I made it 7 days… For me this is a huge milestone because it took me 23 months to reach this point.
I feel realy good, mental and physical.
But this is also a big trap for me, because I am afraid i will lose focus because of this and that I eventually forget why I started this Sober quest in the first place.
I have al my tools ready for the cravings… Which will definitely come.
But what I realy need is a good plan for the future!
I don’t know how to make such plan.
Do I make a plan for just 1 day, for 1 week for 1 month… Don’t know what’s the best for.
Can someone give me some advice for making a good plan which can help me also stay sober in the future?
Hi @ShadowFax. I’m going to chime in here before everyone else. Great question, by the way.
As a member of SAA, we had a tool called the three circles.
The inner circle is what we considered loss of sobriety, in your case, taking that first drink.
The middle circle consisted of behaviors that weren’t necessarily loss of sobriety, but were still avoided because they were unhealthy for our well-being. An example would be walking into a bar.
The outer circle would consist of healthy behaviors that we want to instill in our life. An example would be working out.
Having good clear boundaries has been a necessity for me. I’m going to recommend you to write out something similar.
@SoberWalker, also, has a really good list of things for the newly sober member.
Refrigerator filled with nice food and alc. free drinks
Telling my spouse about my sober plan
Avoid alcohol related activities and friends (at least in the beginning)
Having a day counter
Avoid wine/beer section in the supermarket and avoid liquor store
Taking a strong vitamine B complex
Taking melatonin to help me sleep
Be gentle to myself, like go to bed early, taking a long bath, etc.
Doing relaxing activaties like meditate, yoga, walking, etc.
When I have cravings: I don’t pick up that first one but I walk, run, work out, eat chocolat, watch Netflix, clean, study, whatever.
Ask for help when I need it.
Be here every day to read and check in sober.
It’s my sober strategy and it helps me to stay sober so far. I’m 9 months sober and very happy with that! I hope you find some help in my list, good luck!! You can do it, give it all!
i also find having a hobby i’m excited about really helps! in my city, there are quite a few ‘first month 50% off’ or whatever so right now i’m doing a month of bikrim yoga for a suuuuper discounted rate. it keeps me engaged and excited, and since i’m a pretty restricted with my finances i want to get the most out of whatever i’m paying for. that might mean for you, building something for your home or making a kick ass cat house. just something to keep your mind engaged, esp if its something that can ‘fill in’ time when you’re not at work or making plans with friends/family.
I also suggest planning an activity as something to take your mind off alcohol if an urge arises.
I have a friend who has relapsed many many times over the years. He is now about 9 months sober and the biggest change he has made this time is to keep a colouring book with him. When he gets thoughts and feels uncomfortable and worried about drinking he starts to colour in and focuses all his attention on that and the thoughts generally pass him by pretty quickly.
This might seem a bit odd but I suggest you try this or something similar.
I’m finding that just wanting to stop isn’t enough for me. It has come to my attention time and time again that knowing what I don’t want to do can only get me so far. Knowing what I dont want, but not being clear on what I do want always sends me right back. I’m finding that it is important to come up with a clear vision of who I want to be- what kind of person I am, how I behave and interact with the world. I’m currently working on this with my therapist
Thank you all for the helpful responses! I dont have time atm to respond to you all…
Gonne do for sure something with all the nice tips and help!
Thanks
For me this is realy difficult to find out what I truly want… I really need some time to figure that out.
Lot’s of things are going to my brain about what i want to change…but lots of things in my life I can not change atm…
That realy bothers me.
Step by step I have to change my life to the person I realy want to be.
It needs time I know, I hope I can be patient enough for that and dont fall back into my old habits.
True, some things may stand in the way of where you want to be right now. But getting to where you want to go means knowing where that is, even if you don’t have the means yet to arrive.
Having a plan or roya goalin mind is very motivating to stay sober I wonder about my own plans for the future and have goals but don’t set a huge goal or plan right off the bat start with smaller goals and plans and when you achieve those give yourself positive affirmations it helps buildmy confidence knowing I’m working towards the bigger plan or goal and it’s a good positive gratification to be proud of something you accomplish be in the moment day to day congrats on 7 days be proud of that be proud you want to live a sober life
I strongly believe in only thinking about what you need to do to stay sober today. Especially in the beginning when crsvings come stronger and more frequently. For me that plan was everything that was in my toolbox.
My physical toolbox (a fabric pouch that I carry in my purse) includes:
Letter I wrote to myself when I was feeling my worst in withdrawal - I pulled it out to read regularly to remind myself why I never want to back there again.
Various motivational quotes and prayers to read when times were rough.
Articles about alcohol and alcoholism.
Later I added all my AA chips to hold onto for inspiration
That was what I physically carried with me. I also had on my phone a copy of The Big Book, recovery podcasts, and audiobooks of positive affirmations.
Everyday I listen to the affirmations in my car as I drive to work then in the parking lot before I go in I say some prayers and mantras to put me in a positive frame of mind. During lunch I go for a walk (weather depending) and listen to my recovery playlist. Driving home I listen to a recovery podcast. Before bed I try to finish my day with a prayer or meditation to thank the universe for giving me another sober day.
I’m not so good on the weekends because I don’t have the routine. But I haven’t relapsed yet after 206 days so I must do enough work Monday to Friday to coast through the weekend. LOL
One thing you hear a lot is “take it one day at a time”. The nice thing about taking it one day at a time is you only need a one day plan, and then put it on repeat.
What works for me is routine. Also staying away from people, places and things that I associated with drinking. I burnt my ships early on (told friends, family, coworkers that I quit.drinking). I went to AA meetings and will go if I need to. Listen to pod casts, watch videos on YouTube, read here. And keep my self from isolating, that is when we are the most vulnerable.
