So, I am currently about to start my journey… this has been on my mind for such a long time but the problem I have is I have always related drinking to fun. This meaning that anywhere I go for let’s say of an evening whether it be for food or out to socialise it always or has always involved drink.
The problem is when I drink I don’t tend to stop… typical binge drinker. Don’t need or rely on it but yet once I do start it’s challenging to stop. So this normally ends with me falling out with ppl, embarrassing myself and just generally causing havoc. Hence why I feel I should stop and also for health. Drinking too much and black outs are not healthy for know one and will probably only end badly right?
So the thought of going out in the same environment without drinking doesn’t seem to excite me. Which in turn makes me feel boring, you could say an introvert. How do you get past this? I mean, I guess when I was a kid I didn’t need drink to have fun but these days it is what I’m that used to doing. Is it just a time thing, change of friends or change of activities?Any advice on this…
Thanks in advance.
Because its not fun the next day when I’m sat pondering the mistakes I have made and the people I have upset through the person I become. See I tend to binge drink. Kinda once I start I don’t stop untill the sun’s come up or passed out or worse some sort of trouble has arose. I should of probably mentioned that in the post ay? Can I edit the post. Suppose this would let ppl understand why I want to stop.
Thanks
That environment doesn’t excite me either, so I figured out what does excite me whilst being sober, and I do that instead. There’s a million other things to go do, find your jam
That’s some solid sound advice. And your right…
I always try to justify the good nights and tell myself it’s OK to drink. But 1 bad night I far more worse than several good nights combined. So what your saying is completely true. Acceptance of the truth. Alcohol is creating problems and yet these problems can be taken away by simply taking Alcohol away.
I guess in time it becomes easier but for now I just need to stick to my plan. Stay away from anywhere that may trigger my desire to drink. Stay focused and work hard on living again without drink.
At the end, as I can understand by your words, nothing good happens. So, finally, booze only brings embarrassment, blackouts and hangovers.
Which is the supposed the bad side of not having alcohol?, boredom, being introvert, etc. The question is, is there something wrong being this way? Maybe the time is longer, maybe social meetings are awful, but we have to keep in mind that boredom exists and not everything should be funny in life.
I think is preferible to stay sober, boring and introvert than drunk, artificially happy and ready to pass a period of regrets and depression. (Keep in mind that the one that write this is a boring and introvert man)
Everything is preferible rather than booze. What is first is first.
And there it is. When you think back of you childhood no kids birthday or party or any social gathering as a kid ended up in a catastrophe right? It’s the booze that make you become this awful person. The thing is we can’t stop once we start because we are addicted to this shit. So that’s why you want to stop because it gives you no joy. It’s just the illusion of the moment. Your brain wants to tell you that you like alcohol.
Have you really tried or is it fear of boredom ?
I find some social meetings boring when sober, meaning they are actually boring, but parties with friends are still fun, because it’s with my friends. And I don’t end finishing the night wasted and blacking out with no memories the next morning.
I love going to music concerts, and find them even better than when I was drunk or high or high and drunk. The emotions I feel during gigs are there, vivid, and I remember it the next day, which is cool
That’s exactly it. My mind is always saying yea it’s OK, have a drink have “fun” but before I do, I do find myself feeling that I probably shouldn’t. Even if it doesn’t end badly which in turn is not all the time, I do find myself in situations I wouldn’t normally be in. But more so these days the anxiety the next day and terrible hang overs are just getting worse.
But back to the point yea as we say “fun” I need to find myself again. Fun is not alcohol, it’s an well you could say an emotion right? It shouldn’t be fueled by alcohol. Should just be felt by the person, a feeling from within. I know I will get there. I’m just going to stay away from anywhere I feel I will cave for a while and then maybe gradually try to do the activities that would normally involve drink but without
Well ro be honest I did go to a family meal the other day where I drove and didn’t drink. Strangely enough I had a great time full flowing conversation with no pauses or real awkwardness and I did actually think to myself self then how lovely it was not to drink. Its times like these that do make me feel its the right thing to do by stop drinking. But times like these are rare where would feel that way. Or maybe your right actually, the truth is I guess that I haven’t actually tried I’m only assuming by what I think it may be like…
Good point thanks.
I’m the same as you once I start I can’t stop I never drank daily or even weekly I could go a month or 2 without alcohol but once I put that first drink in I’m off and running then my problems pile up after that I call myself a binge alcoholic 100 is never enuff and 1 is too many I use this app but I also use AA and CA good luck on your journey
Last person i drank with was a chronic alcoholic who couldnt speak, so im just sitting there on the couch listening to incoherent ramblings. So for me drink wasnt any fun
I think alot of ppl will relate man. It was fun untill it wasn’t fun. Eventually landed myself 3 dwis, no license in almost 10 years now. Dove into other drugs suicide attempts the list goes on for me. The best thing with sobriety is we give are life back, we now have the ability to do whatever the fuck we want, the part that’s hard is are minds trying to tell us we need alcohol to do those things but when we use alcohol we tend to just do that rather than the original shit we intended on doing. For me drugs and alcohol definitely ended up consuming me and progressing. Even after a year sober I thought I could drink and handle it again eventually spiraling right back to who I use to be. Ppl, places and things. You’ll find more fun shit to do with other ppl, yeah you’ll mourn some shit but you’ll grow stronger each day, when I’m drinking I’m getting in some sort of trouble it’s nice waking up knowing I didn’t say or do some dumb shit the night before. Best of luck bud it’s worth it
I can relate to exactly what your saying… see when I drink that’s when all the bad choices are made in the exact way you just described. Again fall back with ppl I used to mix with in my earlier days ending in the same troubles. Basically just taking steps back in life rather than forward. I have come along way in life and I only intend move forward and to progress further. Stopping drinking is definitely a key part in that.
Cheers mate all the best on your path too.
It takes a little uncomfortableness at first, and it will seem as though you’re not having the “fun” you used to, but, you start to realise after a little time sober that you’re not actually missing out on any “fun”. Rather, you’re now choosing not to use alcohol to fake a good time. If a party, event or any situation is “fun” because you drank alcohol, and yet you end up like you described - hungover, miserable and regretful, then there wasn’t any real fun had. The more sober time I had the more I started to realise what was genuinely fun and a good time - I learned that there are some things that I LOVE doing and they’re even better done - more enjoyable - when sober. Life is actually full of wonderment and excitement but alcohol dulls it and has us believe we need it to enjoy life/activities. Its actually a farce - life is WAY more fun when you don’t have alcohol in your system that’s my experience anyway. I had 2.5 yrs sober and had SO much fun, I was enjoying my life. I stupidly thought that I could drink again tho, and
I went back to have that type of “fun” again just recently - turns out, NO fun was had. Only the same 'ol shit showed up though - blackout drunk, then shame, embarassment, hungover, depressed, anxious. I wish i trusted what I already knew, and didn’t have that alcohol. But, lesson learnt, definitely no fun there. Thankfully I learned that lesson again quickly and I’m back to living my best life - my sober life!
What @emc2018 said is so spot on, I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Those “fun” situations you are speaking about are most likely just instances of you and your friends killing boredom by drinking. Alcohol can make you feel like you’re having fun for a very brief period of time but the consequences are never worth it.
All those “fun” times you’ve had while drinking are situations that a sober person would probably find boring and irritating. Alcohol is like the ultimate time waster…it numbs your brain enough that any sort of mindless activity can seem enjoyable for at least a little while. I can tell you that from experience because I wasted about 12 years of my life drinking. I’ve lived more in the last year and a half than I did in all of those 12 years combined.
The key is to break out of those boring routines that involve sitting around and drinking and doing nothing. Find new hobbies and activities; things that are actually fun.
The thing that many people don’t realize when they first stop drinking (myself included) is that when you are sober you will have a lot more expendable income to use for hobbies. Take advantage of that and embrace sobriety
Honestly, for me, fun is what I make of it. I am new to recovery again and ya I do find myself alittle on the boring side… but it’s all how I look at it. Using and drinking and doing the same damn thing day in and day out is actually very boring and in reality recovery has given me the chance to experience so many new and exciting things!!! Things I would never normally try and now I absolutely enjoy! When quitting drugs I truly had to change alot. Change people, places, and things. I made new friends in recovery who were on the same path as me. And they showed me that living in recovery can be fun! Sober dances (dancing sober was a huge 1st for me lol), Outings for coffess, I even went camping for the 1st time in my life through the CA program. And being able to remember these moments and build relationships with others is even better! And to be quite honest, I’d rather be slightly boring than be where I was in active addiction. I’ll take boring over the shit I felt and the things I did to myself and others.
that’s my experience anyway. I had 2.5 yrs sober and had SO much fun, I was enjoying my life. I stupidly thought that I could drink again tho, and
