I am currently at the hospital detoxing. Been drinking vodka and hiding it from everyone.
Even my sponsor & brother who is a recovering alcoholic. I still have my job And can’t afford to lose it under and circumstances. I owe child support & bills
Ive been to 30 day treatment countless times.
I’m starved. I’m down to $300 and I did some damage to my vehicle driving to the hospital last night to get help quitting. I think I hit a sign.
I quit once for 25 momns in 2018-20. I was 38yrs old the. Ever stice I picked back up bad things happen
I feel so lost in life the wreckage of my past alsomes feels to overwhelmimg to deal with I’ve burned all my bridges. If I tell people I’ve been liked all along pretend to be sober, going to meetings etc it was all a fraud.
Hey I know how you feel I’ve been a treatment since I was 19 now I’m 36 I’ve been there four times completed it every time long as they ever stayed so far now after my last load trying to stay sober and I relapsed and ended up having two seizures and I’m laying in the hospital bed right now sucks my people that you can talk to that understand Good luck
You could also get honest and gain freedom from this situation happening again. You can do this. Don’t drink today. And repeat. Use your resources and hit meetings when you need. It sounds so simple and so hard at the same time because it is. I’m rooting for you.
Ya I’ve been in ICU since feb13 my girlfriend birthday and I had a seizure and fell off bar stool I know if I don’t change she gone and she is by far one best girls I’ve ever met I’m sure we all have been there and all know what we need to do it’s just about doing stop waiting for it to get better MAKE IT BETTER
Sorry to hear about your current situation. Whilst it’s hard, it can get better. You just need to stay sober. One day at a time. No matter what.
Make that decision. Don’t let anything come between you and being sober - not even yourself.
Whilst in hospital, spend time on here, reading, learning, relating, sharing. Lots of reading. Time to make a commitment, or your going to end up back in hospital or worse, like you say. Use the support available to you, but ultimately, it’s up to you to make changes and start living the life you want and deserve! Decide that you’re now a non-drinker and don’t pick up another drink. Go to meetings instead. Help others. Your daily actions matter; do actions that are sober and loving - towards yourself and others. Believe you can. I know you can sober life is our best life. Make it so.
Ive just checked there is a seat still waiting for you at a meeting . speak to your sponsor or brother tell them the truth ,these are the first things you want to do before you go any further , you know by now that drink wont make things easier only worse so . get of your ass and do something i wish you well
And I think you may be surprised that your AA group will rally around you as this is what the disease does. Hang in there to you both. Lots of wonderful people here on TS.
Hi welcome to rock bottom. It’s a shitty place. That’s the bad news. The good news is that there’s only one way to go from here and that’s up! Well, unless of course that is if you like shitty rock bottom. One of the things that can keep us sober is the remembrances of shitty rock bottom. Stay strong. Recovery is possible. Sending you strength and hugs
You got sober once before and you can do it again. It’s going to be scary as you rebuild but you’ve taken action by showing up here and embracing sobriety. Honesty goes a long way, start with yourself, take a deep breath and take the first step. If you get stuck take another deep breath and keep being sober. You can do this.
That sounds heavy. I hope you can let the burden go. Do you think going to meetings and being truly honest…first with yourself…then with others is possible? I hope so. I hope you can rebuild trust in YOU. Every day is a fresh day. You can start again in honesty.
I can hear your desperation. Even if 30 day programs, AA, etc, didn’t work before, it doesn’t mean they won’t work if you try again, you are a different person than you were then, had a few more hard lessons, got a bit more scared, don’t give up hope. This time maybe THE time. Make damn sure it is THE time.
Thank you for all the support. I’m scared to death to tell my sponsor & brother. I get out of the hospital tomorrow. Scared to see my vehicle obviously it still drives.
The first thing I’m going to do tomorrow is go to the 12noon meeting.
My higher power is God, Christian God.
I did call my a church friend Chris night who knows me and got completely honest with him. He gave me the number of another guy at the church. I did call & get completely honest with person as well.
Chris told me togo to the AA meeting after I get out of the hospital then to call him when the meeting is over.
I also did a ton of praying today I even got on my knees. Chris gave me something to read out of the bible about God’s love & forgiveness of us.
I also did an online virtual counseling session with a licensed counselor through a site called Better Help.
I also did some positive devotionals.
I’m scared to get out of the hospital because it’s safe here. I don’t want to drink I just know anxiety, feelings, and emotions will be high.
There is 3 AA meetings I can go to and ask for advice on tellingy sponsor and close recovery friends I lied and messed up by drinking I drank for 6 days and they were messaging me. Acted as if life was good & said I was still sober when in fact I wasn’t. I used people who I knew I had little trust left with who care about me. That’s hard to look someone in the face and admit when you know it’s a possibility they may say we can’t be friends for now.
Thank you all for caring enough to reply to me. Screw alcohol so damn sick of it running my life it’s so lonely and caused so much wreckage in me and every area of my life. I’m lucky to be alive and miss the shit out of my two kids I have not seen for two years.
Your welcome to PM me. I do see my inbox. However when I click on your avatar I do not see the mail letter symbol the site says to use to PM somebody. Maybe because I’m a new member?
Tough situation. Having gone through this myself… I have to say, it’s not “if” you lose your job, it’s when… Along with everything else you mentioned. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy and one you can change. The reality is, if you continue you will lose everything and risk losing your life. You have to put thought to action, it’s not easy at all. Ask to speak with the hospital chaplain and speak with them about your struggles with alcohol. I know you feel lost right now and are asking yourself wtf is wrong with me? That’s where I was. Like wtf wtf wtf is wrong with me!!
You are an alcoholic and the sooner you can fully submit and be honest 100% with your disease, the sooner you can work to climb out of the abyss. It’s a horrible place and is dumbfounding.
Please understand everything is on the line. Right now there is nothing in the world more important than your sobriety. Not bills, not family, not your job or car… Sobriety. That is the thing that will allow you to succeed with everything else.
sober life is our best life. Make it so.