I have been a drinker since I was 22. I can skip a few days during the week but usually drink every night on the weekends, at least a 6 pack of beer, so by Sunday I’m so tired and lethargic and cranky that I just sit around and feel bad thinking about how I came to this…and then I have a nap. At one point I didn’t even know what it was like to go to bed sober because it had been so long. I at least don’t do that anymore.
I’ve been told that I’m a high functioning alcoholic…I think I just have a higher tolerance from all the beer I drink. I used to be straight edge, no drugs and alcohol but that quickly changed once I got older. I love beer and being drunk. I used to brew beer and thought about starting a brewery but I realized that’s a bad idea as an alcoholic. I crave it so bad at night sometimes that I feel like I need to be chained up so I don’t make it to the fridge or to the car to buy more.
My wife wants me to quit and get in shape and my 4 yr. old daughter calls me the beer guy…I’m getting a gut when I used to work out and look and feel good. Is there a secret to just stopping? Is this a constant battle? I’m tired of the hangovers and tired of having no control to just stop or only have a few beers on the weekend. Alcoholism runs in my family too. I have told myself “one day I’m just going stop”…for years now. Longest I’ve made it without a drink was 5 days…
It’s a tough one to hear a beautiful little four year old references your drinking. My daughter used to ask if we were getting me more wine every time we passed that section of the grocery store. Ouch!
Make the decision to quit and get focused. Parts of this journey will be hard and some parts will be so incredible that you forget about the hard parts. Get educated on the subject and have your wife get involved in the process.
And keep coming back here and posting and reading. This is an incredible group of people that are ready to support you and answer any questions you have along the way.
You really have to weigh what is most important to you in your life. I personally had stopped many times. Either due to deployments or training.
Last year I stopped 84 days. I never thought I had an issue. Then once I realized I did. I didn’t care for a long time. I think I had a death wish.
I felt I had nothing. So I was nothing. I see I was so very wrong.
You are blessed. You have a daughter who calls you the beer guy. That is a clarion call to you. Think about what kind of man her father is ,she will grow up seeing.
One day she will start to date and have relationships. Is your example you set now something A : you would be comfortable with her doing as an adult ? Or B: the character traits you would be okay with in her boyfriend or spouse.
Beyond that think of where you want to be years down the road. How athletic you were . If that is what you want again.
Drinking is a deal with the devil. You have to determine if the prices you are paying now and will later is worth it.
Commitment is where it is at. That and brutal honesty with oneself.
That is what I have learned and seen from others with many sober years.
I hope this helped in some way. Take care of yourself. Never give up hope.
Time to take the ‘beer goggles’ off and see it for exactly what it is - POISON
Beer was my DOC, my companion, at times it was my only friend in a day.
Funny how I chose to ignore all the negatives that came with it.
I became fat, sluggish, clothes no longer fitted and I struggled to climb stairs.
Then of course, there’s the dehydration, headaches, vomiting, gastritis. Wow, some friend that was.
Since beer and I split up - I’ve lost a ton of weight. And I’ve gone from gasping for breathe at the top of the stairs to cycling for miles!
Hi - I’m just stopping myself- I started going to AA meetings - didn’t think it was for me but the people are so supportive and non judgmental - and you get to hear other people’s stories and know that you’re not alone
The secret that I found is that I could not stop on my own. Even tho I wanted to. Even tho my wife was leaving me and taking my 3 year old son with her. I could not stop. I didn’t understand why I just couldn’t fecking stop!!
So out of pure desperation I went to an AA meeting. I went and I listened. Someone there told me “you don’t have to drink today Gabe”. That grabbed my attention so I went again. And kept going
I learned that it took an alcoholic to help another alcoholic. It took someone that knew where I was emotionally and physically. It made me see that I was not alone. Cuz being alone sure as fuck wasn’t working.
That’s what helped me. And this app. Great people here! So you’re in the right place man. Just talk and listen and I know you will find strength!
The secret is that we have a daily reprieve, which means we do this deal 24 hrs at a time. We aren’t promised tomorrow or next week. All we have is today. Don’t be afraid to ask for help (there’s millions of us in recovery), work on the WHY you drink in the first place, learn to feel without numbing out, and most importantly…do it for yourself…because you deserve better than being caught in this obsessive cycle of pain and misery.
Didn’t drink last night! I got up early this morning and went for a walk too. I’m trying to do more of what I think will make me happier and healthier. I hope to create distractions and ways to prevent myself from being pressured by my idiot, troublemaker (ex!) friend, alcohol. I’ve also found a natural carbonated drink that I really like which helps.
I remember the night I became an alcoholic (I was probably 24 at the time). Myself and a buddy of mine had just finished our late night off-roading adventures and ended up at the top of a hill that overlooked the city which was a common spot for local off road truck owners to hang out; by that time, I was 6 beers down and had the music blasting. It was about 70° that night with a gusty wind. I walked to the edge of the mountain in front of my truck and just put my arms up and smiled as the wind blew by. I felt so relaxed, like everything would be fine. I felt happy, comfortable, motivated, focused, fun. Soooo many good things. That was when I was younger and didn’t get hangovers though. I quickly started drinking often to get back to that. I’ve built up such a tolerance that I don’t even feel those good feelings anymore, maybe for about 30 minutes, then I’m just pissed off that I’m drinking again, can’t sleep and feel terrible the next day. I feel like I’ve moved on with my life and my old, obnoxious buddy alcohol is jealous and trying to drag me down…
I’ll just keep remembering “Sobriety delivers everything alcohol promised.”
Tonight will be my second night. Honestly, I’ve only drank one night this week after a really bad hang over for father’s day. I still have a fridge full of beer but after reading these posts, my thoughts are a lot different towards drinking to get drunk. Today and every day I’m not hung over I feel great! Better than I do when I’m drunk even. I cherish my sober morning walks and feeling good and productive at work. It’s difficult going from craft beer connoisseur and brewer to kicking it to the curb. But like Zara said, it’s time that beer and I split up.
Good job @jjooohhnn on your day 2, I’m on my day 2 also AGAIN! I usually make it to day 3 and mess up by thinking I can only have 1 and quit. That never happens! So, I got up today and felt great and went to the gym and had a good sweat. I plan on getting up in the morning and going back and trying to make this my routine, cook healthier meals and get some long over due spring cleaning done since I’m off this summer.
Good luck with what ever you deside. But you need to think about this, there is such a thing as a part time addict / alcoholic. Either maybe a talk with your higher power for guidance to figure out what is important to you. The alcohol or the life long opinion of your daughter. Me its really none of my business. But when I quit useing it was important not only to me bit to the future of my grandchildren. Seeing that alcoholism is hereditary. I will pray with you. And don’t forget to thank your higher power for the blessings he has already bestowed upon you. So he or she is sure to bless you with many more..
