Hi everyone, like I’ve said before I have two youmy kids…they are friends with my neighbors kids and now that is warmer out we see them a lot.
They are heavy drinkers, party every weekend. And we usually all drink together.
Today they want us to come over so kids can play. I’m going on 72 hours clean. Ahh the struggle. My husband says "Well just don’t drink " how dobyou handle seeing others drink when newbto sobriety??
It’s difficult, I’m not going to lie. Leave if it gets too hard to say no. Always have a non-alcoholic drink in your hand.
If they’re pushy drinkers that are always in my life (like neighbors) but I don’t want to talk to them about my sobriety I just say I’m not drinking for health reasons.
We had neighbors we regularly drank with and the woman was so adamant and in my face about it I just ended up telling her I had an ulcer and couldn’t drink for a very long time.
She finally stopped offering me drinks.
I know lying isn’t the best…but in this case, around these people, “just don’t drink” wasn’t something I was capable of.
It’s always helpful to show up with your own N/A beverage too so if they offer you can say "no thanks I already have a drink."
Good luck!
Very good exit … I will learn it!!!
It’s a good exit to use with those people that won’t buzz off about drinking, but you also don’t want them in your personal business.
I’m in the same situation. It is hard but i like the advise of always having an NA drink in your hand.
I did it! Took my bubbly water over there, had that! They kept asking and I kept saying no!! Yay!! So happy! Didn’t think I could do it! Luckily none of them had a drink either so that helped!
In my opinion the people who insist you drink almost certainly have drinking problems themselves. I was just offered a drink a half hour ago by my neighbors, a “no, thanks” was all that was needed. If they won’t take a polite no, lie if you have to and unfortunately cut folks out of your social life if you have to. Sad as that is.
I agree with @Elisabeth having non alcoholic drinks around definitely helps. Especially if it’s something you really like like a certain tea, juice or soda. Whatever healthy alternative you like that isn’t alcohol.
Tell them to do one and don’t pressure you
I struggle with keeping a social life that doesn’t involve drinking. If I were you I’d just tell them you’re cutting back, and if they become pushy tell them to mind their own business. You don’t have to justify your decisions or lie.
Don’t go. Don’t let anybody make you do anything especially anything that will but the amazing 3 days of progress I have been jeopardy. If your husband and friends can’t understand that then you need to start having conversations and make some tough decisions. The only person that you should be making happy right now is you. A happy you benefits everybody. Not least your amazing children. Be selfish, lay down your ground rules and if people don’t like it tell them to get the f out.
Sorry to sound brutal and blunt but I honestly believe that’s the best way forward in a situation like that. Good luck we are here if you need us 
I gotta be blunt. For the sake of your kids and your sobriety stay the hell away from them. You have the right say no and walk away. The reason or excuse is none of their damn business. Remember that, please. If they push it, just say no again and leave it at that. True friends respect boundaries. Don’t feel badly about coming off rude.
Never be a shame of being sober! Be proud! You have worked hard to get where You are. You own nobody an explanation to. nobody remember that.
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I just apologized to a friend tonight about not coming over to her apartment. She and her boyfriend are usually hanging out drinking and I wouldn’t trust myself there. She immediately said “you do not have to be sorry, we get it and we’re happy for you!” It made me realize they see that im not being rude, but also that I never need to apologize!
Granted they’ve seen me talk about getting sober for a while and have been supportive. But to actually know that some people won’t just berate and bring you down about it…is refreshing.
A lot of people will take offense, but that’s because they think you will judge them. Keep your head up and stand your ground. If staying sober means being a hermit and avoiding people who drink, so be it!
Well done, it’s a big step to keep control. You should be very proud. And I bet you still had a lovely time… Sober so it can be done! X
38 days I have been abstinent from wine . I hosted a St. Patty 's Day Party 2 days into
My decision to get out if the bottom of the red wine bottle , The core group of 8 couples were there who are the “party group” always a party and alcohol always flowing . It was noticed that I was not drinking and when asked I said he shit had hit the fan and I need to return to controlling my life without red wine. The following morning I sent out individual text messages to this group who are my neighbors and social life being honest that I am in therapy for alcohol abuse , involved in the smart recovery program . I explained that one of my worst fears was loosing their friendships . Every single person responded we are proud of you and we will support you! . I replied to all keep the invitations coming and I will join you if I’m in a good place or decline if I’m not. I can say each couple has reached out and made me feel welcome SOBER.
Hi Try not to put yourself in high risk situations as it is so very easy to drop your guard in a social setting! Remember its that first drink which can make or break your willpower!
They may say its ok to drink but we know its not ok for us otherwise we wouldnt be using this app!
Good luck stay strong.
I honestly just tell everyone that I know that I can’t drink, and if they push it on you or it’s to hard to watch someone else drink you shouldn’t hang around with them while they are drinking.
Just tell them the truth…“No thanks, I just don’t want to”!
