Having really intense cravings on this Saturday night. Just spent 20 minutes perusing the craft beer aisle of my market, checking alcohol percentages, reading flavor profiles. Beer wasn’t my drink of choice & it’s JUST a 6pack, right?
SO I thought it might be a good idea to remind myself how I feel after “just a couple” while it’s still fresh in my mind from my last relapse:
A few minutes after just a couple I feel warm and calm. I feel relief. "That was what I needed, I can just have a couple."
Another few minutes after that I’m feeling impatient.
"Where’s the next drink?"
Just minutes after that the anxiety starts creeping in.
"The warm fuzzy feelings going to fade soon. Hurry. Where’s the next drink?"
Minutes after that comes Anger/ Irritability.
"F it. I already had a couple. Why waste that good feeling? I mine as well have a couple more."
Annnddd… Then I’m on my way to drunk.
@kiki . You CAN’T just freaking have a couple.
How about you guys? How do you feel after just one? Just a couple?
I can’t do just a couple? I just have one mode, autopilot until blackout. I would only drink the most alcoholic thing in the store or straight liquor after that stopped working. I bought things based on alcohol percentage not taste.
That was a perfect discription in my case. One drink will inevitable just make me agitated until I have another one and that will continue until I pass out. Not even puking can stop that train once it starts, just passing out.
@kiki and @Decided you just described me perfectly. At most I would do without for a couple of days. Long enough to recover and forget the negative impact. Then I’d start the cycle all over again. Just a couple, then keep it topped up til sleep and/or blackout. One the following morning to ease the hangover, and then it starts all over again
Thank god those days are behind me!
Onwards and upwards
Must say i really liked beer and do miss it. Thing is after one or two beers you have satisfied your need for the taste you like. I then just guzzle until pissed, the like of the taste of beer is gone and replaced by need. Followed by hangover and remorse. But i do still miss a beer on a hot day
I might be able to have just a couple but the next day my brain tells me, Eric you missed out on getting drunk. Go ahead and get drunk today. You did good yesterday you only had a couple. My brain makes me think I missed out. Even just after one beer this happens. Its really hard.
For me I have tried moderation… Yeah right! Didn’t happen… Like I explained to my husband, when I have couple the go button gets triggered in me and there is no turning back until the finish line which is blackout drunk, v’s him after a couple the stop button gets triggered and he stops.
That’s what we addicts have to accept, we don’t have a stop button, we crossed the imaginary line into addictions and there is no going back.
And who cares really, what are we really giving up, that 2 seconds of numbness when we don’t feel, the destruction, the hangovers, the loneliness, the guilt, … To me now! it’s such a waste. I think about all the Friggin time I have wasted on the mind bending distortion of drug addictions, and the life I have wasted and now I accept that I can’t use anything. … Big deal, time to accept me and move on to a better more productive life.
Excellent post. Worth a review when cravings set in. Your description is spot on too. Nailed it!
Cravings are 10x worse after a couple drinks and they last 10x longer.
Ive also found that it’s not a couple drinks I’m after, it’s a buzz I’m after. And if I give into it, I’m giving control to my addiction. Once that happens, it determines what level of buzz is satisfying.
With alcohols short half-life, the drinks keep on flowing.
Just realized something…
I wonder how many non-addicts even know what half life is?
Beer was the only alcohol i could moderate, 2-3 pints with some food and i was done (love that taste) … Wine on the other hand, i could never have a glass! I would rarely eat when drinking wine too, killed the buz. I still remember feeling sad when pouring last wine into glass… So i decided to buy a beer to cheer myself up… Then another one and i was out! I was so irritated if i run out of it ‘half sober’… I used to order take away just so i can order wine with it… Or go to bed irritated hating myself, my life and everyone in it… Wake up full of regrets, bloated and sweaty… Im so happy atm, 40 days sober
I never kid myself with “just one drink” - there is no point. BUT I would kid myself with just one BOTTLE! Oh, I’ll just buy this 1L of vodka, and when it’s done, it’s done. I’ll just continue with my sober self. Yeah right. When drinking at home, I literally would record how each 2oz shot on paper and when I drank it. I know that 4 tick marks was, ok, but that I would need at least 6-8 tic marks. After that, who remembers.