Well, its time. My father in law has stage 4 terminal cancer and hes almost gone. Hes not going to make it through the night.
Im 40 days sober and the only way ive know how to handle my feelings and emtions were to NOT feel them and mask them with drugs and alcohol.
My triggers are horrible right now and i just need advice?
You cannot control that he will die tonight, but you can control how you respond to it. Honor his passing by remaining sober.
I’m sorry Jessica - I can imagine this being a very emotional.
It is best to be clear headed to be there for your family members and for yourself. Masking your feelings will only delay the grief. It is okay to feel grief. We are here for you - lean on us if you need to.
Big hugs love - you are doing great on 40 days of sobriety. You have come so far - just keep strong!
My deepest sympathies, this is such a horrible time. But dealing with emotions has to be done, numbing them them and delaying them does nothing to actually process them. Your family will also need you to be present to support them at this time, and you can be supported also, if you are open, not running off to use. Sending strength.
I’m sorry to hear that, it’s a very difficult part of life that we all must endure.
It’s ok to feel, and remember, whatever you are feeling, it’s exactly what you need to feel.
I lost my fil, coming up on 6 years ago (cancer) and lost my mom only 4 months ago (also cancer) and as hard as it is, it’s a normal part of life. While there was sorrow and sadness, there was also joy and gratitude. I am sure the same is true with you.
Take what time you have left and say what needs to be said and be there for your husband, he needs hugs too.
I wish you well in these hard times.
As said My therapist “there is no bad emotions, there is a issu how you manage them”. At hard times I try to remind other thing I heard from my friend. We were talking about passing away and I said that it is the moment i am afraid the most that i start drinking. He said something that changed my point of view and I stick to it. That in such moment i can be drunk and literally iseles and be addituonal burden for my relatives or I can be sober and make it easier for evrybody and eaven help somehow. From.this time I am not afraid. 2 close family member passed away and I always try to help others.Take care!
I’m sorry that you and your family are going through this. You are in my prayers. Drinking and drugging would make this a hundred times harder. Sending strength
First, I would like to off my condolences to you, your significant other, and your family during this difficult time.
I understand using alcohol to try and deal with emotions by masking them. It’s only a false and temporary “solution” to those emotions. I would suggest really allowing yourself to feel those emotions, let all of it out. I promise it will help process them.
I’ll share with you an experience I had with something similar. In February 2022 my best friend passed away somewhat unexpectedly. The way I tried to “process” the grief was through drinking, and it didn’t allowed me to give myself the adequate or appropriate time or means to process it. After over a year of pushing down all those emotions and covering them with alcohol, I emotionally reached a breaking point and couldn’t do it anymore. I let all of the emotions I felt out, I cried, for a very long time. I never wanted a drink so badly in my life but I knew I couldn’t do that and it wouldn’t truly help.
I know that it feels like alcohol or drugs is the easy, go to solution but it’s not. Please be safe and don’t hesitate to reach out.
How are you all today?
Death opens up a wound that takes a long time to heal, but alcohol or using just postpones any kind of healing and prolongs the agony.
Its ok to feel incredibly sad, to cry, to grieve.
But staying sober will allow you to not only process his passing but to be there for your partner and be the one they can lean on.
Keep taking it 1 day, 1 hour at a time, and keep reaching out if you need a hand
Hey Jessica - just checking in on you. I do hope you and your family are doing well and coping with this loss. Do know that we are right here for you if you need us.
Sending you hugs
Thank you so much. He passed away monday. September 18th at 2:30 am. We were all surrounded at his bedside as he took his last breath. This is probably one of the hardest thing’s ive had to deal with. I just keep telling myself that hes in a better and no longer in pain.
I am still sober, even tho ive wanted to use. I havent, im 42 days sober today and im just doing my best to stay that way because people need me…
Ah love - i’m so sorry for the loss!
He would have been grateful to have all his family beside him during his last moments. Grateful that you are keeping strong in your sobriety!
Much love to you Jessica - remember that we are here with you / for you! Stay connected
Oh JessicaAnn, I am so sorry. Emotions are hard and grief is a tough one. I know he would be proud of you getting thru this sober. Honoring him in your sobriety and yourself. I am glad he had loving family with him during his transiton. Much love to you.