14 days without weed, 13 days AF. I feel like shit today. I have terrible weed cravings and I really hate my two friends who are encouraging me to smoke and drink. I just wanna cut them out of my life but I’m too scared. They messes my head, I’m now full of fear and doubt and the demon is whispering in my ear “come on, you can smoke one spliff”. But no, I can’t smoke just one joint, I have to smoke for days after I start, so no weed for me. I’m gonna drink some coffee and go for a walk if that would help. Fuck, I really hate my life and myself right now. I wanna just cry and go under a blanket and not be in contact to anyone.
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So excited to be closing in on 1 year! Have tried to achieve this milestone on so many occasions and at times thought it would never be possible. Less than a month to go!
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@StacyAnn as others have said…relapse starts before the actual relapse. I have plenty of alcohol in the house and garage. For me- I had to put it in high cupboards and in the garage fridge so I didn’t see it daily. I got a minu fridge for myself to fill with la croix and ginger beer. No way in the early days was I going to keep looking at it daily and not touch it. When you tried it with H, it wasn’t in a place you frequently went to - I’m guessing. Having in a fridge that you would open often is a frequent reminder. Coming up to 2 weeks 
. Keep kicking ass and pushing forward. When you BF says he doesn’t mind you drinking but wants it contained - he doesn’t realize we don’t have an off switch and can go 0-60 in a heartbeat. Best not to test it and stay sober 
@MrMoustache it is harder when your family/ friends are pushing you to use / drink / smoke …they are not in your corner and will only be happy if you are miserable at their level. It does hurt and sucks to cut people out but I’ve found that by doing so I’m giving my sobriety a chance. You have to look out for yourself here. Keep showing up for yourself David 
@Spidey that’s a beautiful number… super excited to be celebrating your 1 year with you soon 
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Triple 3’s here. 333 days sober. Feeling great.
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Excellent work
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@JazzyS it’s in the beer fridge which I haven’t been going in, we don’t keep any any in thr main fridge because of the kids.
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@Dazercat there’s always beer in the house, BF consistently has a 30rk in the mini fridge. I’ll jump over to the meme thread in a bit, I have a ton of memes. I have confidence in not drinking. I’m appreciating how I can maintain difficult conversations, especially when brought up when the BF is drinking and staying on subject, and having that clear head. Seeing him in a drunk state sucks, he kept circling back to the same conversation last night, same question, like I hadn’t already given an answer. I was like okay he’s drunk drunk… Breathe, and utilize WAIT… no arguments were had but seeing his range if emotions, while I’m sober, and knowing that if I was drinking too it would’ve been a complete shit show, I’m pretty good with being sober.
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