them as they are. They call it a “spiritual disease”.