I’m done with this ce

Life in Recovery
24

That’s the easy way out.

If I can’t do it, I don’t have to try, right?

I can’t swim, so I don’t have to try to learn.
I can’t ride a bike, so I don’t have to try to learn.
I can’t climb that mountain, so I don’t even need to start walking up the trail.

If you say you can’t do it, it lets you not do it, and still preserve your pride, your sense of self-respect. I haven’t failed, because I didn’t try.

Where did you learn that failure was so risky, that it was better not to try? Who taught you to fear failure so much? Who taught you to feel that you had to be perfect in order to matter?

Who taught you that you couldn’t have any compassion for yourself?

I suspect the answer to that question will help you understand yourself a bit better. It might also help you open the door to self-acceptance, and progress in recovery.

Failure is part of life. Mistakes are part of life. Stumbles, falling down, is part of learning. You have to accept your imperfections, you have to look at yourself with compassion. With compassion, we learn and we grow. Without compassion, we live in fear, and we hide in a corner, because we’re paralyzed by the fear of being not good enough, we’re paralyzed by the thought, “What if I fail? What if I’m worthless?”

If we hide in the corner, if we hide in the nest, we never learn to fly. Come out of the nest Zach. Stop hiding in fear. You’re not worthless. and you are good enough. Come spread your wings and fly.

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25

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You can take the first steps to get yourself out of this drinking insanity cycle. You just can’t get caught up in self-pity, you need to find motivation to take the first step towards a better life and a better future.

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26

Bro. Everyone reaching out right now has probably said exactly the same words at some point. But here we are. You had some good days in here. Talk to us, how you doing?

Don’t wanna drink today, just “play the tape to the end.” What happens if you pick up? Remember these?

Not meant to shame or anything. But at some point we gotta look in the mirror and say, enough is enough. At least if ya don’t drink today, this kinda stuff doesn’t have to happen anymore.

Then what happens instead is totally up to you. But at least you can stand up straight for yourself, and for your family, if just for today. And that’s a start, right?

I never quit drinking forever. I just don’t drink for today.

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27

I don’t even want to remember all the times I was drunk and something bad could have happened to my girl working overnights as an EMT, I’m so glad I’m sober and able to be there for her if she needed me. Great reminder of why being sober is better. You can show up for people when they need you. Thank you.

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28

Just keep coming back, even if you are not ready to quit. Keep listening, keep reading. Maybe one day it will stick. Take it 30 minutes at a time.

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30

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I bought it on the Hazelden Publishing website.

Really good book and useful info so far :+1:t3:

Also picked up

“ the Little Red Book” and “ twenty-Four Hours a day”

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31

Little Red Book is a good one !

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32

Man thank y’all. I’m at rock bottom. One more time and I’ll lose everything. My wife and kids deserve better. I choose right now to fix this. Thanks for the tough love and kind words. I’ve really let this get out of hand. Now is the time. Thanks again.

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34

We are all here for you, rooting for you, keep us updated, fight a good fight. Choose sobriety today. If you keep doing that everyday, your life will get better! :muscle:t3: :sunglasses:

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35

What will you do, specifically? And when?

No disrespect intended, but you have said similar things before. What can change here is you choose something specific you will do.

Where will you go, what will you attend, and when?

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36

Did an Aa zoom meeting this morning. Looking into gettin a sponsor and maybe some counseling this week. And coming here on the daily. Any other suggestions?

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37

That’s a good start. The great thing about online meetings is you can go to as many as you want, 24 hours a day. A meeting is a safe place :innocent:

Keep it up! Share here and get some encouragement from others, and offer some encouragement to others - it’s a nice feeling :innocent:

Checking in daily to maintain focus #41

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38

Watch out for that devil whispering in your ear: “a drink would be great now”. It will come, 100% guaranteed. It’s bullshit.

When that devil comes, drop whatever you’re doing and sign in to a meeting. Or share about it here. Reach out for help - make a habit of reaching out, instead of sinking into it. It will help :slightly_smiling_face:

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39

Read at least the first 164 pages of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, get a sponsor, go to as many in person meetings as you can so you get more opportunities to hear things that click in your head and tell you, “ I don’t want to live like I am living anymore” and “ I don’t have to live like I am anymore”

Most importantly, keep an open mind and having the willingness to change is key.

That’s my recommendation and a little bit of what I’ve done that had worked so far for me.

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40

Stick with it, Zach, even when everything in you is fighting it. I’m rooting for you! :hugs:

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41

Maybe talk to your doctor about Naltrexone or Antabuse. Antabuse helped me somewhat.

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42

Another one :innocent:

We men are generally very, very poorly trained to recognize or express our emotions. (Our society raises men to be the strong silent type. This is a huge problem, because men are just as human as anyone else and have just as many emotions - but because men often don’t even recognize their emotions, they aren’t able to use emotional awareness to find healthy ways through life. So… they get stuck in anger or resentment or addiction or all three at once.)

Practice taking an inventory of your feelings each day.

Start simple. “I feel good because of [something measurable, like “my boss gave me credit for something at work”].” “I feel bad because of ____.” Good and bad are real feelings, so it’s a perfect place to start.

Once you get the hang of that, try diving into some specific types of feelings. (This will help you recognize how your feelings are a tool to help you get the things you need.) This is a good resource here:

https://www.cnvc.org/training/resource/feelings-inventory

Use the list of feelings together with this list of needs, like this: “I feel ____ because ____[need] was / wasn’t met.” (Try to tie it to something specific, an event or another specific, measurable thing.)

https://www.cnvc.org/training/resource/needs-inventory

This will be very helpful for you to make progress on your sobriety. Feelings are huge. Feelings - especially unrecognized feelings - are a huge part of why we numb ourselves with booze or other addictions. Learning to recognize feelings and accept them, is part of getting healthy (and sober).

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43

A lot of my feelings like a lot of other people here stem from things in my childhood. Abusive father who was mentally Ill from Vietnam. Other things that happened that no child should have to go through. Things I still struggle with. I do think counseling would be great for me. To work through these. I’m looking In To it first thing Monday.

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44

I was shitfaced drunk. It was just a typo

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46

Yes you can, it’s terribly hard. I had almost 6 yrs AF before I screwed up. I wasn’t thinking about drinking at all. I was totally in control and then I screwed up because one night during a get together there was alcohol everywhere. I needed support as I knew I couldn’t resist the temptation. No one was around to reach out to and I was surrounded by alcohol that night. 9 yrs have gone by since that night and I’ve regret it all the time. I have 95 days today. It can be done and you have a lot of support here. You need to find support close home as well. Wishing you the best.

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