I’m replacing drinking with healthy productive things instead but I still miss it. Am I alone?
You’re not alone. If I didn’t miss it, I wouldn’t be an alcoholic.
But what I don’t miss is:
The hangovers and puking all day, the bad decisions, the 15 pounds of fat I’ve lost, wetting the bed, falling down because I can’t walk, passing out on the floor, missing my kids school plays/concerts, the DUI’S, making an ass out of myself, black eyes and loose teeth from fights with strangers… to name a few.
It’s a common thing to feel, but you can learn not to miss it. Time, CBT, replacing alcohol’s previous place in your life with other things, remembering the damage it has done to you and others. When I was in rehab, there was a wall of pictures of everyone who had left rehab with lethal results over the years. Highly sobering (no pun intended).
Also remember you only have to get through today’s romanticization of alcohol sober, then tomorrow you can make the same choice to handle the next day’s struggles. Just keep making that same choice every day.
Dont miss the bad judgements you made with alcohol your making better decisions now without it. Try and think i can have it but i dont want it. Reframe your thinking.
Write down all the bad and i bet it comes off the page write the good which is just an illusion im learning. And it will be almost blank page
You aren’t alone. I still sometimes miss the romanticized version of drinking…the way I wish drinking was for me. There is a tool called “play the tape through to the end.”. When I start wishing I could have a drink and thinking about how great it would be, I fast forward to what would inevitably happen afterward. One drink would turn into three…five…eight…I’d be blackout drunk, saying heaven knows what…I’d physically and emotionally be a wreck…and I’d have destroyed everything I’ve worked so hard to build back in sobriety. So no, my friend…you aren’t alone in missing drinking. I just have to remember that the reality of drinking is far different than what my brain sometimes convinces me that I miss.
It’s easy to miss the high. The high is hard to forget. However we forget how bad the lows are and were. How we make our spouse or kids feel. The morning regret and guilt is the worst for me. Starting fights with my wife over nothing. The hangovers sucks. But of course you miss and romanticize the high we all do or we wouldn’t be here. I had to reset at day 5 and now stand at 2 again.
I missed that old lifestyle for a couple months, because it was the only life I had known for a long time.
I can honestly say now, at over 10 months sober I don’t miss it at all. All those promises they told me about in AA came true. I have some financial freedom. I have the respect of people I care about again.
Just keep trudging, keep actively pursuing your happiness and enjoying your new freedom. I hope some day you’ll get to the point where you don’t see the point in trading away your life for a drink/drunk.
Same here.
It’s day 28 for me and I crave it throughout the day.
One thing that’s helping me is my own curiosity. I’m more curious about being sober than I am about getting drunk.
I know everything there is to know about me drinking, my body drunk and so on. Being sober and getting my mind and body back in shape… Well that feels like a distant memory, at best. I can’t wait to see the new me tomorrow and the day after, without alcohol.
It’s kinda corny, but that’s where I’m at right now.
I love this so much… It’s exactly where I’m at right now too. I always feel like I’ve discovered some amazing secret lifestyle… It’s a whole new world lol
Uploading…
I’m already seeing results.
They encourage me but I gotta be mindful to remain humble and “powerless”.
Also, I’m pretty sure I’m a super hero now.
Same. My powers consist of sleeping through the night, driving safely and not being a piece of shit.
Hahahhhahahha
TOTALLY.
Let’s put “My powers consist of sleeping through the night, driving safely and not being a piece of shit” on a Tshirt immediately.
This is really helpful to read. Just get thru the day and then you can decide the next day but for today Im not drinking. It makes sense to think like this because thinking about forever can be discouraging but breaking into days is mentally easier for me to handle!!
This is what I have been thinking. Im so bored with drinking its like been there done that know how the nights going to end!! But sober mornings or nights theres a lot out there to see including being free, you feel stuck drunk and its just being numb!!!
Omg…
I have been sober for 4 years and almost 3 months and I don’t miss it at all the reason why is because I found a solution and I work the steps thoroughly was somebody who else who has also work the steps the moment that it did my fourth step my obsession to drink Slipped Away it was like an instantaneous reaction. I had been carrying around all these deep dark secrets and resentments and lies and hatred and all this emotional baggage for 27 years and finally I was able to sit down with another alcoholic and to tell on myself, and just in that moment I no longer felt crazy irrational fearful impulsive and I forgave myself for everything that I did to other people and for everything that I did to myself. And my obsession to drink was gone. So for the last 4 years and 3 months there has not been one moment where I thought that drinking would be a good idea or that I missed drinking because honestly my life today is so much better without it because my life is fulfilled with recovery with my higher power with wonderful people with helping other people that I don’t have time to think about what it was like to be a drunk and I stopped romanticizing it because honestly it really wasn’t that great
I miss release, and not thinking. It’s a harder journey to face up to your thoughts/feelings. Sometimes, I think drinking is easier.
BUT there are more things I don’t miss. And I am working on finding escape through different ways. Better ways. Ways that don’t end up in blood, vomit, strangers beds and shame.
I found I had to grieve the loss of my friend. I had to honor the loss and subsequent feelings of panic and loss and self pity. There is absolutely nothing inherently negative about these emotions. When I get stuck in them, that’s a problem for me.
Funny thing, my earliest memory has the same vibe. I was still in diapers. I had woken from a nap and climbed out the bed. I was outside, walking on pine needles, looking for my mother. I felt alone, abandoned, in danger and lost. I was crying. My diaper was wet. That’s the first specific thing I can remember from childhood without any external prompts like pictures.
And that’s how I felt at age 35 during my stint in inpatient rehab, thinking about how to get through the family confrontation / intervention without booze. I missed my friend alcohol.
When I do not recognize and express a feeling, that energy remains in me, usually as an obsession. I have to honor it to let it go. Blessings on your house .
Guys, maybe I’m just feeling really sentimental, but I loved reading this thread and all the beautiful, honest, powerful and funny responses. I don’t have one of my own right now to contribute, as I’m too busy feeling.
Before this quit, my “forever quit”, I would miss drinking when I wasn’t drinking. Sure, I would curse it when I woke up the next day, but as I felt better, the longing for that next drink would build.
It eventually got to the point where drinking wasn’t interfering with my life. My life was interfering with my drinking. Too many responsibilities. Too many expectations to meet. Too many people that loved me, counted on me, or both. All I wanted to do was get through the day, until I could have a drink.
I don’t miss drinking at all, now.