I was wondering what you guys would do if you were me
I feel like I’m spiraling back and forth to being ok to not being ok somedays are better than others and I’m not shere what to do not to long ago my primary care doctor ask me how I was and I said I was ok but yet somehow I feel like I’m not only lying to myself I’m lying to people that want to help me but thing is sometimes that’s hard for me to figure out who’s really there and who really isn’t you know
and she also began reading into my file and asked about my mental health because one of the things she was not to shere about was me being bipolar because it’s in question but no one diagnosed me that yet
but in a way I feel like maybe they are right maybe I am bipolar because the way that I feel know a days are crazy annoying and I just can’t seem to get away from it sometimes
Not to long ago me and my husband kinda gotten into a somewhat fight wasn’t big but still kinda sat with me if you know what I mean and it was that kinda thing where it wasn’t that big of a deal but it really seemed to me that it was a little bit especially when at a certain moment I felt like I wasn’t heard and this is what he said that kinda made me feel bad and kinda question things
he said there are easier things to deal with then me because I just can’t seem to let things go especially when it’s just a tiny and minor inconvenience that can be easily fixed
I don’t know what else to say maybe some of you might understand and make sense of it Or maybe not
it’s just kinda hard to talk to really anyone about theys kinda things because not a lot of people can understand this kinda thing
especially when you have a background of mental health issues and your an addict because you just get to easily judged and things
but anyway thank you guys for your time to hear me out I appreciate it I hope you all have a great rest of your night
Hey there! Theres no need to feel stupid about asking a question. Its a good question actually! I have some mental health stuff that Im taking medication for. I have always been extremes with my mood. Im either highly sensitive (where I hold onto “minor” things and take things personally), or im the complete opposite (where i dont give a “f” and dont care about anything). My medication helps me sort of find balance.
I can see how what ur husband said made u feel judged and upset. I mean, i wasnt there during this conversation obviously, but to me (by the words he used), hes just stating something that hes noticing… that u hold onto these minor inconveniences that can be fixed.
Sometimes, its hard for us to see whats happening with our mental health, unless someone points things out. Thats what happened for me too. And once I realized this was happening and how it was hurting my relationships, i began to be honest and seek help from professionals. And thats not easy to do for sure. For me it was trust issues with these professionals. Once i felt truly “safe” opening up, I let me guard down and the healing began.
Maybe the 1st step would be to find someone u truly feel “safe” with. Ur only hurting urself by not being honest about how ur feeling and where ur at. Im glad u came on here to share. I hope it helped u feel a bit better
I don’t think I can say anything better than @Butterflymoonwoman did, just joining in to say that I really really wish I’d gotten medicated for my anxiety years before I actually did. People mentioned it to me but I just didn’t want to hear that I needed to be “fixed”. But gosh. Life is so much easier now. Not perfect, but easier. Something did need to be fixed: the chemicals in my brain.
I think it’s wonderful that you’re asking questions and looking for help, and I am glad you’re here with us.
I can only speak from my own experience, but for any concerns about mental health I would definitely recommend seeking psychiatric support.
You can’t just think/mindfulness your way out of brain chemistry. That’s why alcohol and substances are so interlinked - self medication. I’m trying to cope with the mood shifts by altering my brain, but unfortunately it’s not in a controlled way. Medication has been the only way I have been able to control (to some extent) what my brain is doing.
I’m 11 days in now (second time around - I managed 8 months last time) and I’m tracking all experiences incl. some bipolar symptoms in my post here
If you can’t access psychiatric support, try to read around the subject as I find reading about the symptoms and the overlaps with other issues (anxiety, body dysmorphia, self harm… and countless others) really helped me get to know who these two people inside me are
Hay just an update on the last post I posted still kinda feeling the same way somewhat sad but true im also recently going through flashbacks about things that I’ve chosen to avoid and forget but yet my brain in a way just doesn’t really want me to I’ve thought about getting a therapist but thing is can’t really afford one so I thought maybe if I came on here maybe one of you could suggest something and if not that’s fine to
I’ve been going through this for a while now actually let’s be honest more then a while but at times I don’t care to admit it because I have to be strong and push through like I was taught through my whole entire life as I was growing up but who knows maybe one of you will be helpful like you were in my last post
like I said before thanks for listening it’s been pretty awesome seeing how many of you that are on here an seeing how many of you that actually care I appreciate you and your guys support I hope you all have a great rest of your night
My dad had this saying when we were growing up: “you’re either a hacker or a squeaker”. You either tough it out and get through things or you whine and complain. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I realized how screwed up that was. I found it impossible to ask for help, even when I truly needed it, because I wanted to be a “hacker”.
All this to say, being strong all the time is both impossible and awful. We all need help. My two cents is that a good therapist is worth making some sacrifices for, but if you can’t do that, then books and podcasts may at least be a good place to start to help you understand some of how you’re feeling.
Maybe you are right sorry I didn’t get back sooner I’ve just been trying to make it through the day with my sobriety intact because every time my mental health comes to play so does my addict side I don’t know if that makes any sense but that’s the only way I can explain it
im not a big book reader especially know that I have kiddos but if you have any suggestions on audiobooks I’d love to give that a try thanks again for reaching out I am sorry that you had to hear that as you were growing up I kinda had to hear the same thing especially when I was about the age of 6 when I kinda asked to many questions or whatever and my cousin turned and yelled in my face and said why do you ask so many stupid questions especially to the ones that you already know the answer to them from that day on I kinda shut down and kinda stopped talking all the time
it just doesn’t stop there I have so much to say but yet I’m scared to say it especially when it comes to people that I hardly know so it honestly takes a lot for me to come on here and ask things or even Shere something because in my mind I feel like you guys are going to make fun of me or telling me to stop asking stupid question things like That
but thank you for not doing that and staying long enough to hear me out and suggest some helpful suggestions I appreciate it and I hope you have a great rest of your night
We’re pretty easy going here, you never have to apologize for a delay in responding, or for asking an honest question.
I don’t know enough about your situation to recommend an audiobook or podcast that will resonate with what you’re going through, but I bet you could ask Google. Sometimes it’s nice just to know that we’re not alone, that other people have walked this path before.
We don’t do such mean behaviour here
I’m no audiobook user, but I guess many books are available as audiobooks too, so you might look into it.
Share away, a burden shared is a burden halfed.I’m glad you keep coming back. No worries about answering times or asking questions, as @Kjcj said, we are pretty easygoing here. Check in as it is helpful for you
bipolar 2 person here 
