Hey everyone. I haven’t written in a long time but there have been some issues lately that have made me want to and drink again. I realize why I drink, and I try to get past that to deal with everyday. I am taking care of my mom now full time and put my life on the back burner. She has multiple illnesses and now Alzheimer’s. I get stressed out and drink. So it’s not like I’m having fun drinking, I do it to kinda mask what I have to do everyday. Can anyone relate?
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Yes, I do my addiction to mask too. It’s like I’m stuck inside a fake comfort cycle: this will feel good (I say to myself), so I’ll do it. Inevitably the result is the same 
Fortunately there are ways out of this personal prison. It takes time but by reaching out and making time for sober time (here on Talking Sober, at meetings, reading quit-lit, etc), it is possible to get out of this jungle, one step at a time.
Welcome back! 
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Is there any way you could get help for the care of your mother?
One pillar of sobriety is to learn to deal w life in such a way that we don’t need to drink at it. You’re overwhelmed w your situation and your own needs are not being met. How can you change that?
The best to you!
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Thank you guys for reaching out. I am in the process of getting in some help for my awesome mom, working with the VA to get a nurse in. She is a wonderful woman. As am I! Just like everyone on here that helps everyone.
I’m just trying my best to stay happy and remember that I mean something in this world
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And also try to remind myself to not pull into the liquor store parking lot…
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Dont do it. It will make you feel more exhausted more tired more stressed - plus you will feel like shit cos you threw your time away. It’s not worth it, I promise you this.
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@nickipixie
Hey, first of all I want to say you are strong, brave and kind person because of taking care of your mother. I had in my family same situation, that dissease is very difficult to deal with. Is there posibillity for retirement home? Our case with grandmother was a bit difficult and insane so it was better if we put her in retirement home instead of trying to take care of her at home which resulted in years of strugle for both her and us. Maybe your case is not that complicated but just telling you our experiance, it was the biggest challange I faced.
I understand you fully as it was the most difficult period of my life, and really wish you to find time for yourself in this situation. To have time to take care of yourself and rest mentally and physically.
If we can support you in your sobriety, we are here and understand you.
All the best 
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You good Nicki?
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My dad had Parkinsons and Alzheimers i knew if i drank that wouldnt make it any easier i was lucky i had good friends in the fellowship who helped me stay sober maybe try ameeting might help wish you well
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Hi Faugxh, sorry it has taken me so long to get back. I am doing ok, it is my day one, again. I’m feeling a little anxious but trying to keep busy and not think about drinking. I’m excited to get this first day out of the way
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You are so right Ray, it definitely doesn’t make it easier. I’m ready to get back on wagon and make sure my mom is healthy and happy. Thank you all so much for being there for me
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Made it through day one! Day two is off to a good start, thought about getting a drink and worked through it. Decided to stay busy and keep my head up
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Good for you Nicki!
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This is almost identical to what my drinking turned into for me. I was drinking to escape my life (which honestly I am not sure why). I can’t relate to having anyone sick to take care of, but I, in my own mind thought that I needed to escape it. I thought… I can’t sit here in my living room and not drink and watch tv… When I could. I always could. I changed my WHOLE mindset about my life in that aspect. Though I didn’t have the same situation I completely understand the need to want to escape and deal with life…
Not everything is sunshine and rainbows… but it isn’t about how many times you can get hit… its about how many times you get hit and stand back up…
I live by that now.
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Yes I can totally relate. I was taking care of my mother and working full time. My grown daughter is helping me now and life is way better. Not just because of that but because I quit drinking and starting working on my mental health as well. It’s hard watching our parents age and what illnesses does to them. Keep up the good work! 
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I can definitely relate and I am sorry you and your Mom are going thru this. It is really hard being with our parents as they move thru their final years. You are shouldering a lot. And it is normal to feel sad and frustrated and a lot of feelings. I am sure your Mom appreciates all you are doing. 
I hope you are able to get some help in. Have you spoken with the Senior Center or Agency on Aging where you are (assuming you are in the US)? They may have some support or suggestions.
I do know you would feel better without the anxiety that drinking brings. Yes, it is hard to stop, but it also helps our brain and health and our pride and we all need some of that I think. 
My parents are 88 and 89 and my Mom is getting real forgetful and very frail. We just moved them to an Independent living place near us and while they have (thankfully) care there and eachother, it is still a lot of work. So bless you for being your Mom’s caregiver, I know what a huge stress and blessing that is.
We are here for you. If you can get out to meetings, they will help so so much. Having that outside support, plus us. Do not give up. You are worth it. 
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Hello everyone! I’m sorry to be out of touch, I do find that I crawl into a hole and like to stay there. I have some good news! I have nurses coming in and right now it does look like to things are moving forward. My mom is doing well and as healthy as can she can be. I had a set back. I guess that is another reason I haven’t been on, I feel like I let everyone down, including myself. I do have a positive outlook though
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My best friend has been helping me as well, just celebrated his one year sober!
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How are you doing?
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