51 years old. Daily drinker for a few years. Covid helped with that. Usually just get silly and happy and maybe stub a toe or something, but my fiancée of 7 years also liked the booze and she liked to fight. Tried getting her to stop drinking with me but she would always cave a few days in. Tried to get her to go to counseling with me to address the verbal abuse when she got too drunk. Friends noticed it at times as well. Finally set my boundary in the last fight three weeks ago and told her therapy or move out. She chose the easy way out and devastated me. I leaned on booze for a couple weeks. I also smoke heavily when drinking and I’ve wanted to stop that for years as well. To top it off, I have a C4-C7 disc fusion surgery in my neck in 12 days. I’m terrified and she left at the worst time possible. That being said, I am determined not to drink again after all that. And I won’t smoke if I don’t drink. I can’t have alcohol two weeks before surgery and during recovery obviously so that’s really giving me the motivation to stop. I got this. In 2 1/2 hours it will be three days without booze or a cigarette.
life really is throwing a lot at you all at once but I can promise you one thing, alcohol has never solved a single one of my problems in over 30 years of drinking. it might have delayed them until I regained consciousness but there they were waiting to be dealt with. Eventually we can’t even take care of ourselves let alone anything else.
Your doing the right thing. Good luck with your surgery and don’t take your partner leaving you so personally that might sound odd but that’s the power of alcohol, once it gets its claws into us we will choose it over everything even our own children. it wants us to itself and we are powerless over it.
Despite your positive attitude, the experience here and for me in particular is that we cannot get and stay sober alone. Check out these threads for ideas on how to grow your sobriety.
It’s great that you’ve set that healthy boundary for yourself ! Bigs ups to you and your journey … I can understand the scary feelings of surgery , I have c3&c4 bulging and have been recommended for surgery ! The terrified feeling is 100% normal and valid. You’re a warrior fighting through day by day .