Welcome to the community Adam.
It is not an easy road to recovery but it is definitely worth it. Are you doing anything to help you stay sober?
- Are you going to meetings (in person or online)
- Would you be open to a sponsor (can find available sponsors at the in person meetings)
- have you removed all alcohol from your home (not always possible if you are sharing a space but good move if you can manage it)
- Change up routine(s) so that you are not associating times of day and tasks with drinking
- Change up social circles so you do not feel triggered
I do love this community for all its support and great advice. Take your time to read the threads and jump in when comfortable. I find the following two threads to be most helpful:
Checking in daily to maintain focus #58
and
Daily Gratitude, The Air Of Recovery #5
We can not do this journey alone - make sure to surround yourself with a good support team and remember a. we can not moderate (can not even have 1 drink) b. we work the urges one day at a time - one hour, minute, second at a time – keep yourself busy to avoid the urges.