I highly recomend a great book called This Naked Mind. There’s also a podcast by the same name. It has helped me a ton. It helps reprogram your brain so you stop making the same decisions around drinking.
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That is a good point . I’m just worried if I tell myself to be sober for the rest of my life I’ll be disappointed if I mess up . Versus I would like to cut back to maybe one drink a month , and Deff limit myself to not getting drunk but just tipsy . But again what your saying is very true . If I knew how to drink I prob wouldn’t be on the website . I didn’t realize it was for ppl who only wanted to quit . I thought it was also for ppl who wanted like “ dry months “ or to not drink so often ! I hope I am not trigger anyone and I apologize for the misunderstanding .
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Best way to moderate is not drink at all! I have over 22 months of glorious sobriety and I can tell you my life is so much better.
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I love listening to podcast on my way to work ! Deff writing that down . Thank you .
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ali, i feel you on that. and so many people on here can relate as well. thats why you take it a day at a time. forever freaks me the hell out! but if i tell myself, not today… i get through today. and tomorrow. etc etc. 
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Well, this is a sobriety forum, so you won’t get a lot of advice on moderating here. We are all pretty much well past the idea that alcohol holds any enjoyment for us.
There are however, a variety of resources that you may find helpful in your journey…have a look at this thread for lots of info to help you…
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And forget about forever…keep your focus on not drinking today. Forever doesn’t exist.
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If I could drink in moderation. It would’ve never become a problem for me. When I tried to fool myself into thinking that I could drink in moderation, was in I spiraled down and hit my rock bottom. It wasn’t a pretty place. I don’t think about being sober forever. I know that my quality of life was pretty shitty when I was drinking. Today, I choose not to drink.Today, I can have fun and enjoy my life without alcohol. I focus on today. Tomorrow isn’t promised. One more drunk could wind me up in a grave. I know that I don’t want that. That’s all alcohol has to offer me.
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Theres no point in drinking poison moderately. You really arent missing out on much if you just cut it out completely. I know for me trying to limit it just turned into making exceptions over and over until i was just drunk every second still.
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If I knew how to enjoy drinking without abusing it, I wouldn’t be here 
It sounds like you’ve got some pretty good reasons to take a break from drinking. I agree with one day at a time.
While you’re taking a break you might as well make the most of it… Find things to do in the day time and go and do them, hangover free. Spend time with friends that you will appreciate and remember. Try that new thing you were always interested in but too drunk/ hungover/ skint to do. Maybe you will find you prefer it that way and extend your break a little longer!
I don’t know about forever but I know that right now, I don’t drink and that’s working for me.
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Honestly…I found the podcast annoying without having read the book. My personal opinion…read the book first.
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I love this ! Thank you
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When I am home I can drink but not get blacked out . It’s when I am out with friends that it becomes a slippery slope . I’ll start strong and then get faded by the end of the night . I barley hang with anyone now cus I’m focused on school and work a lot . So that saves me the trouble of temptation, but every now and then bam . I go to hard. I’m going to challenge myself to 30 days but as you guys said take it one day at a time . Then maybe I can even further then those 30 days .
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A few years ago I was pretty much exactly how you described, except without the blacking out. I didn’t like that I’d unintentionally overdo it sometimes, and I didn’t like the effects it was having on my life and my health. Continuing to mess up despite my best real attempts to moderate, was evidence that moderation wouldn’t work for me. At one point, I decided there was enough evidence and accepted the conclusion. In my case, unfortunately, I wasn’t satisfied until it had gotten worse and started to cause way bigger problems.
When you drink, there’s some risk of the bad stuff: hangovers, blackouts, and everything else. The only way to avoid that risk is to not drink. You don’t have to quit forever, you can just decide how long you want to be safe. It’s fair to say “I don’t know about later, but for now, I don’t want drinking to mess up my life.”
The FOMO is a normal thing to feel, just remember you’re not really missing out. Take a perspective change, and imagine yourself in the future. Are you more likely to regret drinking, or regret not drinking? Are you more likely to be set back in your life goals by drinking or by not drinking? Alcohol is good at creating illusions that intensify good times, friends, relaxing, but then you feel cheaped out on when the illusion wears off and things are different, and normal life feels inferior. Not to mention the lovely parting gifts a bender will leave you with in the morning.
I used to think it would really suck to not have a drink once in a while. I don’t feel that way anymore, I don’t even miss it. I like what I’ve got now. But it did take time for me to come around. Give yourself time, you don’t need to be thinking about forever if it doesn’t help you to do so.
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I hear you and I get it…totally. It sucks not having control and not knowing how the drinking will play out…sometimes okay, sometimes black out asshole…who can say which you will get on any given night.
I say good for you for shooting for 30 days. Take it a day at a time and see how it feels for you.
I do know for me I wish I had been able to stop drinking many years earlier when I was younger and I was first recognizing it was not good for me. I could have saved myself a lot of years of feeling like crap about myself and my behavior when drinking. YMMV but congrats on recognizing something needs to change.
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Also I would like to add I quit when I was 28 and I thank God everyday I quit before I was 30. Better to catch it early before it destroys your body even more. A lot of my friends haven’t beem so lucky and the differences are obvious. The only regret I have ever had in my life is not getting sober sooner.
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What’s the line? 1 is too many and 1,000 isn’t enough. Yeah - that’s me. Moderation doesn’t work for this guy.
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“Tipsy not drunk” doesn’t work for pretty much everyone on here. This Naked Mind mentioned above is a good start for you. Read a lot of posts here. There’s a lot of experience and wisdom freely given out. Good luck to you.
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I’ve found that if you have to work at moderation then abstinence is a better goal.
I can easily say no to the first drink, that’s not a problem at all. The problem is that I cannot say no to the second drink. I’ve tried a thousand times and failed a thousand times.
I’d love to be able to enjoy a drink now and then, but let’s face it, being able to drink moderately gives us permission to get fucked every now and then. And that’s really what we want when you boil it down, permission to get fucked up.
Abstinence is the only way for me. 
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For me, quitting for good was not only comparatively easy but also a big relief. The hardest part I remember was straddling that line of going out to have fun but with some vague promise of not blasting off into blackout land. THAT was hard, trying to hold onto an invisible rope, remaining vigilant while having a fun time. I’d manage to maintain a tight performance a few nights but then soon enough, I’d go out and slip into blackout, waking up with regret, self loathing and remorse. Walking that tight rope was the hardest part. That took effort. It took me a long time to be able to look around at my beloved bar scene that I thought held so much fun, and to see it for what it was. Quitting for good took the struggle out and provided me with freedom.
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