Little Red Book is a good one !
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Man thank y’all. I’m at rock bottom. One more time and I’ll lose everything. My wife and kids deserve better. I choose right now to fix this. Thanks for the tough love and kind words. I’ve really let this get out of hand. Now is the time. Thanks again.
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We are all here for you, rooting for you, keep us updated, fight a good fight. Choose sobriety today. If you keep doing that everyday, your life will get better! 
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What will you do, specifically? And when?
No disrespect intended, but you have said similar things before. What can change here is you choose something specific you will do.
Where will you go, what will you attend, and when?
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Did an Aa zoom meeting this morning. Looking into gettin a sponsor and maybe some counseling this week. And coming here on the daily. Any other suggestions?
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That’s a good start. The great thing about online meetings is you can go to as many as you want, 24 hours a day. A meeting is a safe place 
Keep it up! Share here and get some encouragement from others, and offer some encouragement to others - it’s a nice feeling
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Watch out for that devil whispering in your ear: “a drink would be great now”. It will come, 100% guaranteed. It’s bullshit.
When that devil comes, drop whatever you’re doing and sign in to a meeting. Or share about it here. Reach out for help - make a habit of reaching out, instead of sinking into it. It will help 
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Read at least the first 164 pages of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, get a sponsor, go to as many in person meetings as you can so you get more opportunities to hear things that click in your head and tell you, “ I don’t want to live like I am living anymore” and “ I don’t have to live like I am anymore”
Most importantly, keep an open mind and having the willingness to change is key.
That’s my recommendation and a little bit of what I’ve done that had worked so far for me.
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Stick with it, Zach, even when everything in you is fighting it. I’m rooting for you! 
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Maybe talk to your doctor about Naltrexone or Antabuse. Antabuse helped me somewhat.
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Another one
We men are generally very, very poorly trained to recognize or express our emotions. (Our society raises men to be the strong silent type. This is a huge problem, because men are just as human as anyone else and have just as many emotions - but because men often don’t even recognize their emotions, they aren’t able to use emotional awareness to find healthy ways through life. So… they get stuck in anger or resentment or addiction or all three at once.)
Practice taking an inventory of your feelings each day.
Start simple. “I feel good because of [something measurable, like “my boss gave me credit for something at work”].” “I feel bad because of ____.” Good and bad are real feelings, so it’s a perfect place to start.
Once you get the hang of that, try diving into some specific types of feelings. (This will help you recognize how your feelings are a tool to help you get the things you need.) This is a good resource here:
https://www.cnvc.org/training/resource/feelings-inventory
Use the list of feelings together with this list of needs, like this: “I feel ____ because ____[need] was / wasn’t met.” (Try to tie it to something specific, an event or another specific, measurable thing.)
https://www.cnvc.org/training/resource/needs-inventory
This will be very helpful for you to make progress on your sobriety. Feelings are huge. Feelings - especially unrecognized feelings - are a huge part of why we numb ourselves with booze or other addictions. Learning to recognize feelings and accept them, is part of getting healthy (and sober).
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A lot of my feelings like a lot of other people here stem from things in my childhood. Abusive father who was mentally Ill from Vietnam. Other things that happened that no child should have to go through. Things I still struggle with. I do think counseling would be great for me. To work through these. I’m looking In To it first thing Monday.
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I was shitfaced drunk. It was just a typo
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Yes you can, it’s terribly hard. I had almost 6 yrs AF before I screwed up. I wasn’t thinking about drinking at all. I was totally in control and then I screwed up because one night during a get together there was alcohol everywhere. I needed support as I knew I couldn’t resist the temptation. No one was around to reach out to and I was surrounded by alcohol that night. 9 yrs have gone by since that night and I’ve regret it all the time. I have 95 days today. It can be done and you have a lot of support here. You need to find support close home as well. Wishing you the best.
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Yeah I’m a trauma drinker too. Part of my relapse was because my triggers had come back into my life an alcohol fueled get together just finished it off. The other part was my addictions fault (so mine). It’s difficult however the alcohol doesn’t help. We think it’s fixing the trauma but it’s not. You need to reach out to a therapist or someone who can help you through that
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In the future, please do not post on the main forum while under the influence as it’s against the forum rules. It can very easily trigger someone in recovery and cause them to relapse, so we discourage it.
However, we have created a category specifically for those who post when under the influence and we move threads there as necessary.
The Seeking Help category is an opt in, so once you opt in you can go ahead and create your topic there and reach out for support.
Here’s the link to opt into the seeking help category:
http://talkingsober.com/groups/Seeking_Help
Here’s the link to the Seeking Help category:
http://talkingsober.com/c/seeking-help
If you have any questions, please send a PM to @moderators.
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That’s one of the reasons you’re so negative about yourself: it’s gotta be perfect or it’s worthless, nothing in between. Abuse creates conditions perfect for that mindset: fear, desperately seeking love and acceptance while at the same time terrified of setting off the explosions, the rage. Desperately trying to keep things from blowing up. (Which is weird because he should be responsible for his emotions, not you. And yet, somehow, children sense they are responsible for keeping things from blowing up.)
But - that is in the past. I know it was hard and it still haunts you, but you are an adult now and you are responsible for your own emotions. Your father’s behaviour was a traumatic part of your past, but he is not the reason you do what you do today.
It’s good that you’re going for counselling Monday. That will help. You’ll strengthen your emotion management the same way you strengthen muscles at the gym, and you’ll come out stronger and healthier.
Keep it up brother, one day at a time 
Keep checking in here. You will reach your goals 
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@Zach2 it’s really wonderful news you’re pulling yourself up and making changes. Do them. Every fucking day. Do the next right thing. Is something I often tell myself, if things get hard and confusing.
Here are some links I find helpful.
Resources for our recoveryAdvice for the Newcomer and Constant Relapser
Mental health memes and discussion (Part 1)
Daily Gratitude List. Gratitude The Air Of Recovery
Hope to read your daily check in here. You can do it brother. I know because of all the miracles on this site. We have been where you are.
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Yep you’re right. Sorry. Won’t happen again
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No problem today. The struggle usually doesn’t hit me til bout day 3. Staying strong this week no matter what.
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