Hello and welcome to the forum! 
As a former binge drinker I know the feeling after one of those blackouts all too well. And I also remember how scary and difficult the idea of being sober seemed at first. You are not alone 
I’m linking to a post I was writing on yesterday cos there is some great advice there…
https://talkingsober.com/t/no-drink-no-fun/132882?u=siand
I appreciate if you work at a bar alcohol is hard to avoid! Saying that it can still be done - @Faugxh do you work in a bar or have I made that up?!
This post also has lots of helpful forum info and links to other threads too (some of the replies do need updating a bit, but hopefully still useful!)
Connecting with other people who get it here has been so helpful to me over the past few years. I hope you find it is too! 
