Trying to better my myself but always find myself un square up early in the morning..
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Welcome home
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Sorry to hear that. Relapse is one more proof (as if we needed it) that we have an addiction 
Here on Talking Sober is a good place to start learning how not to relapse 
This thread has lots of useful resources to get you started:
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try ameeting might help you wish you well
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writing out the pros and cons of using (or staying straight) might be helpful
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Welcome to the community. I found that putting some distance between myself and the next drink (asking someone to hang on to my cards/ID, not keeping drinks in my home, not going to events with alcohol) helped in early sobriety. Sometimes eating sweet or sour foods also helped kick me out of a state of craving. Just focus on making it through one day (or hour) at a time. Stay connected here and we can help.
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Thanks everyone. I really appreciate it a lot. Nobody knows of my problem so i dont have the support here. Once again i relapsed today. Its hard when the people around you have it ready
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