I can't drink normally


#23

It definitely comes with a sense of freedom, when you can realize that we don’t have to obsess over the next drink and all the details that come with only socializing with alcohol. It’s a sobering thought to consider all the time lost to laying in bed or not feeling up to doing things that were worth doing, but there is plenty of life left… and maybe with a greater appreciation of how it is approached:) I admire you noticing the need to change and not leaning on the excuse that you don’t have to drink everyday.


#24

I’ve started praying more and reading versus. I’ve always trusted in the Lord I’ve just gone astray and lost site of my purpose to serve Him and not myself. I get so consumed in drinking and I also think it’s because I drink them so quickly so people won’t notice. Since my tolerance is so high now I can drink double what others can. I am a very strong willed and determined person, I’ve just got to take it slow and relearn how my life was before being overtaken by alcohol. It’s going to be hard and a long road, but I’ve finally admitted to myself I am ready to start this journey of a better me. Not just for myself, but for my husband, son, family, and friends. I lost my Mom when I was 22 to an unknown illness. That has also put a huge strain on my mind as we were best friends… then at 27 was laid off after returning from maternity leave. As I was secretly happy to be able to stay at home with my baby I had no idea what financial hardship it was going to be. This is when my drinking really started spiraling out of control. I have complete faith I can make the transformation I just need moral support and this is my first step.


#25

It’s wonderful that you are here and I hope you find strength within this group and I strongly urge you to find some support groups within your own community things such as AA, lifering, church, and where I live we have a thing called Phoenix multi sport which is things like yoga, hiking, rock climbing, etc… for people who are sober.

I’m glad you are reconnecting with god too. Before I opened my heart, mind, and soul to my higher power I didn’t know there was a way to be sober that just wasn’t white knuckling it. Remember that despite our hardships in life we are constantly surrounded by gifts that god gives us, we just often ignore them. Something I find very helpful is to make a list of 10 things I am grateful for every day. They don’t have to be huge it can be as simple as “I had a good cup of coffee this morning”. I hope to hear more from you as you continue this journey. I promise it will be worth it.


#26

Thanks. I hate to steal the thunder from people that have more serious alcohol dependency but my Sunday blackout scares me to death.

I had become a waste of a person after my breakup. I’d only hang out around alcohol, get bored otherwise, and get trashed every time. People stopped inviting me anywhere and it got worse.

I’m amazed after all the terrible things that happened because of it, I kept doing it. That’s the insane part.


#27

That sounds serious enough to me! How are you feeling now? I felt great all day, but the urge to have some drinks when I get home from work is still there.


#28

I always find therapist interesting. There are so many fucking quacks out there that it’s crazy!! No one, no matter their schooling or training could ever tell someone they are not an alcoholic. I’ve heard people on here say similar things on here and it always baffles me.

Keep fighting YOUR fight pal and try not to go off what some quack of a therapist tells you


#29

I am starting fresh today. Huge binge drinker, once I start I can’t stop. This started a year ago after my wife had an affair. Progressed further, she left a feew months ago and kept it going. Tried to tell myself I was using it to cope, but now that just seems like BS. Feels great when I start, but I feel like the day after I hit it hard I just have several anxiety attacks the next day. I’m fearful of drinking now cause Everytime I do I spend all night sending her texts, which makes everything worse. I’m finally ready to admit I have no control once I start drinking.


#30

I texted my ex several times while piss drunk and frankly could have gotten in trouble for some of it. Drunk me is an idiot.


#31

The thought crossed my mind but not seriously. I’m still processing the whole never drink again part. It scares me a little.

It’s really hard for me to have fun without drinking. Even after a month sober. I try and try and it’s hard to let go.

Honestly getting drunk at home was pretty fun. Throwing up in bed and missing work, not fun. I don’t miss that ever.


#32

Honestly, I’m just learning that myself. I have sat totally quiet and bored at functions, not wanting to be around any of the people there. Suddenly someone breaks out the drinks and they are the best people in the world and I’d have the time of my life. That’s not real. That’s only me drinking booze, and other people happen to be there. I keep seeing bands I like booked at places I like to go, but I’m not sure I’m ready for that. This weekend I’m going to a festival, but only during the day. I can’t imagine not drinking forever either, but I do want to get to the place where I can.


#33

One time my mom won tickets to see Lewis Black and I was so excited. I convinced my friend to get a drink first. I spent a hundred dollars that night and did not even pay attention to the show. I drunk texted the whole time…


#35

I can totally relate!! I am hating myself this morning for the same reason!! Good luck to you on your sobriety journey!!!


#36

Normal, schnormal! Alcohol is bad for everyone. There are a zillion ways to abuse it. The easiest way not to let it hurt you is, just dont drink it.


#38

Think of alcohol as something you are allergic to. If you were allergic to strawberries would you eat them.


#39

Good allegory. It’s delicious until terrible things start happening.


#40

Smart Recovery is an alternative. It’s base on cognitive behavior therapy. The meetings are run by a facilatater where discussion is encouraged. Many have been helped by Smart. It has 4 main tenants that are taught:
Managing thoughts, feelings and behaviors
Coping with urges,
Building and maintaining motivation
Living a balanced life

Even if you can’t find a meeting near you, there’s tons of information on line as well as on line meetings.

I am 13 months sober which is quite a feat for me, as I had a very long history of relapse. Smart fosters a sense of community as well as someplace where people can tell what is going on in their lives.

I wish you well and to not give up. You do have a choice.


#41

AA is for anyone who wants to quit drinking. You can read the book of Alcoholics Anonymous (free digital version on the AAWS website) and decide for yourself. If you feel the book resonates with you, maybe try a meeting. You’d be surprised how many people in AA started with “this isn’t for me”.

Regardless of the path you take, may it lead to a happy sober life.


#42

I too have a similar story and just made the decision I cant have just one either. I’m 27 so it’s hard to admit, accept, or think that it’s forever and I can’t drink but I try to focus on how it seems to always get away from me and once I get one the little something in my head says it’s ok for one more and then one more and hey we are all having a good time… until we aren’t. Thanks for sharing, now I know I’m not alone . It’s scary to think I am sober now so I try to just keep at it in the present moment and worry about the whole identity of sober later. I’m warming up to it more everyday. I am at 1 month and 16 days. It’s the longest I’ve ever gone since I was 17. Ten years now. Everyday I get closer to accepting it is what it is. And It’s exhausting because yeah it’s a feeling of I can’t relax and enjoy I have to guard and protect myself


#43

I feel like committing suicide.What have i not done God help me!!!

I just cannot stop drinking once i start,i will stay sober for 1 to 2weeks then comes back edge to drink and am always very convinced that i will be able to control myself.

All my friends drink alcohol,and its very difficult for me to be in an environment without alcohol.

I have been binge drinking for about 3years now and am afraid i might lost my family…I left the house on Friday for a drink and only came back on Sunday Night drinking from bar to bar.i don’t know what to do anymore,the shame and embarrassment is just too much i cannot take it anymore


#44

Start by asking for help, @Manu. If there is AA in your town/region, go to meetings and share - you will be surprised how many people feel exactly like you.
I was once desperate and ready to kill myself, but I asked for help and help is what I got. There is a solution, but you have to be willing to get it. Little can be done for the alcoholic who doesn’t want to be helped.
I hope you find your support and crawl out of the darkness that is alcohol addiction.