Hi, I have been off the sauce for 10 months. My sister is spiraling. She has been in a bad relationship for many years and has 2 small children with this person. She has been medicating with alcohol for a long time. I use to medicate with her. I know that she can only be given a map. I can’t change her behavior or situation. But my mom calls me when my sister is having a scary situation. I think I just need to hear a few people tell me that she has to be the one to pull herself out and even if I love my sister very much I can’t save her. Thanks for listening, you beautiful angles
You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink. Don’t let her spiral take you down. Continue to be a role model of how recovery can improve your life. Perhaps you and your mother might hit a few alanon meetings so she better understands neither you nor her can fix your sister.
You nailed it - only she can make the decision and take action. You can only share your experience with her and tell her how much you care. I’m sure it’s very hard for you - bless your heart. She is lucky to have you.
You nailed it Tina. I remember when you first joined here, how you struggled. But when you chose to do it and you stuck with it one day at a time, it worked, and here you are. It’s the same for her.
I know your heart is breaking. It’s ok to feel sad. You love her. Anyone in your shoes would feel sad too.
Have you considered trying an Al-Anon meeting? It’s for family and friends of alcoholics. You may find it helpful
Eric has a really good thread too:
I have a similar situation, I’m an alcoholic in recovery, My brother says wants to drink until is dead, he have several health complications and only leave house to buy read wine.
I can’t change my brother, but I can change me, so if he want’s to stop, it’s my problem also, if he wants to die drinking, it’s his problem. I can’t do anything to change him. Looks a selfish mindset, but is AS IS. Doesn’t mean I don’t love him.
All you can do is tell her your story. What she does from there is on her.
That is a hard one, I’ve been there many years ago and I was mostly angry.
There’s lots of info out there, here’s what I found on a quick look.
“Helping a loved one with a drinking problem: MedlinePlus Medical Encyclopedia” Helping a loved one with a drinking problem: MedlinePlus Medical Encyclopedia
Oh, also think about going to al-anon.
Edit: just saw that Matt already suggested Al-anon!
And I’ll be headed there in a little while. I’m really struggling today.
Very familiar to me and I am so well aware of how painful setting BOUNDARIES can be but it absolutely necessary❤ wish u the best🙏🏼
Hi Tina, how are things? How are you feeling?
I’m doing okay, I had a relapse. I was at 340 days and went a little nuts. That only lasted 4 days and now I’m trying to get some normalcy back. Thanks for checking in on me.
What a wonderful sister you are! She is blessed to have you as a shining example of a changed life. We all have that person that has inspired us to be better. I see you as that person for her. At least she knows it is possible. I pray she will see the power within you that accomplishes a better life, one day at a time, and has done what you could not do for yourself. That Power is within her too. I pray it is known to her, today. May she find that Power now! Peace and Blessings!
Glad you’re ok Tina. One day at a time
Hang in there mate in recovery they told me do the right thing and the right things will happen
Someone will only stop when they are completely done no one can do this for someone else it has to come from within that’s my experience