Thinking of u Sarah, hope you are ok xx
1 Like
The AA meeting was really good, I’m going to go to as many as I can. Had the conversation with my partner and although he’s understandably upset we are going to work things through together. He’s really annoyed that I gambled our savings away and I feel so bad about it but it’s done and now we need to move forward. I never want to feel like this again x
9 Likes
Im really happy to read that things are more positive now! Onwards and upwards
3 Likes
You dont have to! When u feel a bit clearer and ready to …maybe start writing down what your reasons are for the addictions so that you can begin to address those things…mine were issues from childhood and life in general resulting in me having very poor self esteem and the want for constant escape and quick fixes…rome wasnt built in a day it takes alot of time but i think pinpointing the real issues is key to unravelling the addictions xx
3 Likes
Yep mine definitely stems from my unbelievably awful childhood but I can’t use that as a reason any more. I’ve got the chance of an amazing life without drinking and I don’t want to lose it. It’s time for me to step up and turn things around, it’s going to take a lot for my partner to trust me! My usual way is to have grand ideas of sorting everything instantly but that doesn’t work. Slow and steady wins the race as they say, I’m just going to focus on getting well and take it one step at a time. Ha ha there’s a lot of cliches in there but I do mean it. Thanks to everyone who’s commented on this post, you’ve really helped me through a tough couple of days and I’ll be here with updates every day xxx
6 Likes
I so hear you…one of the biggest things ive had to learn in sobriety is patience…im still learning as i go along but one thing i definately know is nothing in sobriety gets sorted out quickly…there really are no quick fixes, im still on my own journey probably always will be but its definately getting better now, its challenging but now and again i get these little gifts that sobriety gives you as you go along that mean the world… like people starting to trust u again…when it comes and feels amazing… im glad to be on this journey with u xx
3 Likes
Thank you so much xxx
3 Likes
As a compulsive gambler my quick tips for you to aid in stopping this part of the issue or at the very least dampening down the effect whilst you deal with the alcoholism is:
*Give control of all your money to your OH, this includes giving them your bank cards, joint accounts and ID. Ideally at best you need to have a card that cannot be used in places but can withdraw cash if required.
-
Your OH then should only transfer money as and when you need it and you then must get a reciept and change to give back to him
-
Ban yourself from all casinos, bookmakers etc
-
If you work move your pay so that it goes into your OH’s account
-
Plan things to deal with the time, find a hobbie etc
Ideally get to a GA meeting but I appreciate the alcohol side maybe something that needs dealing with first.
5 Likes
Thanks for the advice, I’ve self excluded from all sites and my OH and I are going to discuss further how to deal with the money side. I feel so ashamed, he works so hard and I’ve literally wasted every penny we had saved.
4 Likes
Feeling really down, I’ve not had the energy to move today and I feel bad on Sophia but she didn’t want to do anything, happy watching stuff on her phone! I’ve read “The unexpected joy of being sober “ today which was brilliant and I’m still feeling 100% committed but I just can’t see how my partner will every trust me again. We are staying together but things are understandably strained and I don’t know how I can ever make it right again.
4 Likes
Its not exactly the same but my mother had lost total trust in me when i was at my worst and im not surprised, i lied to her countless times and treat her terribly…its only been recently that i can tell shes coming round and trusting me again…she said shes got her daughter back but we are almost a year since i stopped drinking. Dont look to far ahead now Sarah…keep doing the work on yourself day by day and you might just find with time he will come around naturally when he sees the changes in you xx
2 Likes
I know it will take time, I’m not the most patient but this is something that I’m just going to have to deal with day by day. Talking on here helps and I think the fact I’ve been inside all day has made things worse. We’re going out for the day tomorrow for my daughters birthday so hopefully we can have a nice day xx
4 Likes
Tomorrow is a new day xx
2 Likes
So today is Sophia’s birthday, I’m not hungover (first time I can remember!) My partner and I had a really good chat early this morning and I’m feeling so much better, he’s supporting me all the way and I feel so thankful and relieved. I know it’s a long road ahead but I’m positive that I can finally do this, I want a future that is bright and worthwhile and I will get there. Thank you so much for your support this last couple of days, I honestly don’t know what I would have done without it xxxx
6 Likes
Time is a great healer
You sound much more positive which is great.
3 Likes
I competely relate to this. I’ve went into treatment several times this year, and almost have 30 days again. Everytime i relapse i end up self harming and getting stitches. I decided that im actually gonna end up dying from this if i didnt get help. I hate myself everytime im wasted and have never been suicidial, though my blackout self seems to be. It was a crazy realization, that i could actually accidentally kill myself before my liver gave out on me.
Being in the community, talking to ANYONE and everyone in recovery has shown me that self love has to come first, and it’s hard. But my favorite thing about these familiar strangers, is that they (we) will love you until youre able to love yourself. Lean on us, it truly helps everyone. Its not easy, but everytime i go on here, to a meeting, etc, its like a reset in my mind and makes it all a little easier.
Hang in there, you matter. 
4 Likes
Thank you, funnily enough my partner asked me if I ever self harm when sober and the answer is no. Wasted me has an absolute death wish and I hate myself so much. There is a better life out there for us 
3 Likes
You’ve messed some things up recently. That’s for darned sure…but…you’ve got a fresh new day every day to right the ship. I have some decent sober time, but I still follow stories like yours as I am blown away with the amazing responses. So helpful for those struggling and those with solid time. I haven’t read about your sobriety plan. Still reading through all the responses. Just saying “No more”, “This is it”, “I’ll never drink again” sadly, isn’t enough. I know you mean it…but after some time, without some sort of plan, that resolve often weakens. You aren’t worthless. Not even close. Hugs and positive thoughts for you.
NOTE: You called the nice lady and went to AA!! Good for you
3 Likes
Those labels and behaviors don’t define you. Change the narrative so your partner can be happy to be with a recovering alcoholic and gambler who no longer self harms. But, your sobriety needs to be for you first.
2 Likes
Thank you, I’m planning on going to as many AA meetings as I can and I’m reading sobriety books and talking on here all the time. I’m trying to get as many tools in my sober toolbox as I can because I know I’ve failed on many an occasion previously relying on my own resolve. It definitely helps me to be held to account which I’ve never had previously, I’ve always been able to talk myself into having a drink (which was never difficult!)
4 Likes