So my Hubby realllllllly cut down on drinking. What he has had in 6 moths he would have over like 2 weekends. He keeps saying 3 months hunny, oh look 5 months now and now its 6. He considers himself sober. He doesn’t get drunk, but he has had some drinks. I’m i wrong for saying that doesn’t count you need to restart your app. sober is sober from Booze.
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I would say it is definitly progress for him (cutting back A LOT) but i wouldnt say he is fully sober. But then again it is his recovery. Does he know what being sober really means I wonder?
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Sounds like he is doing well in cutting down and controlling it. I don’t think he should claim to be sober, however if he can control things without spiraling back into his old ways maybe support him? Thats a tough one but if you and him are pleased of where he is at then hes probably ok. I’d just make sure he doesnt start slipping into his old ways of drinking
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We have talked about that , he said he is proud of himself. And he said that if he starts his app tracker over it will screw him up. Mind you im Sober from Alcohol but i still use CBD and THC. He used the Vape tip as well sometimes.
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Thats right
While thats frustrating and seems like hes lying to himself. Anything you say to him wont be received well. His own words were that hes scared to reset.
You could ask him why he feels that way. You can tell him what you think. But what you cant do is control his actions or recovery. Some people recommend al anon. Ive been told i should try it too
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A slip equals a reset to me. But I will say this it he his timer and it is from him to decide. If he should reset his timer.
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“Sober” is only a word. What it means to him, to you, or to me may lie miles apart. But the truth does not hide itself. I believe both you and he already know the answer in your hearts. There is no need for me to cast a vote, you already carry the knowing within you. 
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Hey there,
I remember a similar situation when I needed to decide wether to reset or not. I was doing so much better and it felt like this effort would not be seen anymore if I resetted.
I named the counter „already doing so much better but slipping once in a while“ and started a second one that counted strictly sober days.
Warm regards and keep it up 
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I am still struggling with my sobriety but I would urge him to reset the sober date when he drinks but to also mark the date with the amount he drank that day and if he continues doing better then at least he can look back and see his resets being less and less the better he does Im doing the same with my using and I see how much better I’m able to do in between and it’s actually helping motivate me that I can do this seeing how long I am able to actually stay clean has been more and more progressive. I wish you the best of luck and I’ll pray that your husband gets the strength he needs to pull through. I’ll pray for your family and God bless.
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first of all congrats to your hubs cutting down very much. That’s huge and will not be lost, not the drinks left out, not the sober time and experience.
Some people need longer to get the concept of sobriety and recovery. Fact is, sobriety means zero, nada, niente DOC. Not a sip, not a cheat night, not a beer on the birthday party. Zero.
Everything else is lying to yourself thus withholding yourself from the chance to dig behind, learn and work on the underlying issue. And it’s proof that you don’t take the problem serious or work seriously on it.
That’s ok, it’s a choice and cutting back is harm reduction and a huge step in the right direction.
But it is not sober so when you use a counter for sobriety, a drink is a reset. Tracking intake is something else and is very useful for awareness raising. It can be useful to use both strategies and counters to intensify working towards sobriety.
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