I just wanted to share I had a horrible day. Never crossed my mind to drink though . Just a horrible day with unpleasant things happening. Feeling sad, tired and anxious. Learning how to deal with raw emotions while sober. But, very grateful for being sober and will continue in this fashion.
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I’m sorry to read that you had a horrible day, but congrats on staying sober! What was so horrible about the day? Wanna share?
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Keep going your great job! Things will get bether!
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Sending you big hugs, tomorrow is a new day 
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@Jesile i think in my case I am starting to realize when two people (my husband and I in this case) get sober at the same time it has challenges as well. Because the way you evolve in sober life cannot always be at the same speed or manner. I am reflecting a lot on the past years and what I’ve done wrong as a parent and individual. But, also choices we made in our life as a couple. Even back then when I was still drinking, I made it known I disagreed with certain decisions because it did not include what’s important to me in life and my chances to be who I would like to be. He doesn’t want to speak about it, because he’s like “you went along with it” So we had unpleasant conversations, had to deal with unpleasant phone conversations on another topic, but all really heavy and important stuff. When I was drunk every night I would just “forget about it” for a few hours. Now it sometimes feels like I am learning to truly think for the first time, if that makes sense
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Thanks for sharing Solange, I cannot relate 100% because I’m not married. But what is for certain is that once you decide to get sober together at the same time, changes appear in the relationship. I think having “unpleasant conversations” is a step forward, even though you might not see it this way right now. These conversations are necessary to clarify stuff that has always been left unsaid in the past, when “you could forget about it” whilst being drunk. I hope both of you can work yourselves through this, and start living a better life as a (sober) couple!
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It can promote healing to think about these days differently. The day was not horrible. There were some unpleasant interactions. You may have (like me) carried those around and replayed them throughout the day, or kept chewing on the feelings. But considering the day now, can you separate the horrible bits from the good ones? There were occasions for serenity and for joy. Being sober at the end of the day is a win no matter what happened.
Part of getting sober for me is learning to release those strong, usually negative, emotions as they rise up in me - to allow them to come, be recognized, and to go. It’s a learned habit and a skill, not something I do naturally. Focusing on the moments of gratitude and peace, in a deliberate and mindful way, helps me with that.
For me, I cannot solve a problem while I am all choked up with emotion about it. Situations that I can improve require me to let go of the strong emotional attachment to being right. That’s what comes naturally to me, the feeling that I am right and the rest of the world better get on board with my plan!
Blessings are showering on your house 
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@Jesile Hi! How are you doing today?
Thank you for your reply. I always like to choose my words carefully and by “unpleasant conversations” I basically meant: I had a massive fight with my husband. We are still at odds up to as of now. We just don’t see eye to eye at this moment. I understand because it’s mostly because we are in a very stressful situation. We currently live as expats in a country where I can’t adjust, just so unhappy living here for the past years. Therefore my husband is in the process of closing for a house in a different country. Plan is my daughter and I move over there, while my husband continues his job till the contract finishes. Meanwhile he is able to see us every two weeks. I absolutely love the country we are moving to. But, the endless streams of emails for all the paperwork, setbacks, requests for more paperwork, more bills etc takes a huge toll. It’s what escalated our drinking as well. Always giving the excuse, “once we make it happen to purchase our forever home, we’ll quite drinking.” Till we realized we have to quite now and just deal with the stress head on. We have to learn to communicate as sober people and with sober emotions. I know it sounds stupid, but that’s what it feels like.
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Hi Solange, I’m doing ok, thanks for asking. Not in the best moment of the month, but fine. It’s temporary…
Well… sounds like you have a lot on your plate. Living in a country where you’re not happy is tough. I’ve moved around my fair bit.
The alternative solution that you mention of you moving somewhere else, and your husband visiting every 2 weeks seems just as stressful to me! 
But maybe by moving to this new country, which you like, you will find some peace! Specially if things are so very tense between you and your husband right now. How’s today been? Just as horrible? Hopefully not! 
@Jesile Hi! Sorry to hear you are not having one of the best days but thankfully temporary.
I understand that it sounds really stressful to outside parties for spouses to be living in different countries. But, my husband is always away for his job. It’s normal for me to see him one or two weeks a month except for his long vacation breaks. I could be waiting for him to come home to a country where I am very unhappy or waiting for him to come home to a country I love and can build a life for myself as well. Things are not good right now. They had been up to yesterday. We are still very supportive of each other’s sober journey. We both don’t waver from the decision we have made to live life sober. Really happy and grateful for that.
May I please ask have you ever encountered issues with how to communicate after getting sober or is it just me and something wrong with me? In case there is something wrong I would like to work on it. I noticed not just with my husband but also with other people that I communicate differently. I am way more calm in my communication but very clear where I stand with certain things. Normally I would just not say anything. It’s like people liked that better, but I don’t. I also would like to communicate in a good sober way
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What kind of communication do you mean? How to tell other people that you’ve stopped drinking?
@Jesile no, that’s not what I mean. When I was stil drinking I would let everything slide, didn’t matter whether people would upset me, I was too caught up in my own drinking world. Now that I am sober, I do speak my mind. I recently had an encounter with someone who treated me quite unfriendly and unfairly to say the least. But, I was still drinking and just didn’t say anything about it. She recently addressed matters which already quite upset me back then , but didn’t say anything. I notice now that I am sober I do say when I find certain encounters unpleasant. People don’t respond to that well. Kind of like: where’s the old you who didn’t care about anything? Those kind of communications . I think I would like to ask please did you respond to things differently while sober ? Or is it just me? Don’t know whether I explained it right…
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This really resonates with me.
Me and my partner of almost 15 years met when we were on the party scene. We moved in together and had quite a drinking career together.
We have a lot of different views on things, which I don’t think is always a bad thing. But there are some that were better for me to just forget about with my nightly cocktails.
Now I’m on a sober journey and evolving emotionally, as he continues on his path of drinking.
I know that I’m not here to dictate his choices or path in any way.
But I’m not sure we can connect on much at all anymore.
I do think it’s great that you and your husband have quit together though.
I know those honest conversations are rarely easy to have and to digest. 
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My husband and I got sober together as well. While its been one of the best decisions we’ve ever made, it has also forced us to confront issues that we were just ignoring in our drinking years. It’s not easy at all.
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@SoberSassy Hi! Oh thank you so much for your reply and sharing some of your story. I am so happy to hear you understand what I mean. Because I was truly wondering whether it’s just me. Wow, it’s really amazing you got sober regardless the fact that your partner still drinks. That takes a lot of strength and determination to stay sober when you are living with someone who still drinking. Don’t know whether I could have quit drinking if my husband would still drink. You should be really proud of yourself! Just shows how strong you are
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@ErinLeigh Hi! Thank you for your reply. Having conversations which would normally be swept under the rug, because you were too busy drinking and being drunk, is not easy at all. Some things, not specifically now , but should be addressed sometime. It’s now a matter of figuring out how to go about it. I thought for a long time that my husband and I are quite rare for both being alcoholics. Feel very ashamed about this, since we are parents as well. I will never forgive myself for drinking and falling to be the mom my daughter always deserved. But, by reading through the posts on here I know my husband and I are not the only ones who drank as a couple. Therefore just like others have done way before us, we can also turn our lives around. Thank you for sharing
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I know it’s a weird thing to say but it’s awesome that you’ve got thru this horrible day without breaking sobriety!
When this has happened to me and I’ve made it thru sober, looking back it feels like a real win 
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