Hello everyone. I’ve been clean from coke for almost 8 months now and only 2 weeks from alcohol. I don’t really have anyone in my life that I feel I can truly lean on when I’m having one of those days. If this is something you can relate to, how do you keep from falling back into old habits? I just feel like I keep hitting this wall when it comes to trusting people. I guess I’m just tired of feeling so alone. Any advice helps
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First off, great job on your clean & sober time. Second, you’re here and that’s better than not interacting with anyone else who struggles. More time and chatting here is helpful for sure. A peer counselor is a big help too and they are often found at substance use/behavioral health centers.
I can say this for sure, when we sponsor ourselves we oftentimes get let down.
Hang in there & keeping searching/finding ways that work for you.
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You can always post here, man. May not be much but it’s something. I’m in a similar boat, and what I’ve done is to work every day on re-framing my triggers and the associations I made with my old habit. If they don’t seem appealing anymore, then I don’t have as strong of an urge to use. There’s always the SAMHSA hotline, too.
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I can totally relate. Here was my sole support for my first 2 years of sobriety but in my real life I was really isolated and alone SO much. At that time, I knew I needed a REAL life change as I was repeating many mistakes and not truly happy, even though I was sober. I broke down and asked whoever was listening (my higher power) if you are real and listening out there, please show me the way as I’m tired of living like this, lonely, unhappy and unhealed. I was literally lead to AA the next day and got a sponsor to start working my steps with to REALLY change my life. In connecting with a recovery group, I have learned SO much! I have a community of people who are sober and not only care about me but WANT to help me. We all share in it together so we learn and grow together. It’s helpful and beautiful support. It’s not my old support system who would fuel the fire within me to go back to my old ways. It’s true change that’s healthy and from those who have been where I have so they understand. It’s support from people who have changed their lives too. I have gained so much from there that I wished I had done it sooner but I needed to get my ego out of the way to be willing to surrender to allow that new support in. I thought I knew best and could handle it on my own but today I’m grateful for change and that community in my life. 
Hugs!
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I had to change everything about my life when I stopped drinking and doing coke. Due to stress and triggers, I changed careers within the first month of sobriety. I cut off contact with all my drinking and using friends. Went to AA and made new friends that are always there for me and understand when I’m having a tough day. My daily routine had to completely change. I had to substitute drinking and drugging with healthy activities. Life is completely different now and I like it. I can’t imagine going back to living the way I did 2.5 years ago.
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Good for you on reaching out for help! That is the thing that keeps us grounded. Addiction is about isolating and having a “relationship” with our substance or behaviour. Recovery - and life in general - is about communicating and connecting and building things that matter. (Communicating and connecting is for all humans. Us recovering addicts have to learn these skills that non-addicts do on a regular basis! The good news is they can be learned.)
I don’t think any of us do it alone. Talking Sober is one space to find people. Another one is meetings, like online ones Online meeting resources or in person ones like www.SMARTRecovery.org or www.AA.org or other ones that you like (there are a bunch of different recovery programs where people connect and find the support they need - there’s a good list here: Resources for our recovery).
Keep it up and don’t give up. Take it one day at a time and you will find what you need 
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Exactly what Lisa said above. You don’t have to do this alone. Community and support are key for me.
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Theres always someone here to listen or talk with. One thing we start to learn is how to develop healthy relations with people who arent using or active in their addiction. We have to try and give the little effort it takes to get out of our comfort zone, to reach out an ask for help. Was never easy for me to do with anything, i always thought id do it on my own, if i wanted something i was going to get it by myself. I learned alot of things i needed help with and i couldnt do it alone. But your here in this wonderful community of like minded folks. Congratulations on 2weeks sober and 8months clean.
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I come here a lot.
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This community is your support system I’ve been trying to do it alone for over 20 yrs. Need to trust yourself that you will reach out to people in your ruff times it can be strangers or someone you know but you will have to release the feelings off emptiness. Thankful for this community, I feel like I have unlimited sponsors on here. A lot of caring and willing to help family in this community 
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Thank you for your advice everyone! I definitely need to stop trying to ‘sponsor’ myself because it never works. I will look into getting into an AA/NA meeting asap. Best I can do while away from home is posting and reading on here. I really appreciate the insight from people who know what it’s like. One day at a time right?
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Wow you are strong I’m back on day one again from alcohol and coke, I am going to keep trying although you may feel alone remember you are a strength for alot of other people 
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Congratulations on your clean time! I can totally understand What you mean in regards to not trusting people and feeling alone. I’ve been sober for 3 years and I’ve done most of it without much support. When I have one of those days I redirect my attention to my studies or take my granddaughter to do an activity. I snatch my power back. It is tiring to feel like you’re doing it all alone though. Being here in this community is a good place to begin reaching out ,I think.
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