I’ve told my boyfriend and he is clearly upset. Does anyone have advice on how to work through something like infidelity? I haven’t had anything to drink since that night.
The reason i had to quit drinking is because of this…
All i could do was to be honest with my wife and try to explain to her that it wasn’t me…meaning that what happend wasnt something i would have ever done sober.
By doing that i had to accept that my drinking days were done…if drinking would cause me to cross that line then it was something i could no longer have in my life because a sober me would NEVER cross that line.
It’s taking time for my wife to deal with what happend but it’s getting a little easier every day…mostly because i have kept my commitment to my sobriety which in turn is proving to her my commitment to our relationship.
I hope this made sense…
This is a tough situation to go through because the trust has been broken. Do you have a sponsor? Are you going to meetings? These are the first steps I would suggest for you. If the person you are changes when you drink, you need to not drink. AA meetings can help with the not drinking part, working the 12 steps helps with you and who you want to be as a person. It takes work, it isn’t easy but it is simple.
I believe that everyone is different and we have to always respect the feelings of our significant other.
Putting down alcohol is going to have to be the first thing you do. My husband and I always tell eachother that cheating is a dealbreaker.Thats the one thing we couldn’t get past.Well one day he told me that he has come to terms that if I kissed someone while blacked out he would be very upset but doesnt know if he would leave me.This made me question him and wonder why he would ever say that…He then explained to me how I am a completely different person when I drink, and I never remember any of it.He told me I am mean, and do and say things I wouldn’t normally.That he thinks you can’t hold a grudge on a person who blacked out.
This hurt me deeply to think that he thinks that way.That he is preparing for the worst.This was the start of me questioning my alcoholism.
If your boyfriend feels the same and can forgive you I suggest you stop drinking so it doesn’t become something repetitive. We should always be finding ways to better ourseleves not just for our own happiness but for the people we love.
Good luck, I wish you the best.