Hi I have 19 days clean. I have been craving so bad. I hate to feel and think about stuff that has happened to me. I want to be clean but I want to feel numb again. What can I do to get this off my mind. I go to meetings regularly. I have had a sponsor for a few weeks but she has been busy so we haven’t got to sit down together yet. I am so scared. Ant tips to get using off my mind?
Welcome to TS! There’s a ton of useful info and advice compiled in this thread 
Hope this helps!
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Welcome Alicia! Try to keep yourself busy. Do you have any interests or hobbies? I found myself reading a lot on this forum in the early days. Use the magnify glass at the top to search other stories you can relate to. I also found reading the meme thread helpful when I was craving. It gave me a good laugh. Wishing you the best on your journey.
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I appreciate taking deep breaths in nature. Going out hiking, walking, doing yoga, hanging around in the meme thread can keep you busy and laughing for hours.
Keep on sharing here, write down what’s worrying you. 
Have you tried praying to your higher power? Meditating? Reading your big book?
These things can be intimidating at first. I know they were for me. Nobody ever taught me how to do this stuff. Then one night I had a guy tell me that my higher power was listening. All I had to do was start talking.
So it won’t hurt to ask for help from “above”. I mean, what do you have to lose? Ask for relief from you obsession.
It helped me when I started to fold my hands and close my eyes. Then I just started talking to the empty room. I was surprised what came out of me.
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Remember why you wanted to get sober in the first place. Hold onto that reason, write it down, refer to it often, develop a mantra, focus on one hour at a time, keep reaching out for support, explore new hobbies, and read as much as you can on this forum. And congrats on 19 days! Well done 
Welcome!
Do you really want to feel numb? For me, being numb is why I thought I drank. As the sober days grew, I realized that as I learned how to live life again, there was no reason to be numb. Experiencing life, the good and the bad is a gift.
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And just because you are struggling that does not mean you are failing. It’s Quite the opposite.
You reached out for help. That is a success. That is a win. And 19 days is a huge win!
Please continue these wins and follow some of the above suggestions. And keep reaching out!
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When the cravings hit me I would change my focus to hours of sobriety, rather than the days. Me talking to myself “Okay craving, I can overcome you…I can make it another hour. Hour later still struggling but clean, I’m going to make it another hour.” Some days are harder than others and I had to change my focus to maintain. You got this!! Keep posting and reading here! We are glad you are here seeking support.
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People have had such good suggestions! I would also suggest you go to a meeting and share you are struggling a bit. There is a good chance someone will stay after and talk with you. Also, my personal experience (and this is all we have) is that if my sponsor is so busy she doesn’t have time for me, I need a different sponsor. Sometimes it is a temporary situation, but if we can’t work it out; I have to move on.