I need to stop. I want to stop. I have not hit any kind of rock bottom but I’m at barely functioning status. I have a professional job I’m showing up to late with puffy eyes and vague excuses. Sleeping through alarms. Why can’t I stop? I even have medication that will help me through withdrawal. But I can’t seem to stop going to the store after work and grabbing the liquor. I even have my kids fetching me beer at this point. It’s so shameful. I feel so crappy. But why can’t I stop?
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Hi
Welcome. Your in the right place. Others with proper advice will comment soon.
Be well.
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Take it one day at a time or one hour at a time. Cravings will pass, distract yourself have a walk or take a cold shower or hot. Or just sleep 
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Quitting is hard, it’s uncomfortable. It’s so easy to put it off just one more day, one more week, one more month. To make things easier to manage, just quit for one day, that’s all. Just commit to going bed sober. When you wake up, see how you feel. All it takes is one day at a time, nothing more.
Hang out here, embrace the discomfort with us, we’ll help you though it.
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There is a thread on here called “What’s your reason?” I don’t know how to add a link but if you put it in the search it will pop up. It has helped me keep going a time or two.
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Glad you are here! Thank you for being so honest about this. What you’re describing doesn’t mean you’re weak or failing, it sounds like you’re dealing with something really hard, and addiction has a way of overpowering even the strongest intentions. The shame you’re feeling makes it even heavier!
The fact that you want to stop and are asking “why” tells me you care deeply and you’re not beyond help. You don’t have to hit rock bottom to deserve support. You’re not alone in this, and there is a way forward, even if it doesn’t feel clear right now.
Sometimes focusing on making it through one single day sober rather than imagining a lifetime of sobriety can help. I’ve even focused on staying sober for an hour at a time when I was first struggling to quit drinking. The phrase “one day at a time” (ODAAT) can be a helpful mantra when struggling to accumulate long stretches of sobriety.
Using the sober tool HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) can be very helpful in addressing how you are feeling in the moment! This link below is a page describing each part!
https://bradfordhealth.com/halt-hunger-anger-loneliness-tiredness/
During times of intense stress or urges/cravings to drink I used the 4-7-8 breathing technique (Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 7 counts, exhale for 8 counts) to ground myself and help calm my racing thoughts. It’s also very helpful when struggling to fall asleep. You can change the amount of time you do each stage, I personally prefer 3-5-7! I’ve included a link below to a page that explains the science and health benefits of using the technique!
https://health.clevelandclinic.org/4-7-8-breathing
Lastly, changing your daily routine can help! I know it can be difficult when the responsibilities of a job and children are involved, but little things like changing the route you take to get to and from work and changing your alarm tone/time could help shift behaviors you’d like to eventually change!
I’m grateful you are here seeking help! This is a great place to find support and resources of all kinds. Please don’t hesitate to reach out for extra support! 
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welcome to TS 
check out this, understanding how addiction works helps tremendously to deal with how to stay sober and how to work recovery.
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I found out that i couldnt do this alone thats why i found like minded people at meetings which helped me , effort and desire wish you well
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Welcome! Sometimes a bottom doesn’t have to be some new low. Just when you are truly sick and tired of being sick and tired. I had many times that should have been a bottom (breaking a tooth, a night in a jail cell, missing nursery school pick-up) but it was one morning when my husband wasn’t worried or angry, just grimly accepting that I realised I coild not bear the rest of my life to be like this. For me, it was the push that sent me to AA. I recommend trying some kind of official program if you haven’t already, like AA or SMART or Dharma Recovery. Even if you have gone before, something might land differently this time.
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Theres a point in sobriety and recovery where we learn that sober is better then under the influence
Thank you for your post
No1 post relaps posts or struggling post anymore. My relaps posts make it clear to me what i was thinking when i relapsed
Theyd rather put day one starting over
I hate that
Write here anytime you need
When you crave write here
When you relaps write here
When your pist write here
When you happy write here
You can stay annonomys
Just be hounest with yourself
Accept life on lifes terms
Feel emotions and work through them
Why are you cravings
Accept life on lifes terms
Work though it
Learn
And
Read
Read
Read
If you relaps its ok as long as your ok
For some that last relaps is the last
Just keep posting
And readdddddd
Your experiences strenghths and hopes can save anothers life ya know
Stay strong and keep comming back always no matter what
Stay Annonomys
Enjoy this wonderful community
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I was also a frequent relapser. My longest period of sobriety was 75 days. After I first attended AA two years ago, I relapsed countless times. Each relapse brought new problems—accidents, money loss, police cases, hangovers, and more.
Every day, I used to think, “I’ll drink today and stop tomorrow.” But for me, as an alcoholic and addict, that doesn’t work. If I take even one drink, I can’t stop. That cycle usually lasts for two or three months.
So I realized that the first peg is my real problem. I cannot stop tomorrow—I can only stop today. That’s why I choose not to drink today, one day at a time.
Today, I am 110 days sober—without alcohol and smoking.
Hope you are doing well.
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