I want to stop so bad. I try over and over again but after a while I keep falling back into my old patterns, especially with pmo. I always promise myself to stop, then once I struggle I tell myself it’s okay as long as it’s without porn, then I allow some of it back and without realizing I’m back in the hole where I started, with even less energy to try again, less hope that I can make it. It’s ruining my life, it drains my energy, it messes with my sleep, my relationship, school, everything. Why can’t I find the energy to stop?
idk what to try anymore. It’s my most functional coping mechanism even though it’s my worst addiction. I don’t want to make more excuses but even without them eventually I’ll sit there knowing fully well what this addiction has done to me. And I’ll relapse anyway. I am so over it. How do you all do this?
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For me, I thought porn addiction was the problem. I’ve labeled myself this for many years. That I am a sex addict or a porn addict. Thinking that if I stop the behavior, I will have stopped the problem.
But that’s not how I look at it anymore. Looking back, how could I have ever thought it ever possible for me to stop what I consider a symptom of deeper rooted problems within me?
And until those problems are exposed and addressed, they will continue to subconsciously work against me undermining and sabotaging my conscious efforts to quit.
Let’s look at the problem of connection. I define connection as men in my life that know me and are looking out for my personal and spiritual growth. I have at least 20 such men in my circle of connection. So my question for you is what does your circle of connection look like?
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I have a small friend group that I enjoy being in, there’s a lot of mutual support.
I get the point about the underlying problems causing this, I know that’s the biggest factor. My issue is that I won’t be able to fix those root problems for a long while. I had a lot of trauma happen in my life and I’m pretty sure the porn and masturbation addiction goes back to being abused as a toddler but in the end, getting over that is a long process. I am in therapy and starting trauma therapy specifically now but until I get all the way back to these issues it’ll be a while and I can’t wait for 3 years and waste all that time getting worse with my addiction.
idk, does that make sense? it’s hard to figure out what to actually do to change this right now because it’s holding me back in life massively right now 
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Yes, it makes sense. For me, I was able to point out and identify 6 root problems within me.
It took me 25+ years of searching while chronically relapsing to identify them all.
Have you read Easy Peasy yet? It addresses the root problem of brainwashing.
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