It’s great having you here @GazIrish This forum is a wonderful place to read and learn and be inspired. This community is simply amazing. We all have your back. Try out different threads on here you’ll find so much wisdom and support and inspiration. We can’t do it alone but we all can do it!!! Reach out and stay connected with us.
One day at a time.
Wishing you all the best.
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This forum is probably the best app/community I’ve come across. I don’t use social media at all, there’s always too much miserable bad news and it’s become toxic. I keep my friend circle very small as it is but for the most part I am loner which isn’t a bad thing I enjoy my own company even when I’m sober.
I read somewhere on a thread here a quote where someone offered a guy a drink and he said no I’m an alcoholic and he was asked oh did you not like yourself when you were drinking and he replied “No I loved myself when I was drunk it was everyone else who didn’t” and it really just struck a chord with me.
I know sobriety is hard but I know I want to and will be sober. On my last relapse I decided to use a synthetic cannabinoid too which lead to me essentially becoming suicidal and had to be taken in by the police for my own safety. I found myself at the edge of a cliff and I can’t remember how I got that there. But what I do remember is coming home and my mother being so upset and worried at what could have happened.
Its not the first time I’ve felt suicidal but it’s been a very long time since I was. I know that I will never be able to drink alcohol, I know I won’t be able to go it alone. I know I’ll need therapy and I’m also waiting for a psychiatrist to give the go ahead for my GP to prescribe me Concerta as I have a previous diagnosis for ADHD and I’ve been on antidepressants and anxiety medication ever since I was 20.
It’s gonna be a long and hard journey but between AA, my GP and this app I genuinely have the belief in myself that I can do it and know I can’t do it alone
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Nothing changes if nothing changes, as they say. It sounds like you are ready to make changes, and that will change your life. You also need to set some boundaries with friends and family. Sounds like your mum is scared enough that she will be on your side to support your not drinking. Others who say that “it is not that bad, just have one”, keep telling yourself it is that bad, and it is never just one. Meetings will help drum that into up our brain. Sending you strength 
. The next few weeks will test your mettle, but it gets easier. 
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This made me tear up a bit… you can do it Gaz…i never thought id get a handle on it but here i am 20 months totally sober…good things will come on your journey i assure you of that…yes sobriety is hard at first but its also really surprising once you get into it…when you start finding the joy in simple things again, the integrity you feel, the pride in yourself, the happiness in yourself and others far surpasses anything that alcohol ever gave you
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You sound just like me you have a allergy to alcohol when you start you can’t stop maybe AA can help you mate that’s were I go talk to people with the same problem wish you well
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How are you getting on Gaz?
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I’m doing pretty good! Yesterday I spent the day out doing bits and pieces in the garden and tired myself out, went to bed early and got up today all sore lol
I have a meeting in a Community Rehab centre today and will be assigned a key worker, they are a quiet local place, they work one on one with you and they work with the local mental death services too so will be able to organise some councelling and work with me with courses, training, support and stuff. So it’s another step forward out of the darkness that I’ve been in.
I’m alot more tired than I have been but I’m still getting the sweats at night from withdrawals so I was waking up alot but it’s better than waking up hungover! Today will be day 4 sober!
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Wow this is brilliant! So proud of you 
do you have some vitamins yet to help with withdrawals? A vitamin B complex is great as alcohol robs our body of B vits, also i took a milk thistle supplement to support my liver aswell…these first days are always hard but keep reminding yourself it does get better, honestly your making an awesome start with everything youve got organised…kudos for searching out the help you need to get yourself better…i found that while i was concentrating on getting myself better the other important things in my life began to naturally get better aswell, keep us updated im absolutely rooting for you 
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Yeah I’ve been taking a multi vitamin and then I’ve been taking Thiamine which is a B vit that I read that people coming off alcohol should take as it helps support the nervous system. I remember when I was hospitalised late last year that they gave it to me on a drip, I think it’s that big Yellow bag of stuff.
The community rehab place I’m going to explained to me on the phone that the option for going into residential rehab is always open if I need it too. They will work with my GP too so I’m covering as many angles as possible and getting the most supports I can. And I have a bit of my appetite back too since yesterday and this morning but I’ve been careful not to over eat because I was eating so little while drinking I don’t want to overwhelm my stomach either.
My meeting is this afternoon so before that I’m going to do some more work in the garden. A bonus was that my Mum seen that I was making the effort to get help and also that I got some work done in the garden and she was happy and a lot more relaxed that I wasn’t just sitting around doing nothing.
I procrastinate alot and I know that is part of the ADHD so I’m just pushing myself to get by it as best I can until I get the right Psychiatric help as sadly like most places, Irelands mental health and addiction services are underfunded and understaffed.
Thank you so much for keeping in touch and asking how I’m doing
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Your welcome, i know how hard all this can be so the more support you can get the better, your definitely doing everything right imho, one day at a time my friend 
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Good luck Gaz, you can do this. Keep stepping forwards.
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Gaz how are you going today mate?
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Sorry I haven’t checked in the past couple of days it completely left my head. I’ve been keeping busy, still sober, I’ve got a key worker in a local community rehab so I’ve been keeping in contact, with them, I’ve been scheduled on to a waiting list to start come counselling and I’m waiting on a psychiatrist list too to tackle my ADHD too. So thankfully everything is still going well, taking it day by day and today is number 7 
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Yes!!! Glad to hear Gaz thank you for keeping us updated
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Great to see you checking in Gaz. Hope you don’t have to wait too long for counselling and therapist.
One day at a time. You’re doing great. Keep on going strong
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Day 10 today guys. I’m sleeping a lot easier but also a lot longer, I’m guessing it’s my body catching up on itself and recouping slowly.
I’ve got my first counselling session on Tuesday morning and have left work for the moment to focus on staying sober and able to make the most of my counselling sessions and psychiatry appointments as for the moment they are quite sporadic and can be last minute with how waiting lists are as I’m relying on the public health services and voluntary organisations.
I should be able to at least get a small payment from social welfare in the mean time and my doctor is helping me with the forms and paperwork needed to apply!
I’ve also been slowly working way on my gardens in the house as they got pretty overgrown over the winter. Physically it’s tough, I didn’t realise how unfit and out of shape I have gotten so I’m just doing things bit by bit and using up as much energy as possible during the days so I know I can sleep at night.
I hope everyone is staying strong too
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This is so helpful. So much wisdom in this community. Great comment 
How are you Gaz?
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Hi all 38 days AF free and thanks all, inspiring to read Gazirish’s posts x
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I’m day 18 today. It’s been a bit of a long day. I’m finding my sleeping pattern has gone to shambles by sleeping all day and awake all night which has other people annoying me which is getting on my nerves a bit but other than that I’ve got regular counselling on Tuesday mornings so I’m just working to that each week where I can go and talk and let off some steam talking
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