Hello everyone. I’ve been trying to quit drinking for a while now (honestly, I say this every time after a night of drinking), and this time I really want to quit for the rest of my life.
My problem is that I can pace myself somewhat well until I feeling buzzed, then I start drinking really fast because I’m afraid the buzz will go away. I end up being completely wasted, say & do things that I regret so badly the next morning. Sometimes I get close to anxiety attack. I hate feeling this way. I hate not being able to control myself and making a fool of myself. I’m not who I want to be when I’m drunk, obnoxious and crazy. I also hate how unproductive I am the next morning, neglecting our kids and being in bed or by the toilet all day.
I told my husband I have a problem and want to quit. He is a very relaxed guy and he LOVES alcohol but knows how to control himself. He thinks I’m being silly because I’m not drinking every night and doesn’t “appear” to be a standard alcoholic. He tells me “everybody acts like that when they’re drunk. You are overthinking everything” and he doesn’t take me seriously. Even after I told him I’m quitting, we’ll go to a restaurant and he’d ask me what drink I’m going to order. He comes home from work with a case of beer and asks me if I want one.
How do I make him take me seriously and be more considerate about what I’m going through? I don’t want to tell him how embarrassed and psychologically shitty I am the morning after drinking because I do not want to talk about and remind him of what I did the night before. Honestly other people including my husband might think that what I did or say wasn’t a big deal, but it is to me.
that’s a tough one. I never was a drinker so i don’t know how hard it is to quit. I’m sure its just like every other addiction. the first time i got sober, I packed my stuff in the middle of the night and left (That’s was easy to do for me i just had roomates no family) i went to Las Vegas (I know I know) but they have really good rehabs out there. there was no way i was going to stop using if their was other users in the house
You could do some far out stuff on purpose so that he realises you have a problem. Try vomitting in his work shoes or do what i did to my wife… i pissed in an empty milk carton and forgot about it… she found it and had to get rid of it… thats kinda when she realised i had a problem.
You could even make a big scene in the restaurant. Then he will definitely think twice next time.
I know this isnt typical advice… but just offering an alternative to the usual; “sit him down and explain” type stuff you will get.
I think (well at least my case) alcohol is easier to quit than heroine physically although I’ve never tried heroine myself. What sucks about quit drinking is that it’s so easily accessible and almost 90% of people that I know drink. Almost every social event I go to involve drinking. I am planning to go MIA and focus on woking out and my kids.
You have to make choices that helps you and your kids. I can tell you what drugs made me do to mine. I’m an so lucky to have a kid with a very forgiving person. Talking to people helps just to have a conversation to take your mind off it. Like I said I don’t know anything about drinking withdrawal. If it’s anything like opiates. I feel very sorry for you but it does get better
I’ve been there so many times. Not just with my husband, but my whole family. If you feel that you have a problem, you need to address it for you with or without his support.
Are you feeling strong? Start making the change and tell him that you want his support on this, but you will need to keep at it regardless of whether he is helping you or not. It took a while for my husband to get that I was serious this time, but he’s on board now and I’m up to 111 days. My dad has said how proud he is of me (he drinks so much). It feels good, buy I know I’m doing this for me, not them.
Good luck, we’re all here for you
Thank you for the advice but I don’t know if I have the nerve to do that . It takes a lot for my husband to get mad. I read a post similar to my situation and one of the repliers said the reasons why the spouse isn’t supportive might be because 1.They don’t want to face their own problems and 2. They don’t want to lose a drinking buddy. These sound a lot like what my husband may be thinking.
Wow!! 111 days! Great job!!!
I just had a serious conversation with my husband and I think he’s got the idea, since we are always pretty goofy and not like having serious grown up conversations. It was easier than I thought it would be. I told him that I think I’m on an edge of alcoholism and I’m seriously giving up drinking. First thing he said was “but you drink like only twice a week” so I told him that two days of drinking effects more than half of the week. I told him how much I hate neglecting our kids because of hangovers, we have previously drank and drive with the kids in the past and that still haunts me though nothing happened. Basically I told him all the things I’ve done wrong because of alcohol and how much I regret, and he understood and told me he will be supportive of my new lifestyle. He said he never thought I was serious when I said I’m quitting. He thought there were those “omg I’m so hungover, I’m never drinking again” moments. I’m so glad to know that he understands what I’m trying to achieve now. I think he really like the fact that I told him that he’ll have a dd for rest of his life
Good job. The best of luck to you. I’m happy to hear that you’re doing this not just for your kids but for you to. Keep letting us know how your progress is going.
Today is day 3!! I did have some cravings yesterday after work. A margarita after a long day at work sounded so good, but I know that for me one margarita turns to five six, then shots of tequila come after. So I went to Taco Bell and got some frozen Mountain Dew Lemonade instead and it was delicious
