My name is ivy and I’m an alcoholic. I haven’t been to a meeting in a couple weeks so I wanted to create an online women’s meeting thread where we can pick a topic and take turns sharing our experience strength and hope.
And the topic is pick today is - “Step Three; We made a decision to turn our will and our lives of God as we understood him.”
For me being Buddhist, turning my will over means taking refuge in the Buddha. It means I am committing to following a path where ultimately after many rebirths I can reach enlightenment and become one with the universe again. Taking refuge is a decision to look at meditation training and practice as our “shelter from the rain of problems and pain in life.” The practice of taking refuge has been an ongoing, straightforward practice in the Buddhist tradition for over 2,500 years. We decide to depend on it for the solace we once sought through drugs and alcohol, to let it be the safe harbor we seek in strife or storm. We commit wholeheartedly, realizing “half measures availed us nothing.” Like Step Three in Alcoholics Anonymous, taking refuge is active. We let go of our delusions of control, and instead turn toward three specific spiritual practices, called the “Three Treasures” in Buddhist literature:
Taking refuge in awakening (“Buddha”): Taking refuge in Buddha is a decision to wake up to our true self. Gautama Buddha, the individual on whose teachings Buddhism is based, called this essence our “Buddha nature.” He taught that our inner nature can be awakened, leading us to see the path of light and beauty in the world. Taking refuge in the path of mindfulness, understanding, and love (“dharma”): We take refuge in the dharma when we abandon of addicted ways of “self-will run riot,” and instead decide to study the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous and other spiritual teachings.
Taking refuge in community (“sangha”): The third treasure is our relationship with others: our family, friends, and the fellowship of the Twelve Step community. We decide to trust in people again, because we need their help to fully recover from our addictions and codependency. I’ve lost touch with my spirituality lately and have been distancing myself from people places and things. It’s been a couple weeks now and my birthday is in 10 days. I’m sweating it. I’m having mental and emotional breakdowns because I hate my life right now and nothing is fair and I’m so lonely and I never get what I want and ALL OF THIS contradicts what I believe when it comes to the teachings of Buddha. I’m a mess right now. I need texting buddies who are women in sobriety. So if you’re up for an accountability partner please let me know. I need to fill this empty void. I also have a two year old who I adore. So any other mamas on here?
It would be a super plus if I could find another Buddhist in recovery. Ok so now you tell me what step three means to you? And if you have any advice for me because in this meeting cross talk is allowed.
I’ve tried it my way time and again, and I feel hurt and alone, so know I trust in God, he has my back. And he has yours, too! 
I am so grateful for the many blessings that make up my life; I am especially thankful and grateful for my sobriety. For sober life = my best life!
