So glad you are 90 days in and feeling so good about getting back in the saddle right away. We screw up. Itās what we do. Learn and keep going. Which is exactly what you did. And helped others, too. Me being one of them.
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Iām glad things are going well for you!
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Grateful to be sober today, and itās been 172 days since I drank that day. Itās crazy that, despite everything Iāve learned, experienced and now know about alcohol, addiction, relapse, sobriety and so on that I can still think about and fantasize drinking again. I came back to this thread just now to re-read the whole thing and get back to the truth and what I know for sure.
i donāt want to drink alcohol, it brings NO benefit, only regret. And yet, I often find myself thinking up future scenarios where I could have ājust one or two drinksā and how I can do that now and Iād be able to moderate. I tell myself BS about how alcohol would make my life easier in terms of dating or being social and relaxing or just being ānormalā and yet, if I be truly honest with myself, I know that itās all BS because alcohol only every brings with it regret and depression and despair for me. Iām actually a much more confident person without it. My life is so much better now because I donāt drink alcohol. Iām about to go overseas in 11 days time, to live in Spain for 3 months and Iām SO excited, and yet I keep worrying about alcohol and perceiving that itās going to be an issue. But, it wonāt be. Because Iām choosing for it not to be. That is within my control, thankfully. I donāt need alcohol to have fun, to be liked, to be social or to be included. I am enough without it. We all are. We all have worth and alcohol masks that truth. I wonāt make the same huge mistake again. Of the last 1080 days, my 1079 sober have been infinitely better than that 1 day of drinking. Thatās enough for me to know the truth.
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Oh wow how exciting, off to Spain soon 
and awesome to see those 172 days!
You know, even when youāre all the way over in Spain, we are all still here for you 
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Good for you E. You deserve to be free. You have the power to choose.
The trick is to choose it every day, and every moment of every day, to consciously make that choice.
Relapse happens - addiction happens - when we are not in the present. It happens when we transport ourselves to the past or the future, and live in a world that is not our present. This is our choice as people in recovery: we choose to stay present, here, now, doing the things we know help keep us healthy (and not the things we know lead down an unhealthy path).
Enjoy your trip to Spain. What an exciting adventure! I was watching a show about CĆ³rdoba the other day and was enthralled by the layers of history there in the architecture and even below the streets. Spain has been a crossing point for so many journeys for so many years, and you get to benefit from that today.
You choose not to drink wine but Iāll tell you what you win from that choice:
- Cheese. A good cheese is way, way better than wine. And Europe - are you kidding me? The land of cheese. I expect a full report.
- Chocolate. European chocolate. Need I say more.
- Fine Cuisine.
- Coffee. Fine coffee.
- Art - the art!
and more.
All those things are 100% alcohol-free and 100% the finer things in life, and they are something to look forward to on this trip. You get to choose what you look forward to. You get to choose, if youāre thinking about the future, to think about something you look forward to because itās one of the true pleasures of life. 
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Thank you for this every word ring true and Iām going to screenshot it to remind myself
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Oh wow, that is so exciting!! I am so jealous!! What a wonderful opportunity.
You sound very determined and in a good place. 
Remembering why we stopped has been key for me as well. We can turn anything into an excuse to drink for sure
and we know where that road takes usā¦nowhere we are happy or proud to be and you are worth so much more than that.
Have a fantastic time!!
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3 months in Spain sounds glorious. Why taint the experience with alcohol. No reason, so you wonāt! 
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Youāre right - alcohol will not make it any better, but it sure could make the trip worse! 
No alcohol para mĆ 
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Thatās the spirit. Oh waitā¦.no spiritsā¦we just covered that!!
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Love this!! Thankyou! X
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Safe trip today E! Keep us posted on your adventures
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I relapsed after 22 years, 6 months and 4 days. I planned my relapse. Iām now back in the roomsā¦and super grateful to be sober today. 16 months this time.
Basically, I thought I had it figured out. I thought I was smarter than alcohol. But it truly is cunning, baffling and powerful.
Today, I can be grateful for my relapse. It taught me SO much. I should be dead. And Iāve been given another shot to do it right today.
You didnāt lose that timeā¦itās still experience, strength and hope. If it was for nothing, then you wouldnāt know that you need to stop.
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Iāve only been on here 1 week, but lots of people seem obsessed with numbersā¦ donāt worry that you are back to 1 that is just a number. You have obviously made huge progress in your life being sober for so long. Donāt dwell on what day you are on, just think in the past you would have felt drunk of hungover a lot and for you itās been a teeny tiny minority of the time. That is something to be proud of. You are equipped now know how to be long term sober. One little slip with no damage done is still a great place to be. You should still be very proud of yourself
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Thanks, Matt!! Iām so excited! Headed to the airport shortly 
Thanks for your msg. I will definitely post some pics! And I will be here everyday for the support you all so kindly offer, as I love my sober, alcohol free life!
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Itās crazy isnāt it, how we can change our life for the better, and yet, so quickly turn it all around again. Iām grateful to be sober today. I know Iām ensuring a better day for myself without alcohol. I still think about drinking a lot, and I question my decisions, but then I come here and read and remember why I am here - why I choose to be soberā¦
Sober life = my best life. 
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Same here brother. I was just over 5 years clean. Lost job and was struggling for sure. One argument with the wife and that was it. Believe me we do make the decision to use way beforehand. I continued to drink for several months. Made the choice to give it up 23 days ago. Not looking back. Iām here to chat about shit if you need to.
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Itās been 205 days now since the lapse day. Yesterday I had a much needed reminder as to why I choose not to drink alcohol anymore. Iām grateful for what happened. I went to a restaurant and ordered food and a non-alcoholic mojito. I figured ordering a non-alcoholic drink, the waiter would be clear on the fact that I donāt want alcohol. When he brought me the bill, he brought with him a ātasterā of a drink, āgratisā in a shot-size glass. He didnāt say if it was alcohol or not (in hindsight, I really should have clarified)
I decided to drink it, thinking he knew that I did not order alcohol and therefore wouldnāt serve it me without my asking or acknowledgement. But, truthfully, I didnt know and figured it could be. I drank it and afterwards, I was pretty sure it was alcohol (I thinkā¦) Within about an hour, I began to feel anxious, a lil sick and like shit. Mustāve been alcohol. I shouldnāt have drank it. However, that small consumption of alcohol (if it was, and this all isnāt just psychological) was a stark and much needed reminder. I hate how alcohol feels with me. I hate what alcohol does to people and society. I donāt want that awful feeling that comes with drinking alcohol. I definitely donāt want to ever feel drunk or hungover again. So, even though it was shit, and I shouldāve done more to protect and hold myself accountable, it was still something I feel like I needed to remember. Itās really SO shit that my brain continually starts to glamorize alcohol after a long period without. Itās so frustrating that I, at times, consider bringing alcohol back into my life as if itās something that will make it ābetterā or easier ā¦ I know it wonāt. It will do the opposite. For sure. I will only regret and despair the decision to start drinking alcohol again. So, today, I will make the decision to be sober and feel proud of it.
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i understand fully! Itās all i can say because I canāt stop drinking the most will be the day
after a horrible black out
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